I do, I do, I do Podcast

23/03/2026

We are unfortunately experiencing technical difficulties releasing our latest podcast :(. We hope to have it out soon. In the mean time let us know what you would like us to cover in our next podcasts?

16/03/2026

Sometimes we can do things for our spouse or partner that we think are showing them love.

We sacrifice our own wants and needs, likes, dislikes etc. because we think that's what we "should do" to be loving....that's what a loving relationship is all about right?

In their book "Boundaries in Marriage" Dr Cloud and Dr Townsend discuss how important it is to check our motivations for doing self sacrificing things for our partner.

Is our motive really love? or is it fear?

Fear of losing our partner? Fear of being seen as unloving? selfish? Fear of making them disappointed or even angry?

If fear is what is motivating our actions then it won't take long before the cracks start to show.

Resentment towards your partner for not "appreciating your sacrifice enough", is one big one. Your partner becoming comfortable taking you for granted is another...

Obviously there are things that you will draw a hard line on. And so will your partner. Healthy boundaries involve sharing with your partner what your limits are, and what you dislike. And expecting these will be respected.

But does this mean you should only ever do things that you like or want in your relationship? No. Your relationship will be very one sided if this is what happens.

So what do you do? Join us on our next podcast to find out

10/03/2026

Do you regularly tell your partner that you're fine when you're not fine? You are training your partner to ignore your non verbal cues that something is wrong. This puts up a wall and creates emotional drift.

If you regularly get frustrated that your partner does not seem to really know you, or try and connect with you emotionally...then make a mental note to check whether you regularly do this.

You might have reasons why you don't want to say what's wrong right away...
Maybe you're processing the problem to work out if it's really an issue? Maybe you are too tired to explain something you've already shared before with no positive outcome? Maybe you're afraid of starting an argument?

Whatever the reason is, share it:

Say: I'm still processing how I feel. I'll let you know if it's a problem that's big enough to share. It might be nothing".

Or "This is something I've tried to tell you about a lot and I don't feel heard. I don't know if I can tell you again if there is no change".

Or "I don't feel safe raising this because I'm afraid of starting a fight. Are you in the right space to hear an issue I have? Or can we talk about it soon when you are?"

Keep communication open. Keep trust levels high and suspicion levels down. Don't give resentment and grudges time to grow. Don't train your partner to ignore the signs that something is a problem for you.

08/03/2026

Do you feel committed to your partner? Do they feel committed to you? What does commitment mean to you? What does it look like?

06/03/2026

Episode 2 is ready

Does it sometimes feel like what you say and what your partner hears are two different things? Welcome back to "I do, I do, I do," a podcast about marriage!O...

06/03/2026

Deal with conflict and the love will flow, right? So, deal with grievances first... right? Well, while it is important to address grievances quickly before resentment and grudges set in, ensuring you take the time to foster loving feelings first will help you manage conflict better and resolve grievances more easily. Do not wait until the conflict is resolved to be loving toward your partner. Love them first. 💗❤️💗❤️💗

05/03/2026

Our new podcast will be uploaded onto YouTube very soon!

Don't forget to like and subscribe to our YouTube channel if you haven't already:
https://youtube.com/?si=YYswq6j5WiJkzUOj

Please continue to give us your feedback, it is so valuable to us and has helped so much. Also let us know what you would like to hear us talk about in future episodes. The episode coming up is on filters. :)

Looking for better ways to communicate with your partner? Join Andrew and Sarah on I do, I do, I do., a marriage podcast dedicated to the three pillars of a healthy relationship: 1. I do to my partner (Commitment to the person) 2. I do to myself (Commitment to personal growth) 3. I do to the marriag...

02/03/2026

Unaddressed resentment can trigger what the Gottman Institute calls Negative Sentiment Override (NSO).

When this occurs in your partner, they begin to view everything you do through a negative filter. Well-intentioned comments feel like attacks to them. What they hear is not what you've actually said. Conversations become frustrating and exhausting, as your words are constantly misinterpreted.

While professional counseling is highly recommended to overcome NSO, you can start by:

- Addressing conflict quickly and respectfully to prevent resentment from growing.
- Proactively checking in: Ask, “Has anything I’ve done lately made you feel disrespected or unseen/unheard?”
- Listening fully, owning your mistakes, and offering genuine apologies.
- Creating safety for your partner to share grievances instead of bottling them up

If you haven't liked or subscribed to our YouTube channel please do. We will be discussing this problem, as well as other communication issues and strategies to overcome them, in future episodes of our podcast.

28/02/2026

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)

Are you truly guarding yours?

A dangerous myth conflates love with the absence of boundaries. True love is not allowing your heart to be trampled, nor is it sacrificing your health and safety under the guise of “unconditional” love for a partner.

This myth is perpetuated in songs like JJ Heller’s “If You Fall,” which equates love with co-destruction: “If you fall I fall with you… Even if my heart turns black and blue.” But if your partner is engaged in destructive behavior, establishing healthy boundaries is an act of love, not hate.

Allowing yourself to be pulled down ensures that no one is left standing to help. What happens to you, your partner, or your children if you both “fall”?

This isn’t about abandoning someone at their first struggle. It is about the wisdom to know that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Setting boundaries—whether that requires physical distance or simply clear communication about what you will not tolerate—is what protects both of you from becoming a “burnt and broken mess.”

27/02/2026

While there are always exceptions to the rule, stereotypes exist for a reason. Men tend to process silence one way. Women entirely differently. In a conflict situation, if you don't understand this difference, it can be deadly for your relationship.

Does this situation sound familiar?

Female partner brings up a grievance. Male partner shuts down and goes quiet. Female partner tries harder. Male partner doubles down. Female partner tries again. This process can go on for years. Resentment builds. Nagging begins....conflict escalates.

Female partner takes the male partner's silence and avoidance of the issue as a lack of care and respect. She starts to emotionally separate herself from her partner. She is getting ready to leave her partner. She stops mentioning anything about the grievance at all and goes silent.

Male partner is oblivious. He feels relieved at the new found silence. Finally the problem is gone! Everything is okay now. Time to relax!

Female partner announces intent to separate or divorce and the male partner is gobsmacked!!! What happened?

We will be discussing this in future episodes of Ido Ido Ido. It is most likely not what you think...

25/02/2026

Do you know what makes your partner feel loved? If you don't know, then ask them

23/02/2026

Intimacy and a strong bond with your partner require vulnerability. This can be a terrifying thing if you have been in past relationships where vulnerability has not led to a deeper relationship but abuse and betrayal. In future episodes we are going to be talking about how to be safely vulnerable, and how to replace defensiveness with healthy boundaries