Cape Breton's Women For Sobriety Group

05/07/2025

This is the idea 💞

They told us drinking was the answer. That it was the key to confidence, connection, celebration.
But for many of us, it became the thing that quietly pulled us apart.

Choosing to live sober is not about missing out. It is not about punishment or restriction.
It is about finally seeing clearly.
It is about stepping into the life alcohol promised but never delivered.

Sobriety is not the easy path. It is the bold one.
It means facing your thoughts instead of numbing them.
It means choosing early mornings over hazy nights.
It means reclaiming your time, your presence, your peace.

Living sober is one of the most powerful things I have ever done.
Sobriety gave me my life back.

And in a world that pushes alcohol at every turn, choosing sobriety is the ultimate act of rebellion.

04/26/2022

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
William Shakespeare

“We are no one else. We are ourselves. We must be that, with no regrets, if we wish to be happy.”
Donna Goddard

“Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to get you to the right place.”
Mandy Hale

#5 I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

Karen's Thoughts

The WFS New Life program, and especially Statement #5 opened my eyes to how I was living life for everyone else. Over time, the child I once was easily morphed into the thoughts, ideas, aspirations, and goals of those around me. Desperately trying to fit in, I quieted my own thoughts and feelings which left me as a version who fit others. Who I was disappeared and alcohol easily became an emotional escape mechanism.

Learning my own thoughts in sobriety felt overwhelming at first, but quickly became a journey of discovery. Exploring what I thought of something was like building an updated version of myself. Writing thoughts in a journal or even simply jotting down quotes that I related to was exciting and refreshing. My outlook shifted and I began to find my voice. I even learned how to say no without regret and the learning continues every day. It’s no wonder why our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. made Statement #5 the center of our program.

In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “Since we no longer choose to drink or use as an escape, repairing our sense of self becomes essential. We can do this by learning new tools for changing our thinking, to help guide us into a rewarding sobriety.” Each day this week, examine your thoughts. Do your thoughts bring you deeper into sobriety and recovery or further away from it? Is there a part of you ready to be uncovered? What tools do you use to create and live your authentic life?

Hugzzz
Karen

Dee's Thoughts

Hi 4C Women,
I say very often that I have found my voice and I know it was found through the WFS program and especially Statement #5. Before recovery, what I thought of myself was not exactly self-esteem building or empowering. It was challenging enough to introduce myself as a competent woman at a meeting yet to add more positive adjectives/nouns to describe and define myself seemed an impossibility.
These questions helped me to think about how I see myself:
What do I do consistently well?
What are my strongest traits/characteristics?
What do I respect about myself?
How do I feel about speaking my voice?
I feel empowered when…
One of my favorite songs about self-realization is “Here I Stand” by Karen Drucker on her “The Heart of Healing” album. I listened to it many times and shared it with my WFS group as it truly expresses my journey to living Statement #5. I emailed her letting her know how much this song represented me and WFS with its emotional and spiritual growth, empowerment, and belief in self. She was happy that I shared it with other WFS 4C women and hoped I would continue to do so.

“Here I Stand.”
Here I Stand Words & Music: Karen Drucker & Sloan Wainwright This song was written with another one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Sloan Wainwright. We got together and talked about what was going on in our lives and realized that we were both finally feeling that we had let go of the old stories of not enough, and giving our power away. This song is a celebration for anyone who is willing to stand up and claim their power.

“I was a little girl who never spoke her mind.
I wouldn’t rock the boat, I couldn’t cross the line,
but every step that I’ve taken, every pain, every tear,
has led me to the woman who's standing right here.
I got so tired of giving myself away,
always looking for someone to tell me I was okay.
I got to a place where I could trust my heart,
it was the perfect place for a brand- new start.
Chorus: Here I stand in my power.
Here I stand in my power.
Here I stand in my power.
Here I stand. (Here I stand) Here I stand.
I am a warrior. I am invincible.
I am as strong as steel and I am capable,
and I am soft as a feather light and free,
and the truth that I know, healing begins with me.
Chorus Bridge: Here I stand. Here I stand. Here I stand.
With all that I’ve been through, there ain’t nothin’ I can’t do...
Chorus

©TayToones Music BMI 2015 & Derby Disc Music SESAC From Karen’s CD: “Joy In Our Hearts” and “The Heart of Healing 2"
So empowering and so … me from not speaking my mind growing up to the woman standing in her power and knowing that healing began with me!

