27/11/2024
Story #4 Support Body with Lifestyle
Lillian's Collapse!
Chronic Fatigue for Lillian had become very serious. Her nervous system was so overwhelmed that she would lose consciousness without warning. She feared for her health and safety.
Some stresses like health issues, renovating a house and caring for family, can't be resolved in one go. We need healthy lifestyle to support body and mind.
Lillian: “I don't eat breakfast or lunch. When highly stressed I won't have a proper dinner either. I consume 8-10 coffees a day, it's virtually stopped being a stimulant through overuse. I can stay awake for 48-72 hours straight however will become unconscious without warning. This resulted in my driver's licence being cancelled, due to risk of me falling asleep behind the wheel.”
Lillian and I chatted about her health and life. She was formerly a nurse and is now caring full-time for a husband and 2 children with special needs. Her husband returned from military service with PTSD. He has good days but mostly challenging days. Ci******es were her go to lifestyle habit when she wanted a break.
In the absence of a functional destress ritual, smoking filled the void. “It's very quick and easy to do.” Life was exclusively lived in the sympathetic nervous system (stress and stimulation), followed by collapse. Although I have consulted with many overwhelmed people, hers was most serious due to loss of consciousness.
Such was the extent of Lillian’s stress and anxiety, her nervous system decided to shut down from time to time. Although ci******es allow her a break from stressful situations, they don't provide any significant grounding or relaxation, that is sorely needed.
Ci******es also suppress appetite, and less appetite means lower overall nutrition. Puffing on a smoke, is different from the deeper relief felt, activating your parasympathetic nervous system (the rest and digest nervous system). Here is what you can practically do.
Ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system PNS:
• 20 minutes of meditation
• A tai chi or yoga class
• Physically connecting with nature and animals
• Hypnotherapy treatment
How the sympathetic nervous system SNS activates:
• Work excessively without breaks
• Avoid solving problems, turn to sugar, smoking and caffeine instead
• Have poor eating and sleep habits
• Be too focused on the past or future
Because Lillian’s physiology was so extreme (high stress followed by unconsciousness), support through lifestyle was critical. Our body can only handle so much pressure, so it is important to lower overall stress levels. My suggestion was to incorporate rest that activates the PNS, for 20 minutes, twice per day.
Me: “Spontaneous collapse is a risk to safety, so I suggest using lifestyle to support your body and mind. Dedicating 40 minutes total per day to properly relaxing, will activate your parasympathetic nervous system. The purpose of a de-stress ritual is to lower your baseline stress level and therefore your anxiety.
Over time the body gets familiar relaxing without drugs, medication or collapse. Burnout is not the desired option with 2 kids and a partner to support. We need rest and space to process our human experience.”
Lillian decided that short rituals wouldn’t be enough. She started spending the whole day, once a week at a relative’s property. She relaxed in a caravan on the farm, doing nothing or whatever she wanted. During this time, she also quit ci******es and replaced most coffee, with water.
Find opportunities to renew physical energy and mental clarity. You might like a little rest each day or a longer break once per week. Light meals full of vitamins are valuable. Fun and recreation may be the break needed to refresh your mind. The opportunity here is to acknowledge when your physiology has had enough and use healthy rituals to stabilise.
Chances are you are a service orientated person, taking care of family, putting others ahead of yourself. Are you the honourable one who cares deeply for others welfare, at the expense of your own? Do you take on extra shifts when asked? Work unpaid overtime? Say yes to friends’ problems when there is already too much to do?
Are you the nurse, carer, teacher, worker or protector for those around you?
The low self-esteem character, who puts themselves last, secretly wants to scream in anger. Food, alcohol, ci******es, drugs, phone scrolling and ma********on are used for stress relief or maybe all of these.
Saying no to other people's problems, is saying yes to yourself. If someone wants attention during your self-care ritual, you tell them you have an appointment. Tell your loved ones, you are unavailable during certain time periods. This is a healthy self-esteem action.
Here is how to do it. Choose 2x 20 minute periods prioritised for self-care. Book it in your diary, like it is a doctor’s appointment. People keep their doctor’s appointment, because they are necessary. Place a high importance on your recovery time.
Lillian quit smoking and lowered coffee consumption. Water and food intake was increased. She took time out once per week in a natural farm setting. Lifestyle made a difference. The time you use to look after body and mind is well spent.
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