13/08/2023
This is a lovely passage unpacking developmental psychology and is highly aligned with our philosophy.
AS CHILDREN WE MAKE IT ALL ABOUT US~
My mother wasn't emotionally present.
I wasn’t worthy, she didn't love me.
My father was never around.
I wasn't good enough.
My mother never hugged me or ever gave me kisses. I am unlovable.
My father never saw me, acknowledged me.
I am insignificant.
I am invisible.
As children we make it ALL ABOUT US!
That our parents' behaviour meant there was something wrong with us.
That we were somehow at fault.
That we were to blame.
While we are growing up we don’t understand that our parents were human just trying to do this thing called life the best they could with the tools they had and what they believed was available. And most of our parents didn’t show their vulnerable, human side as it’s not what you did back then.
They were just Joe and Mary from Auckland.
Or Mark and Sue for Melbourne. Or so and so from Atlanta…getting on with things. Putting food on the table. Cleaning the house and raising the kids.
They were limited.
They had limited awareness.
Limited tools. Limited knowledge.
And were coming from their own place as children… where they made their own parents limitations…
mean there was something wrong with them.
And the cycle continues.
Because there's nothing wrong with them.
And there's nothing wrong with us.
Apart from the way we see them.
And ourselves.
And what we believe to be true about who we are from how we were parented as children.
Raised by parents who were stuck in their own limited conditioning as are we if we don’t do something different.
As our kids will be if we don’t change this old record that’s been playing over and over and over for a very long time.
Because it's time for something new. It’s time to stand for something very different in the way we relate to one another. Where we can get out of blame and see past the limitations of one another.
It's time for a very new relationship technology where we understand the cycles of the past. So we can recreate the relationships with our own parents, family, friends and neighbour's.
Where we can create very different mutually empowered, sovereign and functional ones.
With our children.
Where they know without a doubt, that our own limitations as parents mean NOTHING about them.
Man if humans had this awareness….the world would be a very, very different place.~
~Jacqlin Richards
