Blue Gum Centre for Psychology and Psychotherapy

10/02/2025

Thanks Schema Therapy Institute Australia for this great summary.

Mode Spotlight: Bully Attack

In Schema Therapy, modes are the moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses that we experience. Today, we are focusing on the Bully Attack mode.

The Bully Attack mode is a fight mode. This mode often develops as a way to regain a sense of power and control when we’ve experienced vulnerability, humiliation, or helplessness. In our early life, we may have observed someone responding in this way to others or to us. By lashing out, intimidating, or belittling others, this mode protects us from feeling vulnerable or exposed. When we’re in this mode, we can feel driven to dominate or criticise, often justifying our actions as self-defence or asserting authority. However, beneath the surface, this mode often masks deeper feelings of insecurity, shame, or fear. While it may create a temporary sense of control, it also damages relationships and reinforces isolation.

So what can we do instead? The Bully Attack mode is rooted in pain and a fear of vulnerability. The healthy adult mode can help by acknowledging the underlying emotions and reminding ourselves that we can be accepted for who we are. We need to set boundaries with this bully and take responsibility for our actions. Instead of lashing out, we can focus on building assertive, respectful communication and reminding ourselves that true strength lies in connection, not control. Over time, we can replace this defensive pattern with healthier ways of relating to others and ourselves.

Interested in learning more about this mode? See our 7 minute schema YouTube video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXtRTclrhJo&t=68s

08/02/2025

Short and straight forward information in this TED talk showing how to use mindfulness to break habits.

Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.Can we break bad habits by...

07/02/2025

07/02/2025

improve treatments; save lives

07/02/2025

Less than HALF of people with Anorexia Nervosa get better with current treatments. Are we targeting the wrong thing? Help us develop a new theory of illness so we can get people better, faster.

07/02/2025

Sleep - so important.
Free resource to help.

Sleep Ninja is currently the only app available that has been codesigned with parents/carers, their teens, and mental health experts that has been shown to be effective in helping young people improve their sleep and reduce signs of depression.

07/02/2025

This study highlights a social determinants of health /mental health. This is so often overlooked by main stream narratives that locate the cause of ill health in individuals but not the contexts they are in.

A scoping review spanning 25 countries finds that financial insecurity, housing deterioration, and social withdrawal—rooted in fuel poverty—are major drivers of psychological distress.

31/01/2025

An “active” therapist isn’t someone who gives homework or advice—they’re someone who deeply engages with a client’s world, helping them make sense of their emotions, relationships, and struggles. In depth-oriented and relational therapies, this means creating a space where clients can explore not just what they already know, but also what might be influencing them beneath the surface. Research suggests that clients do not necessarily find directive interventions, such as behavioral assignments, to be meaningful. Instead of offering quick fixes, an active therapist helps clients uncover new ways of understanding themselves, opening the door to lasting change beyond just symptom relief.

New study finds that clients value therapists who are engaged—not just listening passively—but activity doesn’t mean giving advice or homework.

27/01/2025

So important we focus on the social determinants of physical / mental health rather than blaming the individual (or their parents!)

A Canadian study links food insecurity to developmental disorders, suicidal ideation, and substance use among children.

27/01/2025

So common for feeling of intensity to send us in the direction of repeating a problematic dynamic in relationships. In schema therapy this is called schema chemistry.

Intense feelings, no matter how compelling, are not a measure of true and enduring closeness. In fact, intense feelings can block you from taking a clear and objective look at who this person is and whether the relationship is good for you.