28/02/2026
My word for February – HELPLESS
I laughed a little when helpless was the emotion that tested up for me for February. Mainly because it was so bloody accurate. I have felt helpless for the most of this month. Not because I’m not surrounded by amazing people offering, their support, mostly because people really couldn’t do too much to help given the circumstances, and our main sources of support were helping others during those times as well. So life was really life-ing.
February has been a month of hospitals, waiting and illness on steroids for us. Oh and washing. Alllllll the washing. The real MVP for February is my old LG washing machine. But now that I’ve bought attention to it, it too will probably pack it in.
So how do I reconcile a month from hell? Just keep swimming Dory – Just keep swimming. And try to think about what I’ve learnt, what I’m proud of and what I can do to continue to grow
So, here are my takeaways:
- I already knew this, but it was kind of further cemented – Luke is a phenomenal father. His patience and fortitude in managing Bill in and out of hospital was brilliant. And it’s only now that we are at what I hope to be the other end of it all that I can see that I did good in choosing him.
- That I am beyond exhausted. Sadie is 11 months old today and it has been a brutal time – on many levels. But I continue to be absolutely astounded by a mothers ability to give more, even though – there is LITERALLY NOTHING LEFT IN THE TANK.
- My village. Through feeling utterly helpless at times, I have relied on my village – the one I have set in stone from years gone by and the one I am now creating here. It is hard to be vulnerable in seeking external help – but we are actually meant to live that way – not in silos like we have been made to believe.
- I HAVE to find a way for me to get some brain space to do what I love, but more importantly what I need. Movement, kinesiology, homeopathy, swims, friends, eating nice food, sorting photos. The last one on that list may seems fickle – but I love photos, and they all just sit on my phone – not being anything, and that makes me sad.
- Relationships – at times they are tough, but one thing I will absolutely give Luke and I credit for is that we don’t give up. We show up each and every day for each other and with each other – and that isn’t something to be glossed over. We are a good team. He is so laid back he is horizontal and I’m on the other end of the spectrum so we even each other out. You know, yin to the yang and all that s**t.
- I just remembered – amongst all of the stitches and spew and hospital trips I taught two days of Kinesiology. And I love teaching. Those days really cemented that. I never really thought I have much to share or teach, as I still see myself as a 19 year old chick trying to navigate the world who rings her mum to ask how to get a stain out of a top. And look whist I’m still ringing my mum for those tid bits (I text her the other night at 2.40am when I was riding the porcelain bus and said that she was my mum and that is why I was texting her at 2.40am to tell her the whole house had gastro. Her response was ‘At 7.40am from one mum to another sometimes it’s not much fun being a mum’) I am also turning 45 this year (what the actual f**k) so maybe I do have a bit of life advice to impart.
- Oh and today I have paid off a big tax debt I had from Dan era (thanks mate, you’re the gift that keeps on giving) – and for that I am beyond proud, because man that was a thorn in my side.
So as March, marches in (my humor hasn’t been spewed out friends – it remains intact), please don’t flood my feed with ‘we are nearly a quarter of the way through the year’ posts – because I’m still trying to finish the sandwich I made in January.
My emotion that tests up for March is: RELEASE. And wow, even just reading that I felt my shoulders relax. Further releasing what is no longer needed.
Alright friends – I had better go and sort out the emotions for February and March for my darlings in the Clear. Align. Create program and give them the tasks to clear and storm on in. If you’re keen for an emotion – then flick me a DM and I’ll send you the link to join - $29, that’s it.
Oh and if you’re still reading – a beautiful friend – Danielle is turning the big 5-0 today, and whilst I can’t be there to celebrate with her because I am still getting spew chunks out of my hair – I’m sure she will love the public announcement of her milestone! Love you Dan.
