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Hell-yer Rising, Golden Beach (2025)

17/09/2024

**How My Routine Helped Me Reclaim Control of My Life**

Over the past few years, I tried to implement a morning routine, but it wasn’t until this year, when I hit a breaking point, that I was able to make it stick. At my lowest, I managed to pull it together. I was dealing with a lot—overcoming addiction, letting go of loved ones, struggling with my mental health, and feeling stuck.

For me, it wasn’t just about discipline. It was about creating a structure that supported my growth and well-being, especially as a neurodivergent man. I started small—adding a bit of breathwork here, some movement there—and over time, my routine evolved into something I now depend on daily.

There were people in my life who told me this shouldn't be my focus, saying that having a routine wasn’t addressing my "real" challenges and wasn’t beneficial. I’m glad I didn’t listen.

Today, my mornings are sacred. They include breathwork, yoga, meditation, ice baths, sauna, and journaling. This routine doesn’t just set the tone for my day—it’s the foundation that has helped me overcome some of my biggest challenges, like beating addiction and staying consistent in my growth. It’s given me the resilience and mental clarity to face life’s difficulties head-on.

For anyone feeling lost, I encourage you to start small and build your own routine. It might be the shift you need to regain control and find your strength again, one step at a time.

Here’s my 6-step process and what each step does for me:

1. **Breathwork** – I start with breathwork to center myself and regulate my nervous system, creating focus and intention for the rest of my routine.

2. **Yoga** – I follow breathwork with yoga to gently activate my body, increase flexibility, and prepare my muscles for the workout.

3. **Workout** – Once warmed up, I move into my workout, which elevates my energy and gets my heart rate up.

4. **Sauna** – After working out, I jump in the sauna to relax my muscles, promote detoxification, and aid in recovery.

5. **Ice bath** – I end with an ice bath to reduce inflammation, boost circulation, and leave me feeling invigorated.

6. **Journaling** – Finally, I finish with journaling to reflect on the mental clarity and emotional insights gained from my routine.

07/09/2024

**Part 3: Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship as an Autistic Individual**

Breaking free from a narcissistic relationship is one of the most challenging things anyone can do—especially for autistic individuals, who may already struggle with self-doubt or have been conditioned to mask their true selves. The healing process is about rediscovering who you are outside the toxic influence and learning to trust yourself again.

One of the first steps in healing is to unlearn the negative beliefs the narcissist implanted. You may have been made to feel “too much” or “not enough,” but these were manipulations designed to keep you compliant. Recognise that your traits—whether it's your need for clarity, your empathy, or your loyalty—are strengths, not weaknesses. Rebuilding your self-esteem and setting boundaries is key to regaining control of your life.

Here are a few steps to begin healing:

**Reconnect with your body and mind.**
Practices like yoga, meditation, or even journaling can help you reconnect with your emotions and sense of self. Autistic individuals often have a heightened sensitivity to internal and external stimuli, so finding ways to soothe your nervous system is essential.

**Set boundaries, even with yourself.**
Boundaries aren’t just for others. You may need to set firm boundaries with yourself regarding thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate self-blame or self-doubt. For example, if you catch yourself ruminating on what you "should have done differently," redirect that energy toward recognise what you did right by leaving the relationship.

**Find supportive communities.**
Healing in isolation can feel overwhelming. Reach out to trusted friends or support groups—especially those that understand the neurodivergent experience. You deserve to be heard and validated in safe spaces where your experiences are understood.

Healing isn’t linear, and it’s okay to take your time as you process the trauma from a narcissistic relationship. With each step, you reclaim more of yourself and your life.

If you like I am more then happy to sit down and listen to you and your story, also if you would like to know more or have questions around this topic please reach out in the chat.

06/09/2024

**Part 2: Narcissists and the Neurodivergent Experience**

Narcissists thrive on power and control, and they often achieve this through manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. For autistic individuals, these tactics can be especially damaging. Many of us value truth and fairness, and narcissists use these qualities against us by distorting reality and shifting blame. Over time, their gaslighting can cause us to doubt our own perception of events, leading to confusion and emotional exhaustion.

Autistic people can be more prone to 'masking' in relationships—suppressing or altering our natural behaviors to fit social expectations. Narcissists exploit this, often making us feel that our true selves are inadequate or wrong. This can result in a constant state of self-doubt and anxiety, where we question if the problems in the relationship are caused by us being "too sensitive" or "not understanding enough."

Why we (autistics) can be targeted when:

* Low self esteem, we have been told most of our lives that we are wrong. Even if you think you may be in the right on something be careful on voicing this as it will slowly be turned around on you known as gaslighting.
* We are used to being victimised or less then. Subconsciously may feel not deserving of love and respect and excuse things in the relationship that others may not.
* We may struggle to recognise what a healthy relationship looks like.
* We can get blindsided because we just want to be accepted.
* We can struggle with our day to day tasks etc a Narcissist will take full advantage of this because we are so happy to belong and have that feeling of safety.

