19/07/2024
FP -
My daughter's dad didn't want anything to do with me or our daughter when I told him i was pregnant, I told him he had until she was 2yo to change his mind, he wasn't on the birth certificate, I did call his parents to say she was born and I never heard anything back, he never met his daughter then the week before she turned 2yo his mum turned up at my house wanting to see my daughter, she told me she didn't know about me or my daughter or she would have come akkner. I was actually in a committed relationship with her dad, I spent 3mrhs at his parents house while they were overseas and then found out I was pregnant, he never told his mum about the pregnancy or that he had a daughter and he had heard the message I left on his parents answering machine and deleted it so his parents never knew my daughter existed until his mum read a letter he received from the family court asking him to sign the birth certificate which he received the day before she came to my house. Hks mum told me that her and his dad wanted to be in her life but her dad didn't want anything to do with her. I was reluctant but I let her for a bit then told her if they wanted to be in her life then he needed to be in her life too. He called me a few days later saying he would be in her life as long as his parents could have her every 2nd weekend and I agreed, his mum picked her up every 2nd friday afternoon and drop her back home on Sunday night after dinner, bathed and ready for bed.
After a couple of years i told him he needed to spend time with his daughter, he started picking her up and dropping her off every 2nd weekend and he was dropping her off at his parents for the weekend and dropping her off after dinner on the Sunday. She loves going to her grandparents his mum spoils her and spends the whole weekend doing stuff with her, she's now 4yr and started asking why her dad doesn't spend any time with her. I told him she wasn't going to his parents house anymore unless he starts going there when she's there and spends time with her, he did but he wasn't really doing much with her. His mum cooks with her and does everything for her for the whole weekend. Recently he agreed to having her at his place with him and his gf and my hates going there and neither of them are very nice to her she keeps asking him to take her to his parents house. I don't know what to do, should I let her keep going to her grandparents house or should I keep making him be in her life? His gf has just found out she's pregnant and he's so excited and makes sure my daughter knows their baby is his baby and makes her feel like she's not as important, everything is about the new baby, they told she couldn't stay there anymore because her room there is now the baby's room. She no longer wants to go to her dad's or be around him and his gf, but she wants to go his parents house and they still want her to go there every 2nd weekend. I don't want her to feel left out or think she's not important to him. I'm concerned that she will feel like he doesn't care when him and his gf are at his parents when she's there and that's how he makes her feel.
Should I stop her from going to his parents? She loves going there just not when they come over. His mum treats my daughter like a princess, I'm thinking it is best to just put a stop to it before they have the baby because I know he's only going to make her feel worse when the baby comes. He wants this baby and he doesn't want my daughter to be part of their lil family and him and his gf have made sure of that. She loves her grandparents and they love her but it doesn't feel right to make her go through this anymore. What would you do? Am I wrong if I tell her she can't go to her grandparents anymore?
