Real with Leila

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Real with Leila

Real talk.

Real healing.
🌱Certified in Compassionate Inquiry (Dr. Gabor Maté)
🧬 Infertility & emotional resilience
🪞 1:1 & group therapy (online)
🎓 MSc Psychology & Neuroscience (King’s College London)
💡 Trauma-informed, relationship-centered therapy

09/07/2025

This photo is not a success story.
It’s a survival story.
A grief story.
A six-year infertility journey marked by 11 IVF rounds, countless needles, a million tears, and one extraordinary egg donor.

It’s also a love story.
But not the fairy tale kind.
The kind that survived uncertainty, rupture, resentment, and repair.
The kind that said, I still choose you, even when we didn’t know who we were anymore.

Ten years into our marriage,
we stood under the olive trees to renew our vows,
not because everything went to plan,
but because we stayed.

We stayed with the pain.
With each other.
With the truth.

And now, her.
Our daughter.
Born of science and surrender.
Running barefoot, free and wild, proof that something beautiful can grow from the deepest ache.

I share this not to offer hope,
but to offer honesty.
Because I know what it’s like to scroll past posts like these and feel your heart split.

If that’s you...
Still in the waiting, in the grief, in the unknown,
I see you.
And I believe in your strength.
Not the kind that pushes through at all costs,
but the quiet kind that’s always there,
the kind that allows you to face what’s in front of you, even when it hurts.
Sometimes that strength is buried deep.
But it’s there.
And maybe the greatest strength of all is the compassion we learn to offer ourselves,
again and again,
as we walk this path.

💛

30/05/2025

“I know it’s not his fault. But it’s my body.
I’m the one injecting myself with hormones.
I’m the one bloated, bruised, bleeding, breaking.
And he just… shows up and hopes for the best.”

That’s what she said.
And she’s not wrong.

Infertility isn’t fair.
Not in science. Not in bodies. Not in emotion.

And sometimes, even the kindest partner becomes the punching bag for what biology made lopsided.

As a feminist, she knows he didn’t choose this either.
But she resents it anyway.
The injustice.
The silence.
The helplessness.
The loneliness of carrying the physical and emotional load.

And him?
He’s left walking on eggshells.
Desperate to help.
Unable to reach her through the wall of “you’ll never understand.”

This is what infertility does to love.
Not because people are broken, but because the system is brutal, and the grief runs deep.

💬 Have you felt this in your relationship?
💔 Or watched resentment build around something no one chose?

You’re not alone.
You’re not crazy.
And it doesn’t have to stay like this.

22/05/2025

The thing about stress is that it's not caused by stress.
It's caused by waiting, tracking, googling, injecting, and people like Susan.
But sure, let's blame cortisol.

14/05/2025

You're not overreacting.
You're not too much.
You're someone going through something profoundly human...
And the system isn't built to hold that.

This journey is more than protocols and percentages.
It's hope. It's heartbreak.
It's sitting with questions no chart can answer.

This space exists to hold what the clinics couldn't.
To remind you that your experience matters.
Whoever you are, however you're carrying it.

08/05/2025

⚠️ Many fertility "experts" don't care if you succeed—only that you keep coming back.

⚠️ If something's not working, the answer is often more treatments, more meds, more money.

⚠️ But are you actually being given the full picture of what's happening in your body—AND BRAIN?

Your fertility is not jusy a business transaction.

It's a mental, emotional, and sometimes spiritual journey.

So many of these dimensions go overlooked and misunderstood—by medical professionals as well as family and friends surrounding couples struggling with infertility.

Often, it's only other individuals and professionals who have had or are on their own infertility journey who GET IT.

Do you feel like you've been treated like a number? Drop a 🔥 in the comments!

# infertilityjourney # infertilityawareness # infertilitysupport

24/03/2025

😍Accountability is acknowledging the choices you can control.
💔Self-Blame is harshly criticizing yourself for things outside your control.

😍Responsibility is seeking support, following expert advice, and prioritizing self-care.
💔Self-Blame is neglecting your needs because you feel unworthy.