🚩It's important to recognise these signs and understand that their behavior is a form of manipulation, not a reflection of your worth or ability to navigate relationships🚩

💬 *What are some signs you’ve noticed that a relationship might be taking a toxic turn?*

🙏 In Part 3, Let's discuss healing and reclaiming your sense of self after leaving a narcissistic relationship🙏

06/09/2024

The number one conversation with my clients this week. So I thought I'd touch on it in a short 3 part version.

**Part 1: Understanding Autism and Narcissistic Relationships**

Autistic individuals often approach relationships with a deep sense of loyalty, trust, and emotional honesty. We may be more direct in our communication, seek clarity, and thrive on routine and predictability. These traits can make relationships rewarding, but they can also leave us more vulnerable to manipulation by narcissistic individuals. Narcissists are drawn to people who are empathetic and accommodating, using their charm and manipulation to gain control over the relationship.

For those of us on the spectrum, it can be difficult to recognise when we’re in a toxic dynamic. Our focus on wanting to be loved and accepted can make us overlook the red flags in hopes of improving the relationship. In many cases, we may even blame ourselves for misunderstandings or emotional turbulence, feeling that we are the ones causing the issues.

💬 *Have you ever experienced moments where your loyalty made it hard to walk away from an unhealthy relationship?*

🚩Next, we'll explore how narcissistic individuals manipulate the neurodivergent experience to gain control.

04/09/2024

This is why men’s fire circles are a powerful and sacred space where men can connect, share, and support each other in a non-judgmental environment. In a world where men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions, the fire circle provides a safe and confidential container for open-hearted sharing without fear of judgment.

Safety and confidentiality are the pillars of this space. EVERY MAN MUST FEEL SECURE IN KNOWING THAT WHAT IS SHARED WITHIN THE CIRCLE STAYS WITHIN THE CIRCLE. This trust allows for true vulnerability, which is essential for deep connection and healing. Alongside this, accountability plays a crucial role—when men hold each other accountable with compassion, it strengthens the bond of trust and encourages personal growth.

As men share their stories, struggles, and triumphs, the fire helps to burn away the weight of their burdens, allowing them to rise from the ashes renewed and empowered. The fire, a symbol of warmth and transformation, enhances this sense of safety and community. Here, men can find strength in their vulnerability and walk their path with greater confidence, clarity, and purpose, knowing they are fully supported by their brothers.

28/08/2024

**25 Years Later: What It's Like to Be Drug and Alcohol Free**

For the first time in around 25 years, I find myself completely drug and alcohol free. It's a surreal experience, one that comes with a mix of emotions and realisations. On one level, I always knew this day would come. The last 12 months, especially, felt like a countdown of sorts—I didn’t know exactly when it would happen, but I could feel it coming. There was something deep within me, a feeling or an intuition, that told me this was where I was headed.

It's hard to describe the exact emotion that comes with this change. There’s a strange sense of clarity, a quiet stillness that wasn’t there before. It’s almost as if I’ve been carrying around a weight for so long that I forgot what it felt like to be without it. Now, with that weight gone, everything feels different—lighter, more manageable.

But getting here wasn’t easy. Along the way, I lost some family and more recently, friends who gave up on me. And that’s okay. I understand why they made those choices, and I wish I had been better at certain times for them. It’s part of the reality of this journey—sometimes, the path to becoming who we’re meant to be means leaving behind parts of our past, including relationships that couldn’t survive the changes.

What’s even stranger is the certainty I have now. I know I’m not going back. There’s something inside me, a knowing, that tells me this is it. It’s not just about quitting substances; it’s about embracing a new way of living, one that’s more aligned with who I really am. It’s as though I’ve been preparing for this moment without fully realizing it, and now that it’s here, I feel ready in a way I never did before.

This journey has been anything but easy, but standing here now, I can see the changes that have taken root in me. There’s a clarity in my mind and a peace in my heart that I haven’t felt in decades. I’m grateful for this new chapter, and for the strength that’s guided me here.

For anyone else who’s on a similar path, know that it’s possible. Even if it feels distant or unreachable right now, there’s a part of you that knows the way. Trust it, lean into it, and know that when the time is right, you’ll get there too.

Here’s to 25 years behind me, and to the clarity of the days ahead. Here’s to 25 years behind me, and to the clarity of the days ahead.🌟🙌 🥳🔥🌄

28/08/2024

**The Power of a Stable Environment for Neurodivergent Men**

As a neurodivergent man, I’ve come to understand just how crucial it is to have a stable and supportive environment. When you’re constantly navigating stress, anxiety, and the weight of societal expectations, finding that balance can feel like a breath of fresh air. There’s something incredibly grounding about knowing that you’ve got it right—that the environment you’ve created or found yourself in is one where you can truly thrive.

