Interconnect Counselling - Therese Elsey

19/07/2023

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."
~Unknown

17/07/2023

This week (July 16-23) is Birth Trauma Awareness Week with a theme of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of the birth experience, commonly known as postpartum PTSD.

Unfortunately, postpartum PTSD remains largely under-recognised and misdiagnosed, despite its significant impact on the emotional well-being of parents, which can also affect their relationship with their baby.

Therese, with her extensive experience, specialises in assisting birthing parents and their partners in navigating the lingering distress caused by traumatic births. Her training encompasses a range of trauma processing modalities, including EMDR, enabling her to effectively address and support individuals on their healing journey in the management of birth-related trauma.
If you find yourself being impacted by the traumatic experience of a birth, please reach out to Therese today. She is ready to provide the support and guidance you need during this challenging time.

“New research published recently by the Australasian Birth Trauma Association (ABTA) reveals one in three people who have given birth in the last five years report their birth to be traumatic (33%), with one in ten (12%) reporting it to be extremely traumatic, including both physical injuries and mental health challenges as a result of giving birth.
• A staggering 79% of birthing parents reported experiencing at least one symptom of postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after giving birth.
• Nearly one in three (30%) reported symptoms of anxiety
• Nearly one in five (19%) said they experienced vivid flashbacks or nightmares.
• Over one in five (22%) felt overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, guilt or shame.
• 21% report avoiding feelings or memories of birth entirely.
Despite the prevalence of symptoms, one in five (17%) women report not telling anyone about their PTSD symptoms and almost half (44%) of respondents say they didn’t seek any treatment to manage their symptoms.”
(ABTA, 2023)

Each year ABTA hosts birth trauma awareness week to raise awareness for the 110,000 families impacted by birth-related trauma across Australia to;

16/07/2023

“Don’t tell a mother she looks tired; she already knows that.
Tell her she’s doing a great job; she may not know that.
~Stephanie Peltier

02/07/2023

Today, 2nd July is the middle day of the year…Day 183…we’ve had 182 and there are 182 days left of the year. Today presents a good opportunity to step back, reflect and evaluate your year so far…what have you already achieved, what hurdles have you overcome, what flows on from here and what lays ahead…Make the 2nd half of your year count!

05/05/2023

Happy International Day of the Midwife to all my midwife friends and colleagues!
Thank you 🙏🏻

19/04/2023

Requests Vs. Boundaries Vs. Ultimatums:

If your boundaries aren’t working, you’re probably making requests instead of setting boundaries…

By making a request, we give the other party the opportunity to meet us in our needs.

16/04/2023

"Our role as parents is not to control our children’s world. It’s not to make their world as safe and easy as possible. We wish we could soften the blows, but we know by now, that’s absolutely not possible.
Our role is to help them to learn how to be brave.
Children will never find their own brave when we aren’t giving them the opportunity to be scared. Fear always precedes bravery."

FINDING THEIR BRAVE

I have been watching my son over the past two weeks…

Over the years, I have often been told by others that this is a brave child… And I have known it to be true from his toddler years…

Not in the “ra-ra”, loud and “out there” way… He possesses a quiet confidence, asks a hundred questions, tries things out, rethinks failures and understands human emotions at a depth that exceeds most adults I know…

I have watched this “new surfer” take his board, and lie in the back ocean swells for five hours at a time, watching and learning from the professionals, trying, falling, and getting back up- over and over again…

I have watched him walk to the market, all on his own, and buy our daily bread, fruit and vegetables…

I have watched him negotiate with vendors, discuss boat engines with fishmongers, and make friends with strangers…

I have watched his fierce yet kind determination and independent spirit move him beyond any of my expectations…

I have watched him quietly parade his brave…

Here’s the thing… We don’t raise brave children by teaching them to be “stronger”, by telling them to “man up”, and by forcing them to paddle oceans they aren’t ready for…

Many uninformed people believe that Gentle Parenting raises weak and dependent children. I have observed the complete opposite. We raise brave children by parenting them gently- by parenting with compassion, empathy and kindness…

When a child is raised in fear, they are too scared to venture out, to test the limits, because they’ve always had an adult who’s told them exactly what to do and how to do it.
They have never had an adult who has allowed them the opportunity to think for themselves.
Never allowed them to believe in themselves.
Never allowed them to trust themselves.

