20/10/2025
MY TRAUMA IS NOT ME - a personal story
For a long time, I believed my trauma was who I was — that I was broken, shattered, unrepairable, and unwanted.
I wanted people to feel sorry for me, to join in the drama, to make allowances and excuses for me. I thought my trauma gave me permission to behave badly, to demand, to avoid responsibility.
I believed it was someone else’s job to fix it — that I had to wait helplessly for others to say sorry or make it right.
But while I sat in blame, rage, and self-pity, nothing changed. Healing never came.
My trauma made me feel small, disowned, and abandoned. I hid in shame, covering up my real self and personality. It told me lies about my worth, distracted me from my passions, and distorted my choices. At times, my life felt like a runaway train; at others, I played the role of confidence — defiant, pretending I was fine when I was far from it.
I didn’t know that trauma could be completely reconciled and healed.
When I began learning about the anatomy of the soul, I discovered something profound: trauma isn’t who we are — it’s like blobs of mud stuck to the surface of a pristine soul. That mud can be washed off. It’s not permanent.
Healing requires me to…
🔑 Be sincere in my desire to heal and change.
🔑 Accept personal responsibility — not for the origin of the trauma, but for removing it and its effects.
🔑 Understand that adult trauma stems from childhood wounds — soul injuries that can begin even at conception.
🔑 Become aware of my defences and avoidance tactics.
🔑 Love truth more than lies.
🔑 Be courageous enough to face the truth with brutal honesty — about where the mud came from and why I accepted it.
🔑 Feel the stickiness of the pain and its lingering effects.
🔑 Pray for spiritual guidance, protection, and strength.
🔑 Seek help from experienced facilitators of emotional processing.
🔑 Be patient — healing is not mental control, distraction, or reframing. It’s raw, messy, emotional work that takes time, commitment, and perseverance.
🔑 Gently dissolve emotional blocks on the way to the pain’s core.
🔑 Confront addictions and false payoffs that keep me from truth.
🔑 Let go of the diversions and fairytales of excuses.
🔑 Be emotional — allow the healing storm of denial, rage, fear, and grief to wash the mud away.
🔑 Take responsibility not to harm myself or others during the process.
🔑 Release the need for revenge or to be taken care of.
🔑 Forgive myself for the damage I caused me.
🔑 Forgive others for the damage they caused me.
🔑 Feel genuine sorrow for the pain I caused others.
🔑 Be compassionate, kind, and understanding — to myself and others.
🔑 Know that su***de is never the answer to end pain.
🔑 Love, embrace, believe, trust, and stand by the real me.
The deeper truth
Healing my trauma now clears the path for a peaceful death and an eternal life in the spirit world. If I avoid doing this work, death won’t be a miracle cure — I’ll arrive with the same pain, only sharper, stripped of denial.
Healing trauma is an ongoing process. Sometimes I run, I hide, I ignore. Until the pain becomes unbearable — physical, emotional, spiritual — and I’m reminded that the only real remedy is to feel it.
Pain has become my guide and friend, leading me back to truth. When I allow it to move through me, I feel immense relief.
As I heal, I lighten the weight carried through my DNA — for myself, my family, and generations to come.
I’ve tried so many ways to silence my pain — pills, meditation, counselling, distraction. None worked as deeply as simply feeling and listening to it.
Now, my goal is to restore my soul to its original pristine condition, so I can expand fully into who I was created to be.
Nature’s lesson
Nature shows us this process beautifully. When it’s time for growth, the trees crack open their outer bark and shed it — layer by layer — revealing a fresh, smooth surface beneath.
This is the guiding inspiration of truth from nature.
When the time comes, we too can shed what no longer serves us.
We are all healable.
One Garden Essences offer support at every stage with guidance and encouragement. But we've got to do the work.
