Navigatus - Psychotherapy services

Navigatus - Psychotherapy services Reg. Therapist:
* General Psychology
*Grief and Loss
* Ambiguous Loss
*Mental Health

Let It Sink: The Art of Letting Go When a Relationship Sinks🌊 Sometimes ships sink for many reasons.⛈️Some are torn apar...
09/07/2025

Let It Sink: The Art of Letting Go When a Relationship Sinks

🌊 Sometimes ships sink for many reasons.
⛈️Some are torn apart in violent storms.
🚢Others rust away slowly from neglect.
Some go down because of arrogant captains.
And some — well, some were never built to survive the long voyage.

⚡️Some endings come like a storm —you see them brewing, the sky darkens long before the first crack of thunder.
Others arrive quietly, like a shipwreck in still waters, a natural part of life's ebb and flow. No crash. Just silence.
It just… sank.

💙The point is: the sinking doesn't always have a single cause.
Even if it did, would knowing it really change the fact that you're now floating among the pieces???

💔When relationships end, it's rarely a clean break.
We find ourselves drifting among the wreckage, trying to piece together what sank us.
🤔Was it me? Was it you?
Were we both slowly drilling holes in the same hull, blaming each other for the leak?

🆘️ I often speak to people caught in that desperate search for answers...

❌️Acknowledgement. ❌️Validation.
❌️Blame.
❌️Closure.

🤿Like divers scouring the ocean floor for a missing bolt, they believe it could’ve held everything together.
But those things — those pieces—are often best left to the deep.
⚫️Not because they don’t matter, but because clinging to them keeps you in dark places — totally submerged by the darkness of it all.

😪 Heartbreak leaves behind a strange kind of silence. Not a peaceful silence, but a hollow one.

The kind that echoes with all the words left unsaid and the questions left unanswered.

🙅‍♀️We want answers.
🙅‍♀️We ache for validation.

However, not all relationships end because someone failed.
Sometimes they end because they simply couldn’t hold any more.
Maybe it was incompatibility.
Unhealed wounds.
Captains who took on voyages they weren’t trained for.
People who grew, just not in the same direction.

🧭 Trying to assign blame becomes a compass spinning in circles.
We get stuck on the fact that it sank, as if naming the exact cause might bring it back to the surface.

However, what we need isn’t blame; what we need is release from its burden.
Not blame – Direction.

⤴️A way forward.
Even if we don’t know where it leads yet.

🤷‍♀️How do we navigate the wreckage — the aftermath of the storm?

🪶You float.

🏊‍♀️You don’t have to swim right away.

✨️Let yourself drift.

🕙Give it time.

🟢 Give it space.

Let yourself feel the grief of the loss.
Then, when you're ready, gather what still floats —
The parts of you that remain.

💝 Your values.

💝 Your dreams.

💝 Your goals

💝 The lessons you wish you didn’t have to learn this way.
🚣They become the beginning of a raft.

You may not know where you're going yet — and that’s okay.

🎨The future is a canvas waiting for your brushstrokes.
🗺🚫There is no map for healing. It’s never linear.
Only the gentle pull of time, the kindness of others,
and the heartbeat within your own chest to guide you.
________________________
🔚Maybe it wasn’t supposed to end this way.
Maybe you both tried, in your own broken ways.
But the ship still sank.
And here you are — heart heavy, hands trembling,
eyes stinging from salt and memory.

💧 Let it.
💧Let the silence speak. 💧Let the pain say what it needs to.

Then, when you’re ready, turn toward what still floats.

🫂 You 💙

It is not the same you who set sail, but the one who knows what it costs to stay afloat.

🔭You’ll find land.
And if you find yourself sitting in the quiet after the storm, asking:
“How do I rebuild my sense of self now that the ship has sunk?”
You're not alone in that question — many have asked that.

