23/11/2025
I think one of the things no one prepares you for when you leave the job is the grief.
Not just losing your career — but losing the social world that came with it.
When it’s taken from you, it isn’t just the uniform you hand back.
It’s the bond with the people you trusted with your life.
I worked with some absolutely brilliant officers. I would’ve stepped into harm’s way for any of them.
And now… I’m on the outside looking in.
(Not at their fault — it’s just the reality.)
I still care deeply about the QPS. I still want to help shift the path for injured officers.
But the truth is, I’m a civilian now.
Stuck in this weird space where I can’t unsee what I’ve seen, can’t switch off the instincts, can’t turn a blind eye…
but I also don’t have the powers anymore.
And it hits you at the strangest times.
Like today — driving to get groceries — and out of nowhere it’s like a punch to the chest and I’m crying my eyes out.
Most days I handle it.
Most days I’m okay with the fact that chapter’s over.
But today wasn’t one of those days.
So instead of sitting in it, I’m sharing a few of my favourite clips from over the years — to remind people that behind the uniform, we’re human.
Normal people.
Trying to do a job that sometimes makes you feel less than human.