Psychotherapist Maryna Viezhys

Psychotherapist Maryna Viezhys 🌱 Individual therapy with adults and teens
⭐️ Therapy for couples and families
🍎 Counseling for parents based on the theory of attachment

"I am judged unfairly"."It's unfair to me"."How can she be so unfair to me".πŸ‘‘ It sounds like it's all about injustice. A...
14/06/2022

"I am judged unfairly".
"It's unfair to me".
"How can she be so unfair to me".

πŸ‘‘ It sounds like it's all about injustice. As if everything was fair, there would be no problems.

🌱 However, it may be that the keyword in the phrase "unfair assessment" is "assessment". A person may react not so much to injustice as to the fact of the assessment itself.

πŸ‘Ύ Feelings of being judged can cause resentment, aggression, and a desire to defend oneself. Sometimes, "the best defence is an attack" - and I resort to devaluation, criticism, humiliation and resentment.

❀️ Behind the feeling of injustice may be a reluctance to be evaluated.

A man can't get along with anything if he can't get along with himself.🌼 If you move to another country, you still take ...
02/06/2022

A man can't get along with anything if he can't get along with himself.

🌼 If you move to another country, you still take yourself with you. The ability to take care of yourself, understand and analyze yourself, value yourself and take care of yourself is a separate task.

🐳 To treat yourself carelessly, without interest, to follow impulses and fears, not to make decisions, to cheat on yourself, not to hear yourself - this is how the inability to treat yourself looks like.

🌱 Often, in therapy, we start regardless of the initial request. That base helps a person more successfully to cope with what life brings.

πŸ”₯ Do you have the spirit to see yourself in your essence?

Am I a perfectionist?πŸ§€ Mouse in the maze. In the left corner, they give her cheese. In the right corner, they shock her....
26/05/2022

Am I a perfectionist?

πŸ§€ Mouse in the maze. In the left corner, they give her cheese. In the right corner, they shock her. The mouse will not go to the right corner a second time. She finds cheese and is happy.

🐭 Suppose you swap cheese and current. The mouse, out of habit, goes to the left corner - it gets pain instead of cheese. She won't go to the left corner anymore. She will look elsewhere for cheese.

πŸ‘‘ But what does a person do?
He has been going to the left corner for 20 years. Instead of cheese, he gets pain. And says, "No, there must be cheese."

Expectations that won't come true.
This is very characteristic of a perfectionist.

🐧 A perfectionist chooses for himself the conditions of his happiness. And not thinking about how realistic this choice is. Contact with reality is complicated.

πŸ› Mistakes are a terrible thing for a perfectionist.
They trigger some ancient archival mechanism of inner hell. And a person would rather refuse or procrastinate than face pain and fear of failure.

A perfectionist doesn't have the skill to be in reality.
❀️ It is difficult to get out of this Mâbius strip on your own.

Trauma or ADHD?πŸš— If a child has experienced trauma or loss, we may see symptoms of ADHD or some other common childhood d...
16/05/2022

Trauma or ADHD?

πŸš— If a child has experienced trauma or loss, we may see symptoms of ADHD or some other common childhood diagnoses in their behaviour: agitation, difficulty concentrating, and hyperactivity.

πŸ›Ž Some possible consequences of attachment injuries:
β–Έ changes in regulation, expression of emotions, difficulties in controlling impulses: despair, helplessness, hostility, irritability, aggression, self-harm and risky behaviour
β–Έ changes in self-perception: lack of self-worth, feelings of guilt and responsibility, feelings of shame;
β–Έ depersonalisation and derealisation
β–Έ interpersonal disorders: lack of trust in oneself and others, lack of friendly relations, which leads to social isolation, the tendency to re-victimisation (tendency to repeated violence) and/or victimisation of others (bullying, abuse)
β–Έ changes in the perception of the perpetrators: the tendency to accept the opinion of another, the idealisation of the offender, the fear of harm to the offender
β–Έ somatoform symptoms (conversion), hypo- and hyper-excitation, the pain of any kind in the absence of actual disease
β–Έ lack of attention and concentration, problems with speech and poor motor coordination

🌱 Understanding the social/family situation is essential before treating a child.

πŸ”‘ In addition to questioning, "Why is he behaving like this?", it is vital for parents to ask, "What happened to him?". Very often, the second question explains the first.

❀️ "Weird" behaviour can hide trauma of attachment.

Concerning survival strategiesβ–Έ People do what is adaptive for them to deal with the threat.πŸ’™ We respect angerIt is esse...
06/05/2022

Concerning survival strategies

β–Έ People do what is adaptive for them to deal with the threat.

πŸ’™ We respect anger
It is essential if you are constantly in danger. Anger means movement, action. Due to anger, a person overcomes his fear. This anger is extremely important to them. They need to turn fear into anger to continue to resist.

πŸ’› We respect avoidance
Avoiding emotions, avoiding vulnerabilities. You cannot share your fear if you are on the battlefield. It will not help to cope with the threat. The person is trying to turn off deflections or distractions. To act under pressure you need to deactivate vulnerable emotions.

🌼 Client:
"I do not know".
"I do not want to talk about it".
"Everything will be fine".
"It wasn't so scary".
"If you think logically, ...".

🌳 Therapist:
"You want to talk about it. It gives a sense of security. You have a right to it."
"You're extremely angry. It's okay. It's a part of you that you don't want to lose right now. Help me understand why it's so important to you."

πŸ‘‘ Man has the right to respect his survival strategy. It is an adaptive response to the threat and is now urgently needed.

🐍 The danger comes when these strategies become chronic.

❀️ We respect survival strategies - now they make a person more effective.

Address

QSL
Brisbane, QLD
4066

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