In my next blog, I’ll gently explore practical ways to begin again —
to reconnect with your dreams, your worth, and your life after the loss.
Healing isn’t just about letting go —
It’s also about learning who you are when you no longer have to keep it all together.
Stay tuned.
🥰 Dedicated to everyone who trusted me with their story. From my heart to yours x
XX

Be that green flag 🟩💚💚 It’s essential to distance yourself from relationships that don't nurture or support your growth ...
06/07/2025

Be that green flag 🟩💚

💚 It’s essential to distance yourself from relationships that don't nurture or support your growth while cherishing those that do.

✂️Remember, it's not always necessary to completely cut people out of your life; sometimes, it’s about finding the right balance of space, which can vary from person to person.
(* Obviously, when it becomes abusive, ties need to be cut)

Take care of yourself and others on this journey.












Unlike some human relationships, animals offer non-judgmental companionship. 💛This can help rebuild trust, self-esteem, ...
05/07/2025

Unlike some human relationships, animals offer non-judgmental companionship.

💛This can help rebuild trust, self-esteem, and feelings of being worthy of love. (We have a lot to learn!)

🖋Studies show that mutual gaze between companion animals and humans can increase oxytocin levels in both species (Nagasawa et al., 2015).🥰🥰🥰

🐕🐈🐴 Substantial research shows that bonding with animals—especially companion animals like dogs, cats, and horses—can trigger powerful emotional and hormonal responses and have psychological benefits.

🥰 Unconditional positive regard






02/07/2025

I wholeheartedly recommend this program to anyone who feels weighed down by past experiences or the actions of others and the pain you cause yourself.

It truly offers a wonderful opportunity for growth and transformation.

We all experience hurt, both in giving and receiving it, often without realising the impact. If you say, "X has hurt me so bad, " you must remember times when you hurt others, too.

It is very rarely just a one-way street. However, you don't need to pay for your part forever, nor do you have to "overown" others' behaviour just because you will do anything to make things work.

I found this course to be life-changing. It has profoundly shifted my perspective on navigating my feelings and relationships, especially the more challenging ones.

If you're struggling to understand the motivations of others, or feel.stuck I encourage you to start here. Remember, this journey is for your own well-being. You deserve it. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️





When You’re the Villain in Someone Else’s Story.Villains, Valiants, and the Bravery to Begin Again💔Not every relationshi...
29/06/2025

When You’re the Villain in Someone Else’s Story.

Villains, Valiants, and the Bravery to Begin Again

💔Not every relationship begins on steady ground.
Some begin in survival mode—where two people, each carrying their own bruised histories, meet with broken or injured hearts.

😠They don’t mean to clash, yet sometimes, it happens anyway.

🧭It’s like two broken compasses trying to navigate the same map.
Each trying to move forward, but is pulled off course by past pain, old beliefs, or buried expectations.

🔄When you're lost in your own terrain, it's hard to read someone else’s directions with clarity.

😢 Missteps become misunderstandings.
😶Silence becomes a story.

🗣Before you realise it, roles are assigned: the villain, the misunderstood, the one who never shows up quite right. The critic. The toxic. I can't stand X. The wall. The fixer.

⏬️We reduce each other to roles and labels because it feels safer than holding the full complexity of another hurting human being.

🏷In the aftermath, it's easy to hold tight to those labels.

To believe the version of the story that hurts the least—or fits the best.

🌤However, relationships aren’t static. And neither are we. People change.
Sometimes, it takes years before a conversation finally spills open.
😢Before the dam breaks and one person dares to name what’s been simmering inside, while the other must listen—really listen—to what they couldn’t see at the time.

🌅The truth is, we don’t always choose not to see.
Sometimes, we’re simply unable to.

🖤When both people are fragmented—grieving, depleted, or deep in survival mode—it becomes nearly impossible to see the whole.

🔎We respond through the lens of pain or protection. We misread intentions. We brace instead of receive. It’s not that we don’t care—it’s that caring becomes harder to access when you’re holding yourself together with a threadbare thread.

