19/11/2025
💛 Loving Someone With PTSD, CPTSD, or Both
Loving someone who lives with PTSD or Complex PTSD isn’t “hard” — it’s different.
Their nervous system has learned to survive what most people never experience, and sometimes that means their reactions, emotions, and needs might look confusing from the outside.
But with understanding, communication, and patience, loving someone with trauma can be one of the deepest, most meaningful forms of connection.
🌿 What Loving Someone With PTSD/CPTSD Often Looks Like
You may notice:
they get overwhelmed by things that seem small
they need extra reassurance when they feel unsafe
they shut down during conflict instead of arguing
they apologise too much
they struggle to trust fully, even when they want to
they feel guilty for having needs
they can switch from calm to distressed quickly
they get triggered by tone, facial expressions, or rejection
This is not them being dramatic, difficult, or disinterested.
This is their nervous system protecting them.
💚 How to Love Someone With Trauma Gently
1. Don’t take emotional reactions personally
Their responses are often survival instincts, not intentional behaviour.
2. Create safety with consistency
Predictability, honesty, and follow-through help their nervous system relax.
3. Avoid yelling, silent treatment, or threats
These can feel like danger, not disagreement.
4. Ask, “What do you need right now?”
Support looks different day to day. Sometimes they need space, sometimes closeness.
5. Learn their triggers
Not to avoid them entirely, but to approach them with care.
6. Validate their feelings
Even if you don’t understand the “why,” you can still acknowledge the impact.
7. Celebrate their wins
Trauma healing has no finish line. Every step matters.
💜 Loving Someone With Both PTSD + CPTSD
When someone carries both single-event trauma and long-term trauma, they may experience:
deeper emotional sensitivity
stronger startle reflexes
more intense flashbacks
distrust mixed with desire for connection
fear of abandonment and fear of closeness at the same time
They don’t need “fixing.”
They need safety, patience, compassion, and a partner/friend who shows they won’t leave when things get hard.
🤍 Remember This
Trauma changes how a person sees themselves, others, and the world.
But love — safe, steady, trauma-informed love — helps rewrite those messages.
If you love someone with PTSD or CPTSD, you are not responsible for healing their trauma.
But you can help create an environment where healing becomes possible.
And that is a gift.
