Optima Psychology Solutions

08/04/2026

Is today the day to be rebellious? 👊

Be a rebel.

07/02/2026

07/02/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/1DbbxFfBk4/?mibextid=wwXIfr

If you’ve ever watched how someone treats children and felt a quiet sense of discomfort—trust that instinct.
It’s subtle sometimes. Nothing loud. Nothing dramatic. Just a feeling in your body that something isn’t right.
Narcissists can perform for adults.
Around children, the mask slips.
Not because children are difficult—but because children require patience, empathy, and emotional presence. And those are things narcissists struggle to sustain.
Children don’t respond to charm. They respond to safety.
Here are 5 red flags narcissists cannot hide from children:
1️⃣ THEY GET IRRITATED BY NORMAL CHILD BEHAVIOR
Curiosity annoys them.
Noise overwhelms them.
Emotions feel “too much.”
Sighing. Eye-rolling. Withdrawing.
Not because the child is “too much”—
But because narcissists struggle with regulating themselves.
2️⃣ THEY COMPETE WITH THE CHILD FOR ATTENTION
They interrupt moments.
Pull focus back to themselves.
Sulks when the child becomes the center of joy.
Healthy adults don’t feel threatened by children.
Narcissists do.
3️⃣ THEY USE SHAME INSTEAD OF GUIDANCE
Mocking. Embarrassing. Criticizing—publicly or privately.
Instead of teaching or comforting, they humiliate.
Shame isn’t discipline.
It’s control.
4️⃣ AFFECTION TURNS ON AND OFF
Warm in public.
Cold at home.
Love becomes conditional:
given when the child performs,
withdrawn when the child has needs.
Children feel this instantly.
5️⃣ THEY EXPECT THE CHILD TO MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS
The child becomes responsible for:
– keeping them calm,
– keeping them happy,
– keeping the peace.
That role was never meant for a child.
THE REALITY
Narcissists can hide a lot around adults.
Children expose what can no longer be performed.
Because children don’t adapt to dysfunction—they react to it.
And when safety isn’t present, you feel it in your body before you can explain it. That tightness. That pause. That quiet alarm that says, Something here isn’t right.
If this resonated, it’s because you’ve seen parts of this dynamic up close.
And once you see the pattern clearly, you stop questioning your instincts and start trusting what you’ve known all along.
That shift doesn’t happen through willpower.
It happens through clarity and structure.
What was the first moment you noticed something felt off—but couldn’t yet put it into words?

10/01/2026

As 2026 starts, lots of friends, family and clients have been sharing their big aspirations and goals for the year (me included).

And then… there’s the February fizzler - when motivation fades and life gently (or not so gently) intervenes. Sound familiar?

That’s why I keep coming back to the 1% rule. Small actions, done consistently, compound over time. Not exciting in the moment, but surprisingly powerful.

What compounding can look like in real life:
• Reading 2 pages a day = 700+ pages a year (around 2–3 books)
• Adding 1 extra rep per workout, 3x a week = 150+ extra reps a year

None of this feels dramatic on day one. But over time, it builds knowledge, strength and confidence - without relying on motivation alone.

Not intensity. Not perfection. Just consistency.

Looking at this made me pause and ask:
what’s one small thing you could do most days that would quietly add up by the end of the year?

15/11/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1EjzCKVs1d/?mibextid=wwXIfr

18/10/2025

Navigating neurodiversity and its impact on ourselves and others can be challenging to fully understand the behaviours and links.

This great representation shows the inter relationship of autism, ADHD - the two most diagnosed diverse thinking styles - and also the amazing linkage of these to being gifted. Its time we focused on the amazingness that neurodiversity can bring🤩💕

02/08/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/1Zjvt9naBT/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Most people think the brain controls everything—but your heart has a mind of its own.

The human heart contains approximately 40,000 neurons, forming a complex network known as the “heart-brain.”
What’s surprising is that the heart actually sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends back. These signals influence emotional processing, attention, memory, and even decision-making.

Scientists call this connection the heart-brain axis, and it’s one reason why emotional states like stress, gratitude, and empathy can physically affect your brain and body.

The heart isn’t just a pump—it’s a second command center.

30/05/2025

Being present is more powerful than being busy.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on what we call “success” - in life and in work.

Somewhere along the way, we started wearing exhaustion like a badge of honour.
A full diary became a sign you were doing something right.
And not getting back to people? Somehow acceptable.

But real success?
It’s not your job title.
It’s not your degree or your postcode.
It’s definitely not how many hours you work.

The biggest indicator of success is the quality of your relationships.
With your family.
Your friends.
And yes, your colleagues too.

It’s whether your kids feel seen.
Whether your friends know they can count on you.
Whether your team feels respected and supported.
Whether you show up - fully present -when it actually matters.

Moments like that… they’re not a bonus.
They are success.

I think we've drifted a bit.
We’ve started rewarding output over connection.
Urgency over empathy.
Busy over human.

But I believe we can do things differently.

A human-centred approach values people.
It means replying to the message.
Noticing when someone’s not okay.
Being there -even when it’s not convenient.

The people I admire most aren’t the busiest.
They’re the ones who lead with respect, and live with intention.

So maybe it's time to ask:

What does success really look like for you?

04/05/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/16Vad3TwLY/?mibextid=wwXIfr

The brain appears to directly influence the gut microbiome, as brain signals altered the composition of gut microbes in mice in as little as 2 hours. The finding strengthens the notion that communication along the gut-brain axis goes both ways.

It is clear from previous studies that gut microbes can influence brain function and mood, but whether the opposite was true – that the brain could alter the gut microbiome – was less apparent.

Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2478853-brain-signals-can-change-the-gut-microbiome-in-as-little-as-2-hours/

Image: IKELOS GmbH/Dr. Christopher B. Jackson/Science Photo Library

04/05/2025

Energy is currency. If it doesn’t bring you peace, profit or purpose, it might be costing you more than you think….

23/04/2025

Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away. It makes them stronger.

It’s called amplification — a psychological response where the more we try not to feel something… the more intense it becomes.

We’re taught to keep it together. Stay professional. Stay composed. But the truth is that emotions we ignore don’t disappear, they amplify.

Real resilience isn’t about avoidance.
It’s about awareness. And having the tools to process, not push down.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. Let’s start talking about what’s really going on beneath the surface.