Bonded in loving ourselves, healing ourselves, and being empowered to define ourselves in a positive light, Dee


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04/04/2022

Honey Child

03/30/2022

I love and have posted the "caterpillar quote" hundreds of times, because it speaks so truthfully to what's like going through the midlife years. There comes a point in life when who we've been doesn't line up with who we're meant to be and we become the process of dissolving and re-creating. It's a magnificent process, albeit painful and terrifying. The end result, however, is beautiful.
When I saw this post today, I had to share. It's oh, so true!
Butterfly quote: Just when the butterfly thought her world had ended, she became a butterfly.

03/28/2022

“Sometimes when in a dark place you think you’ve been buried
when actually you’ve been planted.”
Christine Caine

“Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.”
Janice Trachtman

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”
Brené Brown

#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my well-being.
I accept the responsibility.

Karen's Thoughts

A New Life. What does that mean? Is it really new… or is it the same life? At the beginning of sobriety and recovery, I would have answered that it was the same life and not anything new. After all, I was the same person, with the only difference being that I was sober. But it didn’t feel or look new, it just felt empty. I was needing more, and opened up to learning, absorbing information like a sponge.

Unknowingly, my brain was just beginning to heal. Alcohol negatively affects the body in any number of ways (a quick google search is eye-opening) but it takes a heavy toll on how the brain uses and processes information. Women are more vulnerable than men with regards to Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) and can develop cirrhosis, heart damage, or have increased risks of immune problems with fewer years of heavy drinking than men. Still, I didn’t feel any different (denial) but everyone else saw and felt the downhill trend. It was time for a change.

Sobriety and Statement #1 in action create a New Life, and today I feel and know it is a NEW LIFE! My life is beautifully felt, experienced, and lived. Lasting friendships, deeper family relationships with bright days unfold. There is an underlying layer of contentment even during the difficult days. This life is NEW. I feel connected, inspired, and grateful. I feel value, balance, and love. Living...growing…experiencing life…. yes, it is a beautiful NEW 4C life!

Hugzzz
Karen

Dee's Thoughts

Dear 4C Women,

I rebelled at first to take responsibility for my New Life. I eventually retired my “blame everyone else for my life" crown. It was challenging as that crown felt so comfortable on my head. In learning to take responsibility, I felt so empowered, in charge. I wasn’t expecting that. For me to accept responsibility for my choices felt scary. To admit I made mistakes and unhealthy choices meant I really had to accept Statement #1 in totality.

Little did I realize I was exchanging fear for freedom, guilt, and shame to learning major life lessons that helped me create problem-solving skills rather than automatic reactions, life-changing coping skills, and surviving the acceptance of my mistakes. Even now, when I question my decisions, I realize I am in a better space and it’s due to acceptance of Statement #1. I truly did not believe that taking charge of my life would empower me. I am so glad I persevered and learned a whole new perspective of what being in charge meant for me. I have been in recovery for a long time and yet I feel new each day and privileged to even think I might be a part of someone else’s survival guide as quoted by Brené Brown. What’s beautiful about her quote is that as we practice Statement #1, we each become a gift to others.

Writing Monday Thoughts is part of giving back for me. It is letting others know and understand that we are together, we are bonded in helping each other. Perhaps that is part of my empowerment story. It is bringing hope to others that it is possible and it is! The life-threatening problem that once had me has been exchanged for a New Life. Even when I feel unsure at times, I accept that I know it is temporary, that I no longer react impulsively in a way that might harm me but in the assurance that I will survive with the knowledge and support of my 4C sisters. What a gift, what a joy, and what a New Life!

Considerations:
Who is part of your support system?
What are the new coping skills you have acquired?
What is your gift to others?
Do you allow yourself to feel your feelings and learn from them?
What have you learned about yourself as you practice Statement #1?
What are your current struggles in creating your New Life?
What is the best part of your New Life?
I hope these questions will help you work through the challenges and rewards of creating your New Life.

Bonded in empowering change and supporting each other’s recovery journey, Dee


The Creative Crew is hosting another sale of handmade items and blooming specials!

Save the date to be able to shop at the Blooming Sale, June 10-11, 2022.

If you participated in the 2021 Conference Auction or the Creative Crew Holiday Sale in November, your registration is still valid! More information will be coming out soon!




