08/02/2019
Part of my journey is mental health.
As some of you may know, part of getting on top of my mental health involved going to rehab last year to beat my alcohol addiction.
I am now at 209 days without alcohol, but each and every day is a struggle. Managing my anxiety every single day is hard. I have really bad days where all I really want to do is drink because a little voice inside my head tells me if I do, everything will be ok.
But with the help of my psychologist I am learning what my triggers are and what I need to do to dig myself out of my hole or not get hooked (like a metaphorical fish) to things that would set me off in the past. Don’t get me wrong, I am still prone to my meltdowns and tantrums and just recently I had a tantrum because I couldn’t find the cake tin I needed and it was the end of the world. But it all worked out in the end and I got through it without a drink and then went to see my favourite artist in concert that night.
But that is what anxiety does. It slaps you in the face when you least expect it!!
Anxiety is a big fat bitch and I hate her, but she is real and the more I acknowledge she is there, the easier she is to handle. I have other things I do to help me manage her - exercise is one of those things. Medication helps but it isn’t the solution. It does keep me relatively balanced, but sometimes anxiety even gets the better of the meds.
Life can be hard, life can be cruel but it is how we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off that matters the most.
