It began with the creation of Jake at a cattle farm in Butcher’s Creek when Warren was sick. "I had four heart attacks," Warren says, "and a bypass." While recuperating, he made Jake the scarecrow, not to scare crows, but "to scare the missus", which Jake did, making Warren’s school-teacher wife, Nyree, scream at the sight of a black-haired stranger lurking on her verandah. But the scarecrow concept really took flight once Warren decided to give up cattle farming and start a mango farm at Emerald Creek two years ago. "I put Jake on the fence and a couple of cars stopped and had a giggle," Warren says. Its inhabitants seem to come across what they need just at the exact time they need it. For example, when Jake, who is made of timber, has a wig, and sports op-shop clothes, grew tired of being alone, along came a girlfriend for him, named Lucy. "I was going to give her a girlfriend," Warren says, laughing. But he didn’t think the local community was ready for that. Then when the couple got sick, a doctor, named Dr Nob, appeared to solve their problems. Dr Nob uses his very large syringe to give his patients the flu jab at the right time of year. On the market for a wife, today he wears a sign saying, "I’m single, ladies". But says Warren there’s little hope for the not-so-shy doc because he’s a bit of a sleaze and he is often found standing amid the trees scaring passers-by. Jake and Lucy, however, are a success story and their relationship has unfolded on the highway. Celebrations like Christmas and New Years were marked by the happy pair, who love nothing better than to bicker between themselves, until one day Lucy could wait on her man no longer and she proposed. "Marry me Jake", she said in front of all and motory. Jake, being a new man of the times, replied: "Oh. Only if I do the housework." Like their creator Warren, and his wife Nyree, since their marriage Jake and Lucy share all household chores regardless of whether the jobs are traditionally performed by a man or a woman. As temperatures drop, Lucy will soon be seen chopping firewood, while Jake will do what he loves best; sudding up his mits doing the washing-up. But that’s to skip too forward. The couple’s engagement has been captured at its peak romantic moments. There was the time Lucy told Jake she had to go and buy wedding shoes. Jake replied: "What more shoes! On your bike there Lucy." And on her bike she pedalled. There were the hours when the couple exercised rigorously to get in shape for their nuptials. Lucy extended herself in constant splits for two weeks, while Jake threw a few high kicks at his head to limber up for wedding night. And like all good build-ups, there was a last minute hitch that threatened the glorious day, when Lucy’s wedding dress wouldn’t fit. Warren sorted that out as only a man could. "She was a bit wide on the shoulders for the dress so I just sawed her shoulders to narrow them a bit," he says. In a roadside ceremony on September 1 with real-life marriage celebrant Cheryl Tonkin, the scare pair exchanged their vows. And marking another huge landmark in the couple’s life, Lucy gave birth to a baby boy on April 4 this year. "She is Lucy by name but not by nature," Warren says, although there is some doubt as to the baby’s parentage as he looks nothing like a scarecrow – rumours abound that Lucy may have had an affair with a neighbour. Nobody has been more surprised by the reaction to his "children" than Warren Burton, who keeps a scrap book of their lives. He’s had Japanese tourists climb on board Lucy’s back, and he has a box full of business cards from droppers-by who love his creations and their story that continues to unfold. Originally the outfits he bought for his worzels cost about $15 each from local charity shops, which added up, considering they are changed every two weeks after sunset. But now people donate clothes and accessories so they can see their favourite characters evolve. For baby Jed’s naming ceremony, attended by 20 people, a couple gave Warren two christening outfits, and the next-door neighbours, who acted as godparents, made a beautiful gold soother, created from a toilet chain and painted dummy. "People take it very seriously," Warren said. "One time I took Jake and Lucy over to my sister’s and I put a sign up saying they were gone away on honeymoon to Lake Eacham, and a couple actually went there looking for them," he says. The crow scarers have made guest appearances in shop windows and have visited Mareeba hospital at Christmas, but they seldom have to leave their paddock to cause a stir, as their life events are wholeheartedly embraced by locals. They had no trouble obtaining a "we are hitched" marriage certificate. Lucy had no problem acquiring healthcare when she was pregnant, which is proven by her Queensland Health antenatal report that she holds for posterity. And in town, who could forget the fever pitch betting on whether her offspring would be a boy or a girl. The hardest part for Warren is thinking up new ideas. But for those pondering the future storyline, here’s a tip. There is an element of convenience. Jake was created with a chainsaw in half an hour, and made in the size, not the image and likeness, of Warren, so that he could throw his own clothes onto him. And the baby’s name, Jed, was chosen because it was short and wouldn’t take up too much room on the fence. Warren has received letters saying the scarecrows bring joy far and wide. For a man who likes people to laugh even when they reach his answering machine – at the moment it says he’s out swinging in the trees – it’s enough reason for him to keep going. After his move to help his health, Warren enjoys his time as a mango farmer. He also sells plants on the highway so his scarecrow attractions may have some practical purpose. But do they scare crows? "I doubt it," Warren says with a chuckle. "Although they may do because we don’t have any crows around here."
