Untangled Therapy and Training

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Untangled Therapy and Training is a specialised occupational therapy and mental health service located in Bunbury and servicing the southwest of Western Australia.

When the Grown-Ups Talked in Worried Voices.Lately, the house felt a little different.The TV stayed on longer.Phones buz...
27/03/2026

When the Grown-Ups Talked in Worried Voices.

Lately, the house felt a little different.

The TV stayed on longer.
Phones buzzed more.
And the grown-ups spoke in quiet, serious voices in the kitchen.

“…the war…”
“…prices going up…”
“…petrol again…”

A child sat nearby, colouring, but their ears were listening.

Not to every word.
Just to the feeling behind them.

Heavy. Tight. Worried.

Later, the child climbed onto the couch beside Mum.

“Mum?” they asked softly.

“Hmm?” Mum turned, gentle and present.

“Why do the grown-ups sound scared?”

Mum paused, not to hide the truth, but to hold it safely.

“There are big things happening in the world,” she said softly. “Sometimes grown-ups feel worried when things feel uncertain.”

The child looked down. “Are we going to be okay?”

Mum shifted closer, wrapping an arm around them.

“That’s a really important question,” she said gently.

The child leaned in.

“Right now, we are safe,” Mum said. “We have our home, our family, and each other. The grown-ups are thinking and planning to keep things steady.”

The child was quiet.

“I don’t like it when everyone sounds worried,” they admitted.

“That makes sense,” Mum said. “When voices sound worried, it can make our bodies feel worried too.”

She took their hand, resting it softly on her arm.

“Can you feel this?” she asked.

The child nodded.

“That’s me. I’m right here with you.”

They sat together, close enough to feel each other breathe.

“Do you know what helps when the world feels big?” Mum asked.

The child shook their head.

“We come back to what’s right here,” Mum said. “This moment. This couch. Us together.”

Outside, the world kept moving, busy, noisy, full of big conversations.

But right here, something felt steadier.

A warm arm.
A softer voice.
A reminder that even when the world feels big they didn’t have to carry it alone.

——————————————————————————————-

Reflection for parents:
Children don’t need all the answers, they need to feel safe, held, and gently guided back to what is steady and within reach.

When the Wind Got Loud:The wind started as a whisper.At first, it brushed gently past the windows, like it was just pass...
26/03/2026

When the Wind Got Loud:

The wind started as a whisper.

At first, it brushed gently past the windows, like it was just passing through.
But by evening, it had found its voice.

The house creaked softly. The trees outside bent and swayed. The sky had turned a heavy grey-green, and everything felt a little unfamiliar, a little uncertain.

On the couch, a child curled in close, knees tucked up tight.

“Mum, is it going to break the house?” they asked, their voice small.

Mum came and sat beside them, close enough that their shoulders touched.

“I don’t think so,” she said gently. “But I can see why it feels scary.”

The child leaned into her.

Another gust rattled the windows.

“I don’t like not knowing what will happen,” they whispered.

Mum nodded, wrapping an arm around them.
“I know. Not knowing can feel really big sometimes.”

They sat together, listening to the wind rise and fall
rise and fall, like a big, noisy breath.

After a moment, Mum spoke softly.
“Do you remember the big storms we used to have?”

A small nod.

“I remember hiding in the hallway,” the child said.

Mum smiled. “Yeah, we made it cosy, didn’t we?”

“And you let me bring all my teddies.”

“I did,” Mum said, brushing their hair back. “And what did we do while we waited?”

“We told stories,” the child said, a tiny smile returning.

Another gust came, but this time, the child stayed close, without pulling away.

“Can we do that again?” they asked.

Mum squeezed them gently. “Of course we can.”

So they made a little nest right there on the couch. Blankets tucked in, teddies gathered close, a soft torch glowing between them.

Outside, the wind was loud and wild, full of all the things they couldn’t control.

But inside, there was warmth.

There was a steady voice.
A gentle hand.
A feeling of being held.

And little by little, the unknown didn’t feel quite so big anymore.

