Andrea Walmsley Counselling

23/10/2025

20/10/2025

Someone cuts you off in traffic. The queue moves slowly. A partner forgets to do something they promised. Small things — yet they can feel surprisingly big when you’re already carrying stress. When life feels heavy or unresolved issues are simmering beneath the surface, it takes very little for annoyance to be triggered. A small irritation can suddenly feel overwhelming because it taps into something deeper — frustration, hurt, or a sense of being unheard or undervalued.

Annoyance is adrenaline with nowhere to go. It’s your body’s stress response — a rush of energy preparing you to act. But when there’s nothing to fix or no safe outlet for that energy, it turns inward, creating tension and emotional strain. Over time, this can quietly wear down your sense of calm and connection, affecting both your wellbeing and your relationships.

Counselling can help by creating space to explore what sits underneath those feelings. Together, you can unpack the patterns and triggers that make certain situations feel bigger than they appear. Understanding why something provokes such a strong response helps you to approach it differently. Through awareness, self-compassion, and practical strategies, you can learn to respond in ways that protect your peace rather than disturb it.

You can’t always control what happens around you — but with the right support, you can regain control over how it affects you.

For more information and contact details, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au.

18/10/2025

You’ve probably heard the story of the frog in the pot — if a frog is placed in boiling water, it jumps out immediately. But if it’s placed in cool water that’s slowly heated, it doesn’t realise the danger until it’s too late.

In life, frog in the pot syndrome happens when we stay in situations that slowly erode our wellbeing. The changes are so gradual we don’t notice how much they’re affecting us — until we feel trapped, burnt out, or lost.

Here are some situations where this can happen:
🐸 Staying in a job that’s become increasingly stressful or unhealthy
🐸 Remaining in a relationship where respect or care has slowly faded
🐸 Accepting more and more responsibility until exhaustion becomes normal
🐸 Ignoring personal boundaries because others “need” you
🐸 Living with constant self-criticism or people-pleasing without realising how draining it’s become
🐸 Adapting to ongoing family conflict or emotional neglect
🐸 Gradually losing your sense of identity while trying to meet others’ expectations

Counselling can help you notice the temperature changing. Through gentle self-exploration, you can become more aware of what’s happening, recognise the early signs of emotional strain, and start to make choices that protect your wellbeing before things reach breaking point.

Sometimes, stepping back and having a safe space to talk is what helps you realise you don’t have to stay in the pot.

🌿 Visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au for more information and contact details.

16/10/2025

When life feels like one bad thing after another, it’s easy to slip into expecting the next problem before it even arrives.
You might catch yourself bracing for it — “What’s next?” — almost as though you’re waiting for confirmation that things won’t get better.

From a counselling perspective, this can be a sign that your nervous system is stuck in a state of vigilance.
When difficult experiences have followed each other closely, your body and mind learn to stay on guard, even when the danger has passed.

It’s not a character flaw — it’s a protective response that has simply outstayed its purpose.

Through counselling, we gently explore where this expectation of “the next bad thing” began, and how it shows up in your daily life.
Over time, you can learn to notice safety as readily as threat — to pause before predicting disaster, and to allow for the possibility that something good might happen next.

You deserve to feel at ease in your own life again.

🕊️
For more information and contact details, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

14/10/2025

What does your inner voice tell you?

Everyone has an inner voice — the internal dialogue that helps us think, plan, and make sense of the world. Psychologists refer to this as inner speech.

Research shows that inner speech develops during childhood. As children, we often talk out loud to ourselves while we play or solve problems — something known as private speech. Over time, this external talk becomes internal, forming the inner voice we carry into adulthood.

The tone and content of that inner voice are often influenced by the communication styles of our early caregivers. If a parent or caregiver used calm, encouraging language, our self-talk may sound supportive. If they were often critical or anxious, our internal dialogue can reflect that tone, even years later.

It’s also common for well-meant messages such as “You’re strong” or “Be good” to become internal rules that make it hard to express vulnerability or imperfection.

Understanding where our inner voice comes from can help us relate to it differently. Through counselling, many people learn to notice their inner dialogue with more compassion — and gradually shift it from something inherited to something self-chosen.

For more information and contact details, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

References and further reading
1. Vygotsky, L. S. (1987). Thinking and Speech. In R. W. Rieber & A. S. Carton (Eds.), The Collected Works of L. S. Vygotsky (Vol. 1). Plenum Press.
– Foundational theory describing how external speech becomes internalised as thought.
2. Alderson-Day, B., & Fernyhough, C. (2015). Inner speech: Development, cognitive functions, phenomenology, and neurobiology. Psychological Bulletin, 141(5), 931–965.
– Comprehensive review of how inner speech develops and operates in the brain.

09/10/2025

Before the baby, life with your partner may have felt carefree. You went out together, laughed easily, and had time just for the two of you. Now, everything feels different. She seems changed, the baby takes up every ounce of energy, and you find yourself missing the person she used to be — the person you could just relax and have fun with.