🤷‍♀️In those moments, we don’t mean to hurt each other. But we do. Not with cruelty—but with absence. With misunderstanding. With silence that sounds like judgment, and gestures that miss the mark. What gets left unspoken can quietly harden into resentment, confusion, or emotional distance.

🫆That’s why repair is such sacred work.
It’s not about perfect clarity—it’s about coming back to the table with more capacity, more willingness, and more truth than we had the first time.

🫂If you value connection, your instinct might be: I’ll do anything to fix this.
But that’s where another kind of reckoning begins—an internal one.
There’s a fine line between making amends and making yourself disappear.
Taking responsibility is brave.
“Overowning” what was never yours to carry is not.

The challenge is to repair what’s broken without patching over it with self-erasure.

🥰There’s bravery in saying: I didn’t get it right.
And an equal bravery in saying: I see your effort, and I’m willing to try again.

⏰️This is the uncomfortable middle—the place between blame and belonging.
It’s not clean. It’s not quick.
💫However it’s where real connection begins to grow roots—through
🫶 mutual effort
🫶 shared accountability and the courage to
rewrite 🖊the story without casting permanent roles and labels.

🤔Perhaps most of all, I've learned that hurting sometimes works like a mirror.

🪞If you’re willing to look—beyond the sting of your own wounds—you begin to see someone else’s pain staring back.

Sometimes, you weren’t as far apart as you thought.

Both carry the same hurt, but are just shaped by different stories.

❌️We are all, at times, someone’s villain.
❌️We are all, at times, our own.
✅️However we are also the ones who can choose to be brave enough to begin again.

“It takes courage to admit when your compass was off—and even more to recalibrate it beside someone else’s. Two broken compasses can still find their way, if both are willing to pause, realign, and walk the map together.”












Robert the Bruce: The Man Who Betrayed—Then Chose to Make Amends🤺“Not all heroes start with honour.Some begin with betra...
24/06/2025

Robert the Bruce: The Man Who Betrayed—Then Chose to Make Amends

🤺“Not all heroes start with honour.
Some begin with betrayal—and still choose to return.”

Today, many honour Bannockburn—not only as a decisive battle for Scottish independence, but also as a reminder that some of the fiercest battles are not fought with swords, but within ourselves.
💔The battle to face what we’ve broken.
🫂To take ownership of the harm we’ve caused.
🥰To return—not as a hero, but as someone willing to make it right—and then act.

🤺Robert the Bruce didn’t begin as a flawless hero; he carried the weight of betrayal.

🕳Betrayal is one of the most brutal truths to live with—especially when you’re the one who caused it.
🕳It’s a word that clings to the skin, that distorts identity.
♒️The ripple effects are disastrous—as so painfully depicted in Braveheart.

🪨It is a heavy word.
⚔️Heavier than any sword.
🛡Heavier than the armour we wear to protect our hearts and minds.
🏴Betrayal doesn’t just break trust—it breaks the self.

Robert the Bruce didn’t retreat to a cave just to hide from the world.
😶‍🌫️He hid from the weight of what he’d done.
From the trust he’d broken.
From the men who once followed him—and the cause he’d abandoned.

Caves don’t silence conscience.
Eventually, he had to face the one person he couldn’t outrun or hide from:

HIMSELF

That’s the brutality of betrayal—
not just that it breaks others, it breaks you.

❌️He betrayed allies.
❌️He broke promises.
❌️He turned away when he was most needed.
❌️❌️And worst of all—he betrayed Wallace.
A man who believed in him. Trusted him with his life.
A friend who fought for the same dream.

There’s a kind of betrayal that doesn’t need words—just a look.
Like the moment the mask was lifted on the battlefield, and Wallace saw the face beneath it.
😰Recognition.
😱Shock.
😭Trust that didn’t scream—it just stopped.

Betrayal isn’t always loud.
Sometimes, it’s the silence between two people who once trusted each other.
The moment you’re fighting with everything you have—
and realise the one who should be beside you
is standing on the other side.
😭How awful.
😱 How heartbreaking.

