13/10/2025
The friend who shape-shifts š¦
Who gets on with anyone, fits in, says yes, and is so agreeable that sometime you just want to shake them and ask ābut what do you really likeā?
āWhere do you want to go for dinnerā, you might ask. āOh I donāt mind, wherever you thinkā they reply.
Itās similar to, but not quite the same as people pleasing. Chameleon mode (or the more technical schema mode therapy term ācompliant surrenderer) is about maintaining connection at all cost.
Your chameleon friend learned that safety means blending in, agreeing, staying small.
They need you to be there with them.
They need safety, patience, and presence -
so their body can learn itās safe to be seen. š¤