Allison Tate Counselling

05/01/2025

Hi all! It’s been a minute between posts… time certainly flies by! I’m very grateful that you have all been so supportive of Allison Tate Counselling over the past three and a half years, and as a result, it has been a busy and rewarding time. Unfortunately it hasn’t left a lot of downtime for social media 🤷‍♀️

The New Year has really made me stop and think about our expectations for ourselves and our families in 2025. We all wish each other ‘Happy New Year’ but I’m conscious of the fact that if we are just hoping for happiness, that we might undervalue all of the other experiences that will inevitably come our way in the next 12 months. Maybe we can look forward to an Authentic New Year and all that comes with it in 2025. Let’s walk beside each other when we do experience happiness in joyful moments, but also bear witness as we cry, love, grieve, succeed, fail, grow and be still, because life is ALL the things all the time!🌻😌

11/12/2022

At this time of year, I always feel very privileged to be part of those reflective conversations with children and teens as they look back on their successes for the year. The individual differences in what success looks like are as varied and unique as our children!

It’s a great time to sit together and acknowledge all the ways they’ve grown… the fears and challenges they’ve overcome, the hard times they’ve persisted through, and all the ways, big and small, that they’ve progressed towards their personal goals. And for those families who feel they are still journeying towards that success, I see you too 🌻

Today, I read a wonderful fb post written by a grandmother about end of year awards. It really resonated with the mother and teacher in me so I wanted to share it with you too!
…

I SEE YOU and YOU DON’T NEED AWARDS TO MAKE ME PROUD.

It’s a time of badges, certificates, medals, trophies, recognition, awards, prizes and of high achievement. I love seeing the kids that shine at this time of year - a big high heartfelt round of applause to you. You so deserve it for the effort you have put in.
But this message is for the kids that didn't get called up for any of the above...
I SEE YOU.
To the child that conquered their fear of heights, or sleeping in the dark, or riding without training wheels or sleeping out for the night for the first time this year,
I SEE YOU
To the child that managed to resolve more conflict than they started this year, to the child that learnt to say the impossible; "I'm sorry", and to the child that walked away from the fighting instead of getting involved,
I SEE YOU
To the child for whom school is a huge struggle, you get up everyday and you go,
I SEE YOU
To the child that battled all year with the maths, or reading, or concentration, or speaking out in class, or learning their words, but persevered anyway,
I SEE YOU
To the child that found the kindness in their heart to reach out in anyway to another person or to an animal in need or in pain,
I SEE YOU
To the child that learnt to give and to share for the first time this year and even found joy in these,
I SEE YOU
To the child that battles to make friends and to be social, you made new friends this year and for that,
I SEE YOU
To the child who wanted so much to please, but was just out of sight of an adult who perhaps was too busy or too distracted,
I SEE YOU
To the child who lost a friend or a loved one this year, but carried on everyday bravely even though their heart ached,
I SEE YOU
To the brave parents that try everyday to do the best for their kids,
I SEE YOU.
May you and your children revel in small but significant victories that you have both experienced this year, as I will with my beautiful grandchildren. For every year there is progress and growth, we don't need a podium or handshake or a hall of applause to be seen.
I SEE YOU.
Author Unknown
…

Whether your children have been formally acknowledged for their success at end of year school or extra-curricular presentation events or not, maybe you could find meaningful ways to celebrate them for their individual success and achievements, whatever they may be 💜

10/07/2022

Who else springs into action to help move their children quickly through uncomfortable emotions? The goal? Rationalising and resolving issues!

Most of us find it difficult to see our children struggling, because we are hardwired to nurture and care for them as they grow. We naturally want to protect them. But what if our ‘fix it’ mentality isn’t what they need, or as I’ve come to learn, not what they actually want?? 🤯 What if our job is to simply be with them and love them through the tough stuff? To model for them what it looks like to tolerate emotions and distress, without needing to short cut straight to the solution. I hear many children and particularly teens (including my own!), telling me that they just want us adults to listen; not give advice, distract, problem solve, or fix, but simply to listen.

Can we be more intentional in supporting our children by…
• actively listening
• acknowledging their feelings
• empathising with their experience
• and simply being there with them?

Sometimes by listening, we can create a safe space for them to start exploring their own next steps. Then we get to reinforce their wisdom and capacity to manage hard things, and in doing so, we build their self confidence and resilience. And that seems like the goal after all!

Is it just me or does it take the pressure off knowing that we don’t have to fix it….? 🤔

08/05/2022

I have spent Mother’s Day with my two wonderful, now adult, children and my own beautiful mother, and I feel blessed to be able to do so. I also know that for others, this day can be filled with many different emotions… For some, they grieve for children they have lost, and for others, they grieve the loss of their own mothers. In some families, there is distance between mothers and their children, and both can be grieving for the lost connection. There are others who yearn for children and may not have them, but are present and nurturing in the lives of others.

Today is also a time to appreciate those we look to for inspiration and support on our different journeys as mothers, without whom we would struggle when the responsibility weighs heavily on us.

Wishing you all space to acknowledge this day in a way that is meaningful for you ❤️

06/02/2022

I know there are many parents and their children who have loved the extended holidays, whilst others are pulling out their hair and counting down the minutes to Monday’s return to school!! Wherever you find yourself on that continuum, go gently into this week.

The transition to a new school year can be a highly charged time for some of our children and they need us to provide the calm that they might be lacking. Add to that the concerns and apprehension surrounding the current Covid situation, and we’ve got higher than usual stress levels all round.

Talk openly to your children, in an age-appropriate way of course, about the impacts of Covid. Fear often grows in the absence of information. Let them see your positive mindset about the new school year, their new teacher and their classmates. Children are like sponges and will absorb the messaging they hear. And if your child is feeling anxious about that first day of school, talk them through what to expect. Let them know how proud you are of them and their efforts, and how excited you will be to see them at the end of the day and hear about their adventures.

Whether it’s a smile and a wave as they ride off towards school on that first morning, a warm and reassuring hug at the gate when you drop them off, or a well-planned transition that involves the support of school staff, I hope the start to the year is a positive one! 🏫🔔📚

24/01/2022

Sometimes we convince ourselves that our teens don’t need us and would prefer we leave them alone. Keep knocking!!

We can't allow a door to divide us... keep knocking. ❤

28/11/2021

For those who celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah and other festivities, it can be a very busy time of the year for families! So it seems like a good opportunity to chat about our children and how the holiday season impacts on them.

Typically the end of the school year brings with it many exciting events... concerts, excursions, and class parties. Throw in our busy home calendars that include dance recitals, drama plays, sports break up parties, catch-ups with family and friends, religious celebrations, Santa pics, and the list seems endless! While these events are for the most part exciting, and some children look forward to them with eager anticipation, others can find them overly stimulating and stressful. This can lead to a feeling of overwhelm that seems to come with the territory. And this is not just true for the young people!!

So top tips?

1. Try to maintain some semblance of your normal daily routine - particularly for children under 8 years. Routines are predictable and bring stability

2. Prepare your children ahead of time. Sharing your schedule and the details of upcoming events can help alleviate their stress and anxiety

3. Make sure to include some quiet, low demand days/nights to allow children time to recharge their social batteries

4. And lastly, if you do face an overwrought and emotional child (or teen!), respond with empathy and model for them your own healthy coping strategies

‘Tis the season to be jolly... but let’s be on the lookout for other feelings as well 💛

26/09/2021

A common concern I hear from parents when they reach out for counselling is... “I am worried that I’ve somehow missed something with my child”. When a parent raises this, I always give a similar response. Parenting is hard! All of us who are parents know this. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop us from chastising and judging ourselves for not doing it well enough. I don’t think any of us would have the same level of self-judgement if we engaged a tutor to support our child if they were struggling with maths, or a coach to teach them soccer skills, or a dance teacher to improve their dancing.

When we engage a counsellor, it most certainly is a reflection of our parenting... but not in the way we fear. If as parents, we recognise that our child is struggling for any reason and we reach out to someone to provide support, we are doing all in our power to help them build the skills they need on their journey to adulthood! 💛

05/09/2021

Father’s Day is a day of celebration for many but can be a tough day for many others... If you, or someone you know is struggling today, you might find the post below a good resource 💛

This weekend may bring up tough emotions for some people. If you're worried about someone, reach out to let them know you're thinking of them and want to support them in any way you can.

For tips to help you support someone, visit: https://www.ruok.org.au/supporting-someone-on-fathers-day

21/08/2021

To all of my wonderful family, friends and colleagues... I just wanted to say thank you and let you know how grateful I am for the overwhelming support I’ve received since starting to grow my counselling business! I have been humbled by your beautiful messages and the recommendations you’ve shared with others.

It has been a privilege to start working with new families and make connections with amazing young people 💛

01/08/2021

Hi everyone! Hope you’re all staying safe during the lockdown.
The quote below is an all time favourite of mine! Helping our children build the skills for self-regulation is so important. And it all starts with connection 💛