Our role as parents is not to control our children’s world. It’s not to make their world as safe and easy as possible. We wish we could soften the blows, but we know by now, that’s absolutely not possible.

Our role is to help them to learn how to be brave.

Children will never find their own brave when we aren’t giving them the opportunity to be scared. Fear always precedes bravery.

When faced with a challenging situation, see your child’s fear. Tell them you see it. Don’t dismiss or minimize it. Stand in fear’s presence alongside them. Then, see their courage. And believe in THAT. Believe that their courage will conquer their fear.

Children see themselves through our eyes, and when we see their brave, they are left feeling brave.

“When I can stare at fear and enter it’s presence regardless, that makes me brave. That makes me resilient.”

Raise your children to believe that they are capable of facing fear.
Raise them to know that you stand alongside them through it.
Then watch them begin to trust themselves.
Watch in awe as they find their brave.

In my son’s younger years, I stood with him as he clung onto my knee… and then as he faced his fears…
I saw his courage and reminded him of it…

Now, I stand back, and I proudly watch his brave…

With love from a proud mamma and gentle parenting advocate,
Naomi ♥️

———————————————————
PS. I wrote this in a warm-hearted mom moment on the beach a few days ago but wasn’t planning to post it. I mentioned to my son how proud I was of his “brave” and told him I had even written a blog on it. He asked me to read it to him. Once I had, he said to me, “Mom, post it. Other parents need to hear about this.”
So here it is…

If you want to know more about Gentle Parenting, the science behind it and how from a neurological and developmental perspective, it’s the best way to raise resilient and confident children, here’s the link to a five-module introductory course: 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

https://naomiholdt.com/purchase/gentle-parenting-intro-series/

I can’t wait for you to experience the freedom and enjoyment (Yes! Enjoyment!) within Gentle Parenting. 💃

08/03/2023

Happy International Women’s Day!

“Equality is giving everyone a shoe; equity is giving everyone a shoe that fits.”
~ Naheed Dosani

Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all .

https://www.internationalwomensday.com

05/03/2023

Celebrating, 10 years!

On 5th March 2013 I started my journey as a private practitioner in Perinatal Mental Health, seeing my first client as Interconnect Counselling.

With no knowledge of where this journey would go I’m so happy to say that today, 5 March 2023, I have a very successful flourishing private practice and it’s all because of you. Whether you be a client, a colleague, my family and friends you’ve all been part of my journey and contributed to what has helped develop my practice into what it is today.

Thank you for being part of my journey… Thank you for believing in me, for trusting me and providing me all those challenges, supports and encouragement along the way.

09/02/2023

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself.”
~ Eckhart Tolle
What can you do today to connect with your inner stillness?

16/01/2023

Never leave them any doubt about where you are standing!

In the ring of life there will be days your child feels like they have no one in their corner.
Days when the world seems unusually dark.
Days when they feel utterly alone.

Make sure that at these times they are never left with any doubt about where you are standing:

Right beside them.♥️

10/01/2023

I wish you happiness!
“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

07/01/2023

Learning how to embrace my blah is very healing!

EMBRACE YOUR BLAH

These are my toes lazily lounging in a hammock, in close proximity to some coconut palms and a crystal clear ocean expanse…

I should be feeling filled-up, fueled-up, and ready to tackle whatever 2023 throws my way…

I’m not…

Although I completely recognize the irrationality behind the thought, many of us have it anyway- the hope that an invisible energy injection will be infused through our veins as one year clocks over to the next.
One that will leave us feeling prepared.
Ready.
On top of things…

It has not arrived.
Here I am.
Still waiting.