These feelings are real and they are valid. It’s normal to grieve the loss of how things once were. Becoming parents is one of the biggest changes a couple can go through. The woman you love hasn’t disappeared, but right now she’s stretched, exhausted, and reshaped by the new role she’s carrying.

It’s important to know that relationships aren’t meant to stay the same. They move through seasons. While this season may feel heavy, it doesn’t mean joy and closeness are gone forever. It means they need to be rediscovered in new ways. Small moments of connection, honest conversations, and turning towards each other — even in the tiredness — can slowly rebuild the “us” that feels lost.

This is not the time to walk away or make big decisions about leaving. This is a time to acknowledge the changes, care for each other differently, and hold on to the possibility that love can grow even in the hardest seasons.

Counselling can provide a space to talk about what’s been lost, what you long for, and how to find a way back to each other while adjusting to life with your baby.

For more information and contact details, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

08/10/2025

Sometimes before you can work on your relationship as a couple, it’s important to work on yourself as an individual.

When we don’t understand or attend to our own emotional struggles, they can quietly influence how we relate to our partner. For example:
• If you feel anxious or insecure, you might become overly sensitive to your partner’s tone or need constant reassurance.
• If you carry unhealed wounds from a past relationship, you might find it hard to trust or let your guard down.
• If you feel unfulfilled or unhappy within yourself, you might expect your partner to “fix” it — which can lead to frustration on both sides.
• If you avoid conflict or struggle to express emotions, it can leave your partner feeling shut out.

Addressing your own issues doesn’t mean you’re to blame — it means you’re taking responsibility for your part in how the relationship functions. Individual counselling can help you understand your reactions, recognise old patterns, and develop healthier ways of relating.

When both partners take this step, the relationship often feels safer, calmer, and more connected.

📍For more information and contact details, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

08/10/2025

Grief Isn’t Only About Death

Many people associate grief with the loss of a loved one — but grief can appear in many other moments of life too. It’s a natural emotional response to loss, and that loss doesn’t have to be death for the feelings to be real or valid.

You might grieve:
• The end of a relationship or friendship.
• The loss of health or physical ability.
• A change in identity — such as retirement, children leaving home, or redundancy.
• The life you imagined for yourself that didn’t unfold as planned.
• Moving away from a place or community that felt like home.

Grief can feel like sadness, emptiness, anger, or even numbness. It can come in waves — some days it’s heavy, other days it softens, and then it may catch you off guard again. You might question why you feel such deep emotions when “nothing tragic” has happened. But grief in these situations is just as real. It reflects the depth of your attachment and what that loss meant to you.

Counselling can help by giving you space to talk about what you’ve lost, to make sense of your feelings, and to find new ways of living with them. It’s not about “moving on” but learning how to carry that loss in a way that allows for healing and hope.

For more information or to get in touch, visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

07/10/2025

Becoming a stepmother can be rewarding, but it’s rarely easy. You’re entering a family that already has deep bonds, shared memories, and unspoken loyalties. No matter how caring you are, you may find yourself on the outside looking in.

Children often feel torn, wanting to accept you, yet fearing it means betraying their other parent. That tension can quietly spill into your relationship. You might feel unseen or excluded, while your partner feels guilty and pulled in two directions. Over time, this emotional tug can chip away at closeness and leave you both feeling misunderstood.

Counselling can help you and your partner understand these dynamics early on, to stay united, set healthy boundaries, and protect your relationship while allowing space for the children to adjust at their own pace.

Stepfamilies don’t need to blend perfectly. They need time, patience, and two people willing to face the complexity together.

Visit www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au for more information and contact details.

05/10/2025

What do you wish you could learn how to do, just because?
What is getting in the way of being able to do it right now? Are these things within your control to change?

What would need to happen and what adjustments could you make so that nothing is in the way?

How are you going to feel when you start learning?

How will knowing how to do this fun thing make you feel?

What personal strengths, talents, skills, resources and supports do you have that can help you make this happen?

Consider the steps you would need to take. Set a date to start and a date to finish.
Tell people about your goal. It will help you stay committed to achieving your goal.

Doing things just for fun is great for overall well-being. The energy that it creates can help us to create balance, making it easier us to manage the stressful parts of our lives with greater ease.

If limiting beliefs are stopping you from living your best life, I invite you to come and chat with me. Together we can work on identifying those beliefs, and figure out changes that you are prepared to make, so that you can live life the way you really want to.

To find out more visit my website
www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au

03/10/2025

Welcoming a new baby can bring immense joy, but it can also bring pressure. Sleep deprivation, shifting routines, new responsibilities, and emotional ups and downs can strain even the strongest relationships. Feeling disconnected or frustrated is common and normal.

What really matters when these changes begin to impact the way we feel in our relationship , is that we turn towards each other instead of away, recognising the changes each of you is experiencing. Growth, understanding, and open communication create the space needed to maintain connection and strengthen your relationship. Counselling can provide a safe space to explore these changes and support both partners as you navigate parenthood together.

For more information and contact details, please visit: www.andreawalmsleycounselling.com.au