The NeuroSpicy Therapist

07/02/2026

Some helpful things I remind myself about my ND brain .... maybe yours too??

02/02/2026

Some days, this work is heavy. And this is one of those times when I’ve been of two minds about whether to add my voice to the public dialogue.

Trigger warning:
This post refers to the deaths of children, violence, disability, and su***de.

I’ve been sitting with how — and whether — to speak about the recent murder–su***de in Perth. Part of me is cautious — of oversimplifying something complex, of contributing to harm, of speaking into a space that is already raw and polarised.
And another part of me knows that staying silent can also cause harm — particularly when Autistic children and disabled lives are being spoken about in ways that risk erasing their/our humanity.

So I’m choosing care over certainty, and clarity over silence.

In the wake of recent events, much of the commentary has fallen into two camps.

One names the immense pressure parents of Autistic children and children with high support needs can experience — the exhaustion, isolation, and the impact of systems that withdraw or fragment support.

The other names something that must be said clearly and without softening: the killing of a child, any child, is murder. It is not consensual. It is not mercy. And no one has the right to decide that another person’s life is not worth living.

These positions are often being framed as if they are in opposition.
They are not.

We can — and must — hold a firm, unambiguous stance:
the murder of a child is never acceptable, never understandable, and never excusable.
Disability does not diminish a person’s right to life, safety, or dignity.

At the same time, we do ourselves — and vulnerable families — a disservice if we refuse to look honestly at the systems that leave parents unsupported, overwhelmed, and carrying more than any one family should have to carry alone. Naming systemic failure is not the same as excusing violence.

We do not need to soften our language about murder in order to advocate for better support for families of Autistic children.
And we do not need to minimise systemic neglect in order to assert, unequivocally, that Autistic lives matter.

Both truths can exist together.

This moment calls for:

- fierce protection of Autistic and disabled lives
- refusal to romanticise or reframe violence
- grief for the children who were killed
- and renewed commitment to building systems that do not abandon families under pressure.

Some days, this work is heavy because the stakes are high.
And because clarity matters.

I offer this not to close conversation, but to slow it down.

30/10/2024

Why Thinking Takes Time: The Brainy Benefits of Extra Connections 🧠

Autistic brains often keep more neural connections due to less "neural pruning" (the brain's way of trimming unused pathways). This means our brains have to process through more routes to find the best or 'right' response, which can slow things down but allows for richer, deeper thinking and unique perspectives. So, if we take a bit longer to respond, it's not about intelligence—it's about taking the scenic route in our minds! 🌟

10/04/2024

In the context of infinite universes, it is reasonable to expect Grogu may have said this in at least one of them, especially if Autism Month was a thing in that universe!

09/04/2024

Embrace uniqueness and inclusivity over conformity and create an environment where we can all be our authentic selves.

07/04/2024

Each April I'm ambivalent about world Autism Month.

Ostensibly focused on raising awareness, acceptance and inclusion, we still have a long way to go in terms of representation, understanding, and access.

The advocate in my wants to educate and break down stereotypes and stigma. The revolutionary demands more. This month I'll let them both loose :) and share the voices of others in the Autistic community. Let's see if anything has changed by May!!

07/04/2024

11/04/2023

I love that Chloe's book is shining its light all over the world, and that it is being recognised with award nominations and is in top books lists. And in Autism SOCIAL ACTION month. (I know it is officially Awareness month, but awareness just doesn't go far enough! We can reasonably expect much more than awareness by now!!). Congratulations Chloe Hayden!

Number 50!
What an absolute honour to be listed at number 50 in the Dymocks 101. Thank you thank you thank you 💛

05/03/2023

Sometimes we want to be beige, same as everyone else. Even when inside we know we are unique, sparkly, colourful beings. Being beige just to fit in with the herd is over-rated, and camouflaging in the long term is linked to poor mental health outcomes :( Maybe see if your beige herd can appreciate your uniqueness, or if the herd has other sparkly, colourful beings who are also in beige camouflage and would like to be more themselves. Or maybe find a new herd where it is OK to be any colour in the rainbow!

26/02/2023

No, we're not. In the same way you can't be "a little bit" pregnant, you can't be "a little bit" autistic/on the spectrum. Lots of people have some of the traits of autism, but let's be clear - it is a different way of neurologically experiencing the world. It involves differences in social and communication, thinking styles and patterns, sensory experiences and a whole range of other things.
It is also disrespectful to suggest this. When we say it, we are essentially minimising the experience of autistic people.

20/02/2023

SO pleased The Guideline for supporting autistic children and their families has released.
Whilst it gives recommendations, and has no power to insist practitioners use a Neurodiversity Affirming (and trauma informed, strengths based and inclusive) approach, it provides a strong foundation for autistic people to advocate for the respectful and affirming services they deserve.
And if your practitioner isn't familiar with Neurodiversity Affirming practice nor willing to undertake the training needed? Walk away! Use this document to point out the evidence that non-affirming practice and the deficit based models are harmful, and not for you or your child !
(And a shout out to all the other clients, parents and practitioners who also made submissions to help bring this Guideline to life!)

19/02/2023

Firstly, let's be clear: LOTS of people can't or don't "do" empathy. Any perusal of social media will reveal that!
Secondly, this myth is an important one to dispel as it couldn't be further from the reality. Some autistic people have difficulty reading social cues, or understanding someone else's experience ("putting themselves in someone else's shoes"). This may appear as if they don't care. It is more likely they are unsure what is expected, are anxious because of this, and so are protecting themselves.
Other autistic people are highly empathic, to the extent that they are overwhelmed by the emotions themselves. This may have them reacting strongly, loudly or emotionally in order to cope, which is unfortunately sometimes interpreted as attention seeking or having a 'meltdown'. Alternatively, they may try and suppress the extent of their feelings, and end up accused of being cold or uncaring.
So let's be clear: autistic people have a diverse capacity for empathy, pretty much like the rest of humanity.
(And then there is the super interesting subjec of "double empathy", but that is a topic for another day.....!)