Despite being in an idyllic location, one that historically fills my soul and calms my mind…
I have felt restless…
Still exhausted…
I have felt… Blah…

By the end of yesterday, the frustration was oozing. I hadn’t managed more than reading a few pages of my book, I hadn’t even managed half an hour on the beach in the sun… I can’t actually tell you what I did… I have no idea…
Blah had been the order of the day…

I went to bed determined that today I would at least accomplish something… minimal…

Nope. Still Blah.

But I did make one change: Today, I have reframed this Blah state of being more compassionately… I have sought to understand it, and in doing that, embrace it gently…

I get it. We’re still in go-go-go mode. Vigilantly waiting at the bus-stop for a crisis. On chair-edges waiting for some major global, national, near-home or
at-home event that will require all of our mental and emotional resources.

It’s not a conscious place to be. It’s actually buried deeply under many other layers of consciousness. But it remains what it is: a place of existence. It’s where we’ve had to be for the past few years. That space of “alertness” doesn’t just disappear no matter how many talkings-to we give ourselves. And it is absolutely depleting- down to the skeletal parts of our being.

So instead of frustration today, I’m letting myself be… Blah and all… Exactly where I am…

Part of healing from the past few years, is refueling, and many of our tanks are still in serious overdraft.

I don’t have the answers to quick refueling. I don’t have the magic cure or the secret weapon. Instead, I am going to try listen… with no expectations… and no judgement of what I did and didn’t accomplish today… of what I will or won’t accomplish or in the coming days… weeks… months… or year…

Healing isn’t a race. It’s an ultra-marathon that many of the world’s citizens are currently hobbling in. There are no medals for podium finishes. Only ones for liberally dishing out kindness along the way.

I’m going to go more slowly…
I am going to do more inner-listening…
I am going to embrace the Blah more compassionately…

After all, when we are quiet and tune in, Blah Days are really just our bodies telling our minds to rest…

Embrace your Blah.
It just needs to be heard.

From one marathon runner to another,
With love
Naomi 🏃‍♀️ ♥️

01/01/2023

Happy 2023!
May this new year bring peace, happiness and joy!

22/12/2022

A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…
From Naomi Holdt - Psychologist and Speaker

No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…
We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…
And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to “catch up” in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…
Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…
We can’t.
And attempts to re-create some semblance of “normal” on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…

So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in -
Pause.

Breathe.

Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.
Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).

Understanding brings compassion…
Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible “Handle with care” posters around their necks and “Fragile” tattoos on their bodies…

Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently. Go slowly.

Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind.

There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness.
With love
Naomi

22/12/2022

Another very busy year over and we’re having a couple of weeks off to rest and recuperate.
I’ll be ready to bounce back to start the new year on 10th January 2023.
*
Thank you to all my clients, colleagues and friends for another year of support.
*
Wishing you all a happy, safe and peaceful Christmas! 🎄

17/11/2022

I love that all of these activities are readily available and attainable!

Try these fun games and activities with your children and watch how their eagerness to learn and their relationship with you grow!

24/09/2022

Important words.
As parents, our children require us to be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser and Kind!

11/09/2022

Hold the mamma!

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣⁣
by not only the mother,⁣⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
But the mother,⁣⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣⁣
⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣⁣
⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣⁣
⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣⁣
⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣⁣

Living FULL

08/09/2022

Day 2 of the Australian College of Mental Health Nurses conference with a theme of Mental Health Nursing in a Climate of Change!

I really enjoyed hearing Shame Fitzsimmons (commissioner for Resilience NSW) talk about ‘What is Resilience’
He doesn’t agree that being resilient is “bouncing back” following adversity…he believes it is about learning from the experience and coming out the other side recognising our vulnerability and how to mitigate the changes that can come with adversity!
I agree!

