11/09/2025
How to have an R U OK? conversation with a friend:
Choose a time and place where they’ll be comfortable opening up.
Ask in a way that works for you. You don’t have to use the exact
words, ‘are you OK?’.
You could even gently point out what you’ve noticed or mention
something that’s going on for them.
Set yourself a reminder to check in with them again soon.
You could say: “I’ve been thinking of you and wanted to know how you’ve been doing since we last chatted.”.You might need to repeat the above steps.
Your ongoing, genuine care will help them feel supported.
1 Ask R U OK?
Listen
Take what they say seriously, and don’t interrupt or rush them.
Don’t judge their experiences or reactions, but acknowledge their feelings.
Encourage them to explain by asking open-ended questions like: “How are you feeling about that?” or “How long have you felt that way?”.
Ask them what they’ve done in the past to manage similar situations.
Encourage them to think of something that could help them lighten the load.
If they’ve been feeling really down for an extended period of time or they seem to be really struggling, encourage them to seek professional support.
Offer to help them research appropriate services.