One of the most refreshing aspects of this stability is having mates who genuinely have your back. It’s one thing for people to say they’ll be there for you, but it’s a whole different experience when they actually show up, stand by your side, and support you through thick and thin. The value of these connections is immeasurable. These are the relationships that remind you of your worth and give you the strength to keep going.

For many neurodivergent men, the pressure to mask—hiding or suppressing our true selves to fit societal norms—can be overwhelming. While masking might help us fit in temporarily, it often comes at a significant cost. Constantly hiding who we are can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and a deep sense of disconnection from our own identities. It’s like wearing a mask so often that we forget what our own face looks like. Over time, this erodes our self-esteem and makes it harder to connect authentically with others.

That’s why unmasking is so important. It’s a process of rediscovery and self-acceptance, allowing us to be who we truly are without fear or shame. For neurodivergent men, unmasking can be an empowering step towards embracing our unique identities and living more authentically.

But this journey isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a lot of self-reflection, self-compassion, and the courage to challenge societal norms. But it’s worth it. Unmasking allows us to build deeper connections with ourselves and others, reduce the mental and emotional toll of constant masking, and reclaim our sense of identity.

Let’s start a conversation about the reality of masking and encourage each other to embrace our authentic selves. No one should feel the need to hide who they are to be accepted.

Having a stable environment, where you’re surrounded by people who genuinely have your back, is a game-changer. It’s a crucial part of the journey to unmasking and living a life that feels true to who you are. So, here’s to the mates who stand by us, the environments that support us, and the courage to be our true selves.

26/08/2024

Being introduced to the concept of “Doing the Work” has been life-changing for me. Now we can’t shift our external reality without making the changes to our internal landscape. Whether through personal development, professional training, or direct experience, this journey has deepened my understanding of neurodiversity in so many ways. Here are my top 5 takeaways.

1. Personal Insight
🌟Self-Awareness🌟 Engaging in self-reflection, therapy, and coaching has helped me better understand my own neurodivergent traits, leading to greater self-acceptance. Recognising how my brain works differently has allowed me to tailor strategies that play to my strengths and mitigate challenges.
Empathy- By working on myself, I’ve gained empathy for others who experience similar neurodivergent challenges. This translates into a more compassionate approach when supporting others, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

2. Professional Developmen
🌟Education and Training🌟 Completing certifications and engaging in neurodiversity-affirming practices has provided me with the knowledge and tools to support others effectively. I now have a deeper understanding of the diverse ways neurodivergent minds operate and how to create environments that are supportive rather than restrictive.
Applied Learning- Working directly with neurodivergent individuals has shown me firsthand how different approaches work for different people, reinforcing that flexibility is key.

3. Community Engagement
🌟Connection with Others🌟 Hosting my men’s neurodivergent fire circle and engaging with the neurodivergent community has provided me with invaluable insights into the shared experiences and unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. This connection has strengthened my understanding and commitment to advocating for neurodiversity.
Support Systems- Through these connections, I’ve seen how vital supportive networks are for neurodivergent people. My work highlights the importance of community and peer support in navigating life’s challenges.

4. Personal Growth and Resilience
🌟Resilience Building🌟As I’ve navigated my journey, I’ve built resilience—a quality I now see as crucial in understanding and embracing neurodiversity. Recognizing my resilience helps me encourage others to see their challenges as opportunities for growth.
Holistic Approach- My daily routines and practices, such as mindfulness, movement, and self-care, demonstrate that understanding neurodiversity isn't just about mental or cognitive differences but about embracing a holistic approach to well-being.

5. Shifting Perspectives
🌟Reframing Challenges🌟The work I’ve done has shifted my perspective from seeing neurodivergence as a challenge to viewing it as a different way of being, with its own set of strengths. This reframing is crucial in helping others embrace their neurodivergent identity with pride and confidence.
Advocacy- My journey fuels my passion for advocating for neurodivergent individuals, pushing for societal changes that recognize and celebrate neurodiversity.

**Doing the Work on yourself isn’t always easy, but the growth and understanding it brings are worth every effort.**

Hell-yer Rising

17/09/2024

07/09/2024

06/09/2024

06/09/2024

04/09/2024

28/08/2024

28/08/2024

26/08/2024

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Monday	6am - 9pm
Tuesday	6am - 9pm
Wednesday	6am - 9pm
Thursday	6am - 9pm
Friday	6am - 9pm
Saturday	9am - 3pm
Sunday	9am - 3pm