Australian College of Mental Health Nurses

24/08/2022

It's important to set healthy boundaries so that you can feel safe and contained

Why is it so hard to set healthy boundaries? The answer is unique to each person. One thing is for sure, the pandemic and global disruption has made it

15/08/2022

Happy National Relaxation Day!
Slow down… breath, and relax.
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/relaxation-day/

Slow down… breath, and relax. National Relaxation Day is all about winding down and just taking it easy. If you’re lucky enough to have the day off work,

14/08/2022

Take the pressure off!

Simply accepting that with a new baby in the house you will have less control over the details of things than you used to can be a relief, take the pressure off, and feel liberating. Constant change is the reality of early parenthood and doesn’t mean you’re not keeping up or you’re doing it badly! In fact nothing could be further from the truth. Be comfortable with the fact that things don’t have to be perfect – the floors don’t need to be mopped and the laundry doesn’t have to be folded and put away every single day – that’s how most people’s houses are in reality!

It helps to learn to stay flexible, be a bit open-minded, and expect that changes will happen.

Caring for a new baby requires new knowledge and skills. It is common to feel clumsy and a bit incompetent at the start. Learning these new things and getting to know your baby take time and experience. Over time you will feel more self-confident and competent.

Visit https://www.mumspace.com.au for more information.

12/07/2022

29/06/2022

Important to listen to their words!

When parents ignore these requests it sends messages to ignore one's sense of self and agency.

12/05/2022

Happy Birthday Florence! Happy International Nurses Day!
The theme for the 2022 International Nurses Day is Nurses: A Voice to Lead - Invest in Nursing and respect rights to secure global health. Mental health nurses are at the forefront of mental healthcare, but are yet to receive the support and recognition they deserve. Despite our level of education, experience and skill, Credentialed Mental Health Nurses are still not able to access the Better Access to Mental Health program which enables people to access sessions with a mental health clinician. The Australian College of Mental Health Nurses expresses its support for mental health nurses finding their ‘voices to lead’.

https://acmhn.org/mental-health-nurses-voices-to-lead/?fbclid=IwAR0YAVjHKYEWn14pKwNJb3Tcy0O786JAwt4ltzEBwc7jG2FP6tABknl_etA

21/04/2022

Mindfulness techniques to take some stress and anxiety out of raising kids.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/mindful-parenting/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=pro-newsletter&utm_campaign=gpn-april-2022-email2

The Child Mind Institute discusses mindful parenting and how to use techniques to take the stress and anxiety out of raising kids.

15/04/2022

“Toxic positivity is the extreme preference for positive emotions while ignoring or rejecting anything negative. It is looking at the spectrum of emotions that people experience and stating that the happy ones are okay, but the unpleasant ones are not.
Toxic positivity is rampant in motherhood.

Yes, there are periods of joy and they should be celebrated. But ignoring the hard stuff, asking each other to only talk about the positive, and shaming people when they acknowledge the bad are all symptoms of toxic positivity”

https://www.mother.ly/state-of-motherhood-1/moms-are-burned-out/toxic-positivity-motherhood/?fbclid=IwAR0FDq5XhbAnh-MYEU9sWXN42kayo43B544x2nSZugggPg5yVLealP8UUQI

Toxic positivity surrounding motherhood—insisting that mothers be happy and positive all the time—does not fix the burn out.

12/04/2022

Some very helpful ideas when visiting a newborn 😊

Read up on these essential rules for visiting a newborn to make sure your visit is welcome and not a strain (or worse, a health risk).

01/04/2022

Bigger, Stronger, Wiser & Kind 💕

Being With and having a secure attachment doesn't mean being overly nice all the time. It means offering no-nonsense tenderness that says, “I am here for you and here to take charge and keep you safe. You can count on me” (86).

Hoffman, Kent, Glen Cooper, Bert Powell, and Christine Benton. Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore. Guilford Press, 2017.

13/03/2022

Some truth in this one! 😊

On point 😂

08/03/2022

Happy International Women’s Day!
International Women’s Day is celebrated to recognise the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.