——————————————————————————————

More often than not we can’t take away the unknown, especially in the world we find ourselves in at the moment.
For our children, being close, calm, and connected is what helps children feel safe within it.

Hi 👋 Tamara here, One of my beautiful friends and colleagues is currently completing her PhD 👇Sarah is looking to better...
26/03/2026

Hi 👋 Tamara here,

One of my beautiful friends and colleagues is currently completing her PhD 👇

Sarah is looking to better understand the experiences of caregivers of children with additional developmental needs, particularly:
• How clear expectations of the caregiving role feel,
• How fulfilling or satisfying that role is,
• How caregiving fits alongside everything else in daily life.

If this is something that relates to you, your voice would be so valuable in helping shape a better understanding of caregiver experiences in Australia.

This is a student-led research project as part of a Doctor of Philosophy.

https://www151.griffith.edu.au/redcap/surveys/?s=4RT3XKAW37HE87NH

Anger is often a secondary emotion, for both us and our kids.It is often the one that shows up loudest.The one that gets...
19/03/2026

Anger is often a secondary emotion, for both us and our kids.

It is often the one that shows up loudest.
The one that gets expressed quickest.

But underneath anger, there’s usually something more vulnerable:

For our kids, it might be
“I’m overwhelmed”
“I don’t understand”
“I feel out of control”

And for us, it might be
“This is too much”
“I’m worried I’m getting it wrong”
“I feel stretched beyond capacity”

Two nervous systems, both trying to cope.

When we start to see anger this way, as the feeling we see (and feel) first but not the whole picture, it softens things, just a little.

This doesn’t mean we ignore behaviour or drop boundaries.

But it does mean we look beyond the anger and respond to what’s driving it, not just what we can see.





We prepare women for birth.But we rarely prepare them for the transition into motherhood.There is actually a word for th...
15/03/2026

We prepare women for birth.
But we rarely prepare them for the transition into motherhood.

There is actually a word for this transition: matrescence.

Just like adolescence is the transition from child to adult, matrescence describes the profound physical, emotional, psychological and social changes that occur when someone becomes a mother.

During this time, many women experience shifts in identity, relationships, priorities, hormones, sleep and confidence.

It can be joyful, overwhelming, beautiful and exhausting often all at once.

For a long time, these changes have been misunderstood or dismissed as simply ‘coping with a new baby.’ But matrescence recognises that becoming a mother is a major developmental transition that deserves understanding, support and compassion.

When we understand matrescence, it creates space to recognise that many of the emotions and challenges that arise in early motherhood are part of a significant life transition.

Support during this time matters.
Because when mothers are supported, families thrive.





And then we had babies.And suddenly the cracks showed.Matrescence has a way of bringing every old rule to the surface.Yo...
04/03/2026

And then we had babies.

And suddenly the cracks showed.

Matrescence has a way of bringing every old rule to the surface.

You may be exhausted…but asking for help feels weak.
You may be feeling overwhelmed…but you should be grateful.
You may be touched out…but good mums cope.
You may feel lonely…but everyone else seems to be managing.

So many of us learnt that resilience meant self-sufficiency.
That love meant self-sacrifice.
That being strong meant coping quietly.

Of course early parenthood feels confronting.
Your nervous system was wired, over years, to equate independence with safety.
To equate competence with belonging.
To equate “I’ve got this” with worth.

So when you need support, real, practical, emotional support, it doesn’t just feel inconvenient.

It can feel unsafe.

That does not mean you are weak.
It means your system is doing what it learnt to do.

Matrescence isn’t asking you to become someone new.
It is gently exposing the places where survival became identity.

You are not failing because you can’t do it alone.
You’re human in a season that was never meant to be done in isolation.
And unlearning "cope quietly”
might be some of the bravest work we do, for ourselves, and for the children watching.





Many of us were raised to do the ‘right thing’.Be helpful. Be accommodating. Don’t make a fuss. Keep the peace.And often...
28/02/2026

Many of us were raised to do the ‘right thing’.
Be helpful. Be accommodating. Don’t make a fuss. Keep the peace.