“We are capable and competent, caring and compassionate, always willing to help another, bonded together in overcoming our addictions. — WFS Motto

03/21/2022

“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” ~~Maya Angelou
“Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create.” ~~Oprah Winfrey
“Regrets only apply when we don’t learn from a situation. No sense looking back; look forward with new knowledge and no regret.” ~~Catherine Pulsifer
________________________________________
#9 The past is gone forever.
No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman.
________________________________________
For some women, myself included, fear of the unknown kept me in an unhealthy cycle and locked into active addiction. It seemed like an endless circle of emotional turmoil, then an attempt to escape the pain and right back into chaos with even more turmoil. It was an exhausting way to live and it took a heavy toll. Yet sobriety and the WFS Statements, in particular Statement #9, open the door to balance while leaving fear and regret behind.
I defined myself by the past, and with the clarity of sobriety, I began to open up to possibility with Statement #9. Instead of beating myself with regret, I examined past moments with today’s eyes. What I found was growth. When I learned something from a past painful situation, I stopped defining myself by it. This was a new way to process information and I began to heal parts of myself that had been hurting for a very long time.
Understanding that my old views kept me in a victim position, I looked for ways to reframe, adjust and learn. The weight of many years of suffering began to dissipate and I felt a fresh sense of invigorating freedom. Breaking the cycle of trauma and pain opens a portal for purpose and possibility. As our WFS Program booklet states “By releasing the past, the present comes alive and we can experience life with fullness and hope.”
Hugzzz
Karen
________________________________________
Dear 4C Women,
Every word Karen has written resonates with me, especially lifting the weight of many years of suffering by understanding and changing my internal dialogue. I could feel that weight lift as I recall the moment when I realized that I was victimizing myself by living in the past rather than healing from it. The self-punishment I placed on myself was relentless. I am grateful for Statement #9. It became my favorite Statement and literally changed my outlook which impacted my recovery in a phenomenal way.
If I had to describe it in one word, it would be “freedom.” I never imagined that I could look at past regrets and immediately tell myself that it can’t be changed and instead ask what I can do for myself today, what life lesson have I learned to use in the present? That is my current self-talk. No more wasting precious time by heaping pain on my heart but leaving the past where it belongs and bringing the empowering life- lessons into the present. People talk about red flags and that is one big lesson I learned from the past as healing isn’t only about our actions, our behaviors but also how we have been treated. It’s part of the healing process to recognize hurt comes in from others. There are times when I reflect on the past and feel sad or angry yet it is a temporary reflection and I believe a healthy one. It is a reminder that I have worked darn hard on healing and creating my New Life. I recognize when I am being treated in a disrespectful manner, begin feeling unheard, invisible, and less than. What a relief to know this and respond accordingly to protect my well-being. I am a new woman!
I encourage each of you to forgive and heal from your past, relish your ability to learn life lessons and grow from them, set boundaries for those who tend to keep bringing your past into the present to cause you to hurt, know you are worthy of a New Life and cherish the woman you are and are becoming.
Bonded in healing and nurturing your well-being, Dee

02/17/2022

We can be out own worst enemy for sure, I watched this trailer, you can too. I still haven't seen the whole story, but I will

My Name Was Bette: The Life and Death of an Alcoholic. This 58-minute documentary examines alcoholism in women by tracing the development and progression o...

01/26/2022

With

01/20/2022

TO THE WOMAN WHO THINKS SHE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

To the woman who looks around and wonders why everyone else is so much more capable, so much stronger, so much more ambitious than her.

To the woman who thinks everyone else is blazing a fiery path through this thing we call life, while she limps behind, barely getting through the days.

Somewhere, another woman is looking at you thinking exactly the same.

You see, we all look like we’re kinda nailing it, from the outside in.

We all look ‘together’ sometimes.
Catch us on the right day and hey, we look like we have it all.
Because guess what, we learned to look that way a long time ago.
We learned to hide our struggles behind a smile and whack on that mask every day.

And actually, we are doing each other a favour when we show up,
just as we are,
warts and all,
late,
flustered,
human.

What we really need to see is that we are all the same.
We all struggle.
We all fall apart.

Some days we nail it, other days we get nailed.

By hiding our own weaknesses, fears, worries, we give them more power.
If you let it out, shine a light on it all, it becomes so much less scary, funny even…
And goodness only knows we need to laugh.

So, to the woman who wonders if she is good enough…

If this is you.
Yes you are.
You always were.

You don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectation of how you should be coping.
You are human, flawed, wonderful, miraculous, loveable, loved.

I see you,

Now do me a favour and go see all the others too.
Spread the word, we are good enough, just as we are.

Donna Ashworth

Art by Holly Wilmeth Holly Wilmeth

10/27/2021

Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.



https://womenforsobriety.org/