Carla Da Costa, Coolangatta (2026)

02/06/2026

The marriage ended.

But did the patterns?

Did they?

Really?

✨ Comment AFTERGLOW below to join my newsletter and be the first to hear about AFTERGLOW: The Reinvention Era coming soon 🪩

01/06/2026

Some marriages don’t just end relationships.
They end versions of people.

Not because you’re weak.
Not because you failed.

But because over time many people adapt to survive inside the marriage.

They become the caretaker.
The peacekeeper.
The organiser.
The emotional support system.
The one holding everything together.
They lie.
Sometimes they minimise.
Sometimes they stay silent.
Sometimes they betray themselves.

And somewhere along the way, they lose connection with who they really are to keep the marriage together.

I think this is one of the least talked about parts of divorce.
Not the ending.
The identity that quietly disappeared long before it.

The version of you built around surviving it.
The version of you that forgot what looked like self-worth because everyone else’s needs came first.

Which is why healing is only part of the journey.

Eventually life asks a different question:

Who are you now that you’re no longer surviving this?

Because rebuilding after divorce isn’t just about recovering from what happened.

It’s about consciously creating who you become next.

So you don’t repeat the same pain.

For yourself.
For your children.
For your future.

✨ Tell me below..

What part of yourself have you needed to face head on since your divorce?

27/05/2026

So many people lose themselves inside marriages. Tick the box of any of these? 👆🏼

It happens not because they are weak or bad people even.

➡️ Because survival and keeping the marriage together at any cost became more important than self-worth, truth and love.

They learned to:
stay quiet,
manage moods,
manage truth,
avoid conflict,
walk on eggshells,
and suppress their own needs just to keep the relationship functioning.

And over time?

They stopped recognising themselves.

This is one of the most painful parts of marriage breakdown that people rarely talk about.

The grief is not just about losing the relationship.

It’s about realising how much of yourself you abandoned trying to hold it together.

It’s about who you became in the marriage now that you look back.

If this carousel hit home for you, you are not alone.

DM me the number below that matches your circumstance if you would like professional support to reinvent and rebuild:

1️⃣ If you lost yourself inside your marriage and want help rebuilding.

2️⃣ If you’re newly divorced and struggling with identity loss.

3️⃣ If you’re still in the marriage and feel emotionally stuck.

Reinvention is possible.
And it gets to be beautiful, exciting, and wonderful.

25/05/2026

There really is no winner when these marriages end because often the personal cost of what they went through was so high.

The marriages and families everyone envies.
The successful family.
The beautiful home.
The couple hosting Christmas.
The nice house.
The life that looks perfect from the outside.

And yet underneath?

Self-abandonment.
People-pleasing.
Emotional suppression.

Emotional abuse.
Keeping-the-peace behaviours.
Avoidance.
Resentment.
Disconnection.
Lies.

Affairs.
Years of unhealthy dynamics being normalised.

These marriages often survive because both people have slowly disconnected from themselves.

That’s the real tragedy.

➡️ And when the marriage finally ends?

People are often left rebuilding not just their life…

but their entire identity.

Because somewhere along the way,
they became someone they no longer recognise just to keep the relationship together ❤️‍🩹

And often the children from these homes carry the emotional impact too.

If this post hit home for you DM me:
1️⃣ If you’re in a marriage like this and feel you can’t leave, feel stuck from leaving.
2️⃣ If the marriage ended and you’re trying to rebuild yourself.
3️⃣ If you’re grieving and processing who you became inside the relationship, grieving what you can now see playing out with your children and want support healing.

Professional coaching and support can help you rebuild emotionally, mentally and personally after a marriage

22/05/2026

Most programs give you a bunch of modules and wish you luck for you to find your own way through!

AfterGlow gives you a pathway, a system, and a coach in your corner FOR LIFE.

This is a lifetime membership.
You pay once and you get forever access to the content, the group coaching calls and me.
No expiry date.
No finding your way through alone when a challenging season hits again.

I’m not going to lock you out and expect you to pay again ever.

Inside you’ll find over 70 hours of recorded coaching covering everything the other programs skip over.

• The emotional healing.
• The practical rebuilding.
• The spiritual lessons hidden inside the pain.
• The rejection and not good enough wounds that run deeper than the relationship itself.
• The financial lack mindset that creeps in after.

• And yes, how to actually deal with an abusive, manipulative, I’m going to keep lying to you ex while you’re trying to move your life forward.

Weekly group coaching calls so you’re never stuck in your own head for long.

This is the step by step system for women who are done surviving the end of a relationship and ready to build something completely new on the other side of it.

If this is your season, DM me AfterGlow.