And often, we became very good at it.

But that conditioning doesn’t disappear in adulthood. It can follow us into parenting, relationships, friendships, and work. We override our own needs. We push through exhaustion. We say yes when we mean no. We try to manage everyone else’s emotions while quietly suppressing our own.

Over time, that can take a toll, not just emotionally, but physiologically. Chronic self-silencing and over-functioning can keep the nervous system in a constant state of strain.

In family life, this can look like striving to respond perfectly, fearing we’ve ‘got it wrong’ or feeling guilty for needing space.

Children don’t need perfection. Research consistently highlights the importance of attuned, regulated caregiving and that includes adults who model boundaries, repair, and self-awareness.

Taking a pause.
Stepping away to breathe.
Saying, “I need a moment.”

That isn’t selfish. It’s sustainable.

Caring for yourself isn’t the opposite of being a ‘good parent’. It’s often what makes steady, connected parenting possible.

When our nervous system is stretched, it stops sorting.The laundry feels as pressing as connection.The email feels as fr...
26/02/2026

When our nervous system is stretched, it stops sorting.
The laundry feels as pressing as connection.
The email feels as fragile as a moment with your child.

But not everything is glass.

Some things can wait.
Some things can bend.
Some things will bounce.

This is just a quiet reminder: you don’t have to hold everything with the same intensity.

Protect what’s fragile.
Let the rest soften.

Have you heard about the rubber ball and glass ball analogy?It’s the idea that the things we are holding each day aren’t...
26/02/2026

Have you heard about the rubber ball and glass ball analogy?

It’s the idea that the things we are holding each day aren’t all the same.

Some are rubber.
They can drop.
They bounce.

- The laundry that waits unfolded.
- An email answered tomorrow.
- A to-do list that spills into the next day.

They may feel urgent
But they aren’t fragile.

And then there are the glass balls.

- A conversation you slow down for
- Repairing after a hard moment.
- The look you and your partner share across a messy kitchen.
The small, ordinary pieces of connection that quietly shape a childhood.

Those don’t bounce.

The hard part?
Everything can feel like glass when we are overwhelmed.

But it isn’t.

It is okay to let a few rubber balls fall so that we can protect the glass ones.

Tamara here 👋Parenting doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all manual because every age (and every child) looks different....
24/02/2026

Tamara here 👋
Parenting doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all manual because every age (and every child) looks different.

Some days you’re guiding big feelings in tiny bodies, other days you’re staying present with a teen who it may seem like they barely want to talk.

No matter the season, the goal is the same: connection, understanding, and steady presence.

I’d love to hear from you.
which season are you in right now?

When children don’t listen, it can activate more than frustration.It can stir beliefs about respect, worth, and being he...
22/02/2026

When children don’t listen, it can activate more than frustration.

It can stir beliefs about respect, worth, and being heard, especially if our own childhood experiences shaped how compliance was handled.

Children’s brains are still developing impulse control, attention flexibility and emotional regulation. That doesn’t make the moment easy. It simply means it isn’t personal.

Parenting often brings our own history to the surface.
Awareness of that process can create space for a different response.





Drop-off brings up so much more than we expect.For our children.And for us.After my last post, I heard from parents who ...
21/02/2026

Drop-off brings up so much more than we expect.

For our children.
And for us.

After my last post, I heard from parents who are holding the boundary through tears…
and parents who are sometimes getting back in the car and going home.

Both are exhausting.

Both require thoughtfulness.

Both can come from a place of attunement.

The question isn’t “Did I make them go?”
It’s “What state was their nervous system in and what builds capacity long term?”

For some children, that’s consistency and repetition.

For some children, that’s flexibility and gradual exposure.

There isn’t one right way.
There is only responding to the child in front of you.

If this season feels activating for you too, you’re not alone.
Transitions light up attachment systems, theirs and ours.

I’d love to know, what has drop-off looked like in your house this term? 🤍

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U7 135 Victoria Street
Bunbury, WA
6230

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