Yet even after all of it, in that dark, lonely cave—something must have stirred in him.
💫The possibility of redemption.
To face everyone he betrayed.
👑To become not just a king, but a reminder that people can change.

That’s where the deeper courage lies—not in the fight for independence.
The moment he faced the truth of what he’d done.
He didn’t rewrite history to make himself look better.
He walked back into the ruins of trust and said, I will face this anyway.

In psychology, we know that shame thrives in silence.
However, healing requires the opposite: ✅️✅️OWNERSHIP✅️✅️

Accountability is not self-condemnation—it’s the beginning of becoming someone different.
Someone striving to be better.
And that choice—however late—still matters.

So, if you’ve made choices you regret…
↩️If you’ve turned away when you should’ve stayed…
💔If you betrayed the person who loved and trusted you the most…
🤥If you lied when you should have told the truth—not once, but many times, just as Robert the Bruce did.
🗣When you spoke words you can’t unsay.
😶When you stayed silent, and speaking up mattered most.
🪞When you protected your image instead of someone’s heart.
😰When fear made you choose comfort over courage.
💔When you broke something that can’t be put back the same way again.
🪞If your reflection sometimes whispers, “You don’t deserve a second chance”

🪶Let this meet you gently.

Redemption isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about having the courage to face it—
and still choose to return.
Not perfection, but the power to choose differently.
⬆️To rise after betrayal.
🖋To own your mistakes.
👷‍♀️To pick up the pieces.
🕳From hiding in caves to wearing a crown.
From losing battles to leading a nation.
From shame to sovereignty.

Maybe that’s what made Robert the Bruce’s story unforgettable.
Not the crown.
Not the victory.

The moment he chose to stop hiding.
He didn’t deflect or blame.
🤺He stood before the very people he had betrayed—those who had every reason to walk away—and took full responsibility.

That kind of accountability is rare, because it asks more than an apology—it asks for presence.
And in doing so, he showed us something powerful:
That redemption is not about erasing the past, but about carrying it with integrity.
About becoming someone who can be trusted again—not through perfection, but through different behaviour.

The path back won’t be easy.
Shame will whisper that you’re unworthy.
And trust? It’s not a switch you flip—it’s a slow, layered rebuild.
Healing begins the moment you stop hiding.

When you choose presence over protection.

When you let your actions speak, what apologies can’t carry.

You may not be able to undo the past—
However, you can still become someone who walks forward with honour.

And that?
That is its own kind of victory.

So now, ask yourself gently:
🔍What patterns are you still repeating?
🔍What damage have you left unacknowledged?
🔍What would it take—not to be believed right away, to live in such a way that your integrity speaks louder than your shame?

🫶Betrayal doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
🛑However, accountability must be the beginning of your return.















What does it look like to CONTROL your thoughts? According to Psychology it is- 🛑 Forcing yourself not to think certain ...
23/06/2025

What does it look like to CONTROL your thoughts? According to Psychology it is-
🛑 Forcing yourself not to think certain things- " I shouldn't feel this way"
❌️ Suppressing or Avoiding uncomfortable thoughts- pushing them down like a beach ball underwater, the more you push the more force it creates to come back up.
🔄 Arguing with your inner critic or trying to "posetive think" your way out of intrusive thoughts.
🔁 Obsessively monitoring your mind for "wrong" or "bad" thoughts, trying to replace them immediatly
🫡 Judging yourself harshly when "negative" thoughts come back.

🚨These approaches usually backfires. The more we suppress, fight, or control our inner world, the louder and more stubborn they become.
🫶

When YOU are no longer YOURSELF💔Disconnection from ourselves is often the last thing we notice — but the first thing we ...
20/06/2025

When YOU are no longer YOURSELF

💔Disconnection from ourselves is often the last thing we notice — but the first thing we feel. It pulls at us relentlessly, not with chaos, but with an alarm: the dull ache, the rising frustration, and the subtle grief that whispers:

“This isn’t where I belong.”