Imagine a gender equal world.
A world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination.
A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive.
A world where difference is valued and celebrated.
Together we can forge women's equality.
Collectively we can all .

Celebrate women's achievement. Raise awareness against bias. Take action for equality.

Here’s To Strong Women: May We Know Them, May We Be Them, May We Raise Them!

05/03/2022

Yesterday 5/3/22 was my 9 year anniversary since I saw my first private practice client.
Over the last 9 years my private practice has grown, developed and gone through some amazing changes into what it is today. Today I have a very healthy practice and am now working solely as an online practitioner from a home office.

Thank you to all of you for your encouragement, support and belief in me. I appreciate you whether you’ve been my family, friend, mentor, colleague or client.
Without you I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I am grateful to all of you 🙏🏻

25/01/2022

“Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, You couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure?”
~Unknown
Therese Elsey Photography

16/01/2022

I worked with Di many years ago when I worked in the public health system. I’m happy to support the work she is now offering privately to provide women centred care in a wellness framework

Hi, I’m Di Longworth.
I am an endorsed midwife providing private midwifery services including Homebirth, on Awabakal, Worimi, Wonnarua and Geawegal country (Newcastle, Lake Mac, Port Stephens, and Hunter Valley).

I have been a midwife since 1997, and practiced primarily in women centred, midwifery models of care and more recently, in rural, remote, and regional settings across NSW and Qld.
I have launched back into Private Practice Midwifery in 2022 (after 12 years away from homebirth!) as I am finding that women are emerging damaged, physically, and psychologically from the standard medical model of care. Working within that system doesn’t align with my beliefs and philosophy of birth as a normal life event that should be viewed in a wellness paradigm.

I practice within the Australian College of Midwives Guidelines for Consultation and Referral and aim to be clear about any developments during pregnancy and birth that may fall outside of my scope of practice. As endorsed midwives we are required by law to hold professional indemnity insurance. I am insured by MIGA the only company that offers midwives insurance, however as there is no insurance product available for intrapartum care at home, I work under the federal government exemption for this component of your care. I am fully covered for pregnancy and postnatal care.

I hope to be able to provide my community with an alternate model of care which is tailored to their needs and remains a safe alternative to the medical model of care.

Please message or email me for further info!

24/12/2021

And so my work year of 2021 comes to a close…it’s been a big year for so many of us and a nurturing couple of weeks rest and relaxation is definitely well deserved!

I will be away on leave until Tuesday 11th January, and will return in 2022 to a lot of changes in the way we do things…(More about that later)

Thank you to all my clients, friends and colleagues for another great year. It would not be possible without you, and I really appreciate your flexibility and understanding throughout a difficult couple of years!

Wishing you all a Safe and Happy Christmas and New Year 🎄
See you in ‘22 😊

17/12/2021

Dr Kristy Goodwin, digital wellbeing & productivity researcher/speaker/author/consultant, provides some helpful tips on helping wean your child from technology devices

https://drkristygoodwin.com/how-to-wean-the-screen-emerging-from-lockdown-with-your-kids-digital-wellbeing/?vgo_ee=ArOx%2BlbGxogmlZ%2BNmK4KD1ht4ik6P9xNvhsQ1FjqbGc%3

After our longest round of lockdowns yet, parents everywhere are celebrating as our kids are settling back into school to finish term four. But after a challenging few months of trying to juggle work and school, reliance on technology has increased and our kids are using screens more than ever, affe...

16/12/2021

Motherly’s recent study showed 93% of mums report burn out and 92% report that society doesn’t do a good job of supporting new mothers

Your burnout is not your fault.

Society is asking you to nurture in an environment that does not nurture you back.

http://m.mother.ly/3V6toLN?fbclid=IwAR3CrBJqLQldeoT53_Bfhuji7R-WdT3beRnp6f36v00GXu4DEQ8Y7WPIReo

Society is asking you to nurture in an environment that does not nurture you back.

06/12/2021

Sage advise from this dad…