😍Accountability is taking ownership of how you respond to your emotions.
💔Self-Blame is internalizing guilt for the outcomes you can’t change.

😍Responsibility is setting boundaries and knowing your limits.
💔Self-Blame is unfairly assigning yourself all the fault for your struggles.

😍Responsibility is giving yourself kindness and care.
💔Self-Blame is believing you don’t deserve rest, joy, or love until you achieve a specific outcome.

In short—your fertility journey won't benefit from you blaming yourself.

Take accountability for what is within your control.
Honor your resilience with responsibility.
And aim to compassionately and gently navigate this challenging path. 💛

20/03/2025

Infertility isn't a flaw to be 'fixed.' It's a journey to be traveled—in our own way and on our own timeline.

18/03/2025

Which means your friends might seem clueless about your experience. So what should you do when your friends seem out of touch?

Friends—even well meaning ones—don't always know the best ways to respond to infertility news, updates, or your desire to keep things private.

Some bring curiosity, openness, and unconditional support to the friendship. They don't pry or need to know every detail to be there for you.

Others bring unsolicited advice and opinions on how you're navigating your journey. And insensitivity that hurts.

This is a season where it's absolutely OKAY to prioritize yourself and what you need.

That doesn't mean you have to cut off friends who don't know how to be there for you.

But it may mean expressing your needs more directly, having challenging conversations OR declining discussion entirely, and ultimately setting boundaries that keep you from having to explain, defend, and justify your decisions and circumstances.

What's one boundary that's helped you thrive even when infertility is tough?

13/03/2025

In my work, I believe the ultimate act of compassion is telling people the truth.

Truth that is told with compassion, understanding and care.

That doesn't rob them of their sovereignty.

That respects their intelligence.

That believes they are capable of holding multiple realities all at once. .

That shows them a fresh perspective.

Truth is always compassionate—sugar coating challenging realities and avoiding facing pain only leaves people in suffering. People heal once they feel.

So, around here, we speak truth.

11/03/2025

When you're at a standstill with infertility and nothing seems to be changing, it's easy to go to a place of defeat.

But you can respond to that feeling with understanding.

Let go of judging whether you're “winning or losing”.

And embrace the possibility that high and low moments are part of life.

Even when things aren't changing outside of you—you can change what's happening inside of you.

10/03/2025

Hope keeps us focused on "what ifs" and "could be's" that we can't see, hear, feel, touch, or transform right now.

When we rely on hope, we have to convince ourselves to be positive even when something doesn't seem to have a positive trajectory. We lose our agency and can even feel out of integrity.

Instead, I ground my clients in the present moment and invite them into possibility. This can mean letting go of controlling, planning, and anticipating things getting "better" so that we can actually make RIGHT NOW better.

I love what my mentor, Gabor Maté says about hope and possibility:

"Hope is for something that is going to happen in the future. I don't go there. I don't know what is going to happen in the future. When I look at some situations, I just see them getting worse. In the short term, that's my best assessment.

My question is, 'What is possible for people?' I see human possibility. And that possibility is in the present moment.

We all believe in human possibility. We believe it's possible for people to transform, to learn, to change, to let go of hatred, to let go of judgment, to find the common humanity with each other, to find their own humanity.

That's not a hope of something happening in the future, that's a possibility that exists in the present moment. It's that possibility that keeps me going, not any hope in the future." - Gabor Mate

You don't have to sugar coat infertility by "hoping" for a miracle in the future.

You can find possibilities right now that will not only get you through, but genuinely transform how you think and feel about your infertility journey.

What do you know is possible in this present moment?

06/03/2025

You don't have to OVERCOME infertility to experience confidence, calm, and connection.

Even when things are UNCERTAIN…

Even when you THINK you are FAILING…

Even when you DOUBT that you are enough…

There's a path to peace and possibility.

Check out my private therapy support and Compassionate Inquiry Circles where you can find your way and navigate the nuances of infertility without destroying yourself or your relationship.

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Dubai

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http://www.realwithleila.com/

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