🌬 It creeps in quietly, disguised as busyness, masked by routine..Then one day,
You stop—or life stops you—and you feel it.

⌛ That sharp, sobering moment when you realise the time you have left is less than what you’ve already lived.
And worse—that too much of that time was spent living out of alignment with who you are and who you want to be. It hits like a grief: not for what’s gone, but for what you abandoned in yourself to get there.

In that moment, you know—you cannot give away one more minute.

🚫Not to roles that shrink you.
🚫Not to places that drain you.
🚫Not to people or relationships that take and don't give back. (Whatever the reason, I can hold space when others are empty, life can drain you, but its the ones who dont make the effort, we dont stay empty forever)
🚫Not to expectations that silence the voice within.

Your time is not a resource for others to define. It is the soil in which your purpose must finally begin to grow.

❇️And here’s the truth we so often forget:
We have the power of choice.

To pause.
To turn inward.
To reconnect.
To change direction

⏰ It doesn’t happen overnight.
When you’ve been disconnected for years, reconnection takes time.
↗️However, it also brings direction.
You will no longer feel chronically depleted, scattered, or lost.
↪️You will begin to return.

🏠It’s like coming home to your own house after a long absence.
Yes, the rooms will be dusty.
Yes, the garden will need tending.
Yes, it will take work.

But you’ll be home.

Reconnection begins with honesty —acknowledging the places within us that feel
🥹 neglected.
🥹 silenced
🥹 misaligned.

🚶‍♂️That is the first step:

💡Awareness.💡

✅️Then comes CHOICE
✅️Then ACTION

And yes, as I mentioned before, there will be work.
But it will be YOUR work.
On your land.
In your house.
With your hands

And you will be home.
💝 And that is everything.
Home is where the heart is












Imagine being a lighthouse on a rocky shore. You shine, you signal, you call out into the night—but the ships pass by wi...
10/06/2025

Imagine being a lighthouse on a rocky shore. You shine, you signal, you call out into the night—but the ships pass by without turning, or worse, they don't even see the light.

That’s what it can feel like when we’re trying to express something important, and it doesn’t land. The tragedy isn’t in being alone on the cliff—it’s in the silence after your light goes unnoticed.

🚨Loneliness Is Not the Absence of People but the Absence of Connection

Carl Jung once wrote, “Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.”

This quote reveals something profoundly human: that connection is not built by proximity but by understanding.

Loneliness often hides in plain sight—at family dinners, relationships, and crowded rooms. It's not about whether people are around us but whether we feel seen and heard by them.

At its root, loneliness can signal a communication gap:

🤫 The inability to share what deeply matters and, 🙅‍♀️sometimes, the pain of not being truly heard, supported or understood.

🌁So, how do we bridge this gap?

✅️ First, we learn to speak our truth clearly. That means digging beneath vague feelings or rehearsed scripts and expressing what we actually need, feel, or fear.

This isn’t easy.

It takes courage to be vulnerable, to say,
“This matters to me,” or
“I feel lost,” or
“I need your support.”

Communication doesn’t begin with perfection; it begins with authenticity.

❤️ On the other side, there is listening—not the passive kind, but the kind that sets aside assumptions and makes space.

Many of us hear to respond, not to understand. When someone shares something close to their heart, they don't need advice or correction—they need presence.

❤️ Compassionate listening validates the other’s experience without needing to fix it.

Connection is a two-way current. Just as we yearn to be understood, so do others. When we become both brave speakers and tender listeners, we become the lighthouse and the ship that steers toward the light.

In a world where everyone is signalling in their own way, our ability to understand and be understood might be our most healing force.

Genuine connection doesn’t require perfect words—just the willingness to show up, speak gently, and listen deeply.
Connection 🫶








**MANIPULATION** **CONTROL**Not all boundaries promote well-being.“If a boundary leaves no room for dialogue, it may be...
02/06/2025

**MANIPULATION**
**CONTROL**

Not all boundaries