26/01/2020
Yesterday afternoon something happened. I had to choose whether to harden my heart or soften my soul....
During a simple act of kindness on my part, a young boy (no older than 12 or 13), took advantage of the situation & in a few very swift & calculated moves stole my wallet from my bag.
Now before you ask:
Yes, I’m ok.
No, there was no cash in my wallet.
Yes, I reported it.
Yes, I cancelled my cards.
No, he wasn’t able to empty my accounts.
But the logistics of the event are not why I’m sharing this here.... I’m sharing because of what happened in my body after the event & the gifts of gratitude & appreciation I feel this morning.
Don’t get me wrong, I had all the immediate reactions a threatening event usually creates... my fight or flight response kicked in, my heart was exploding out of my chest, my adrenaline pumping, I was in shock & had difficulty stringing my sentences together when speaking with the police & with the banks to cancel my cards.
But once the logistics were out of the way, I sat with the sensations of something very different beginning to flood my system.... the awareness of compassion, forgiveness & love for the young boy & for myself. I made a choice....
I chose to soften, surrender & release rather than harden my heart. I considered what would drive a young boy to be so calculated, bold & cruel? What cruelty has been shown to him? What or who has hardened is heart? How long has he been deprived of unconditional love & safety?
Truly I felt sadness & longing for him, not bitterness or anger. For wallets can be replaced, cards reordered & apart from a slight inconvenience, there is no long term damage done.
But hardening of the heart done repeatedly over time every time we choose anger & fear over love causes dis-connection, dis-harmony & dis-ease of our body & spirit. Now that damage is much more challenging to undo!
Long ago I let go of the idea of accidents or coincidences, rather I believe in alignment & synchronicity. Just hours before this incident I had been sitting with my ex-husband having an in-depth conversation about how far we have come since separating a year & a half ago. While planning our co-parenting schedule for the year ahead, we discussed how different we felt about ourselves & each other since separating. I declared how much I felt I had softened my hard edges, felt more connected with myself, more present & ever so grateful for the embodiment practices, ceremonial work, rituals & emotional release techniques I have learned in the last 2 years. He agreed that he noticed the difference in me too....
And then wham! The Universe, foxy minx that she is, sends a messenger in the form of a troubled youth to check just how much my walk is in alignment with my talk!!
And double wow, no coincidence that this all unfolded on the first new moon of the year (and the decade), a lunar event associated with letting go of outdated beliefs & patterns to make way for new intentions & clarity. Yesterday was also the day my dad was released from hospital post surgery for his bowel cancer! So much releasing & surrendering of old to make way for new....
So when I got home last night I performed a smoking & cleansing ceremony on myself & the bag he had rummaged through. I danced out any remnants of fear, until my body moved & vibrated with love & joy. I lay my body on the floor & gave over to the tremors I’ve been trained to do for emotional release. I gave thanks to the Universe, my Higher Self, the young boy, & all my teachers & mentors over the last couple of years. I literally laughed out loud!!! Then I ordered up with clarity & certainty, calling out my intentions of Abundance, Love, Magic & Joy for the year ahead.
I slept well but woke up at 3:30am dreaming about the incident. I lay there this morning in the early hours before the sun rose & took myself through a heart congruency meditation that I’ve recently been taught. I flooded my body with the light of gratitude & sent that out across the world & to the young boy. I called on my Intuitive Intelligence for guidance on what lesson I was being gifted & why this event had occurred. This is the message I received:
“You needed this.
This was your time.
Show up and take full responsibility of your life.”
I cried. Held my hands to my heart & gently fell back asleep.
And so life moves on. Today is new. I feel renewed.
If you’ve read until the end of this share, thank you. And I encourage you to choose love over fear. Every time.
Much love,
Naomi x
💜💜