19/05/2026

Could be you. Could be him. Men walk this journey too.

1️⃣ She’s no longer available for people who are allergic to self-awareness. She doesn’t hate them. She doesn’t need to. She just quietly removes them from her world and keeps moving.

2️⃣ She stopped explaining herself to people who were only ever going to use her words against her. No arguments. No justifications. Just silence and distance, and she’s learned those are two of the most powerful things she owns.

3️⃣ Her life was already full before anyone else arrived. She built that on purpose, piece by piece, after the version of her life she thought she’d have fell apart. That’s not a flex. That’s what becoming yourself actually looks like.

4️⃣ She doesn’t chase anymore. Not for love. Not for answers. Not for someone to finally choose her consistently. She chose herself instead, and the whole dynamic of her life shifted.

5️⃣ Her peace matters more to her than being perceived as a good sport. Not everyone gets through the door anymore. That used to feel like loneliness. Now it feels like freedom from unhealthy.

6️⃣ She’s warm. She’s open. She’s feminine and soft. She’s emotionally present. And she does none of that from a place of need. There’s a version of love she used to accept that she wouldn’t even recognise as love now.

7️⃣ She trusts herself. Not perfectly. Not without the odd wobble. But enough. And that one shift rewrote every single relationship in her life.

She exists. She’s real. And she didn’t get here by accident — she got here by doing the work, usually in the most painful season of her life.

This is the work.
For women, for men.
Post-separation, rebuilding, ready to become someone you actually recognise and like again.

Afterglow is the program. 1:1 coaching is the container if you want to go deeper. Both are in the link in bio.

17/05/2026

Read below ✨

It’s healthy and necessary to go through this stage. You and sometimes even your kids if it was incredibly unhealthy and toxic.

The nervous system needs to go through a recalibration of “this was wrong” so that the neural pathway is severed and we never repeat or attract a shade of it again. This is step 1️⃣

The anger.
The shame.
The disgust.
The grief.
The realisation.

Within you and projected towards you serves a powerful purpose.

Not because we want to stay emotionally trapped there forever…

but because truth matters to our nervous system when it goes through a reset.

And honestly?

A lot of people confuse emotional bypassing with being “high vibration.”

Suppressing anger does not make you healed.

Avoiding truth does not make you peaceful.

Rushing to forgiveness does not make you spiritually evolved, zen, Buddha like or a f*cking yogi.

Sometimes it simply means:
you skipped the lesson.
You’re bypassing yourself.

You disconnected from your own truth to get back to comfort faster.

And when we bypass the lesson…
we repeat the pattern again in time without meaning too.

Because your nervous system has not actually integrated the wisdom yet.

Real healing is being willing to fully see:
what happened,
what it cost you,
what you tolerated,
what you did.
your shadow not just theirs,
what you abandoned within yourself,
and who you became inside the relationship.

Not to stay stuck there.

But so you never go back there again.

We don’t stay in resentment.
We process through it.

That’s the difference.

That’s the work we’re doing inside Self-Respect Shift ✨

A private activation for men and women rebuilding:
self-trust,
self-respect,
emotional maturity,
clarity,
standards
and nervous system safety after unhealthy relationships.

Doors are still open throughout May.

Comment SHIFT and I’ll send you the details.

14/05/2026

Grateful for the ways I was seemingly mistreated and mishandled. Knowing I wasn’t the only one. I’ve taken it anyway and it’s really grown me for the work I’ve been put here to do.

Join The Self-Respect Shift.
Open til May 17th.
Join us for the remainder of May and binge the first few days content to catch up with us.

How much do you want to leave emotional abuse and what somebody did to you behind?

Comment SHIFT below for further details.

13/05/2026

It’s a next level of empowered strength to heal after someone has treated you in this way. Even when you’re the one who slipped away.

To carry the confusion, heartbreak, anger, grief, nervous system exhaustion and self-doubt…

and to rebuild and heal anyway.

That’s real strength.

To choose yourself even when someone has behaved terribly and not apologised or acknowledged the pain they’ve caused others.

That’s the work we’re doing inside Self-Respect Shift ✨

The activation has begun, but doors remain open throughout May.

Comment SHIFT and I’ll send you the details.

11/05/2026

Except for that hooded eye lid that I’m trying to hold off from needing surgery one day!!! 👁️ 🫠

Everything else…we’re good!

Link in bio to find my latest activation, book and coaching methods to explore my professional support.

Carla Da Costa

02/06/2026

01/06/2026

27/05/2026

25/05/2026

22/05/2026

19/05/2026

17/05/2026

14/05/2026

13/05/2026

11/05/2026

Address

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share