20/11/2025
This is where the shifts happen - don’t give up just before it gets better!
1️⃣ His reaction is about the discomfort, not about you
When someone is struggling with drinking (or early sobriety), accountability often feels like shame.
It’s a pattern, not a personal truth.
You didn’t do anything wrong by naming behaviour that wasn’t okay.
You’re actually interrupting a cycle that needed to be interrupted.
This is the part where it feels worse before it feels better.
2️⃣ You can hold a boundary without explaining, justifying, or defending
You do NOT need to:
• convince him
• get him to agree
• make him understand
• prove your point
A boundary is a clarity statement, not a debate.
“When X happens, I will do Y.”
That’s it.
That’s the entire script.
Staying calm and consistent is more powerful than any argument could ever be.
3️⃣ Don’t abandon yourself just because he’s uncomfortable
This is the part most women struggle with.
His discomfort is temporary.
Your self-abandonment can last years.
Holding a boundary isn’t punishment, it’s protection and clarity..
For you, for your kids, for the relationship (if it’s going to recover), and for his long-term change.
Sometimes the first step toward a healthier dynamic… is him not liking it.
That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means you’re recalibrating the entire system.
⭐ If you’re walking through this right now... the blame, the tension, the emotional minefield.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re shifting out of survival mode, and that’s uncomfortable for everyone at first. But it’s also the turning point.
Don’t give up now!
👉 If you want support with boundaries, accountability conversations, or rebuilding trust without losing yourself, then DM me “help” and I’ll point you to the episode if the podcast that fits your situation best.
