13/12/2025
DESPERATE FOR S*X? HAVE YOU ASKED YOURSELF WHY?
So many of us gay men sit for hours on the apps, clicking on profiles, sending c*ck and butt pics, craving physical attention, and finding that hours later we've invested so much time and for little to no reward.
Ask yourself why s*x is so high on your list of priorities that you are sitting glued to your phone for hour after hour. There are so many facets to this topic, but I'm only going to talk about one here... THE NEED FOR THAT ENDORPHIN RUSH.
When we get positive attention we get a spike of feel good compounds, and when we engage in s*xting, receive explicit pics, we get more... and the thought of engaging in actual physical body to body only heightens the release of those compounds... let alone finally catching up and being able to follow through to a heavenly release!
From that point of view, the sitting for hour after hour eking out an interaction to feed our release of feel good compounds makes sense.
BUT, we are doing ourselves a disservice. We are 'dumbing down' our s*xeual selves from complex amazing s*xual beings, to grunting unsophisticated troglodytes. We become a s*xual being that is just looking for that 'next hit' of feel good compounds. It's an addiction.
I see this as fairly common theme in my clients who seek me out for S*x Therapy. And while we do cover many other aspects of this topic in our sessions as well, I commonly see that many gay men do not have 'extra curricular activities' outside of the triangle of eat, sleep, work.
One of the many ways to help release yourself from the cycle of sitting for hour after hour on the apps is to pursue an interest, find a group to join and interact with, an activity that you enjoy. For me, I dance in several different genres, and I laugh, sweat, interact, practise and spend my time enjoying that... and my body gives me that hit of feel good compounds that I was using s*x and sitting on the apps to get.
Once you lower that need for s*x in your list of priorities, you'd be amazed how much your attitude towards it changes to a more healthy one, both mentally and physically. You become less needy for it, and the less needy you are then the more confident you are as you can stand more readily in the centre of your own s*xual self.
Being chilled and casually confident about your s*xual needs and what you want, as well as what you are happy to give to others, means you see those red flags earlier and are more likely to engage with interactions that are more fulfilling :-)
If you have any topics you want to discuss of a s*xual nature, then book a S*x Therapy session and come and see me in my Home Clinic in Yarraville:
www.massagegays.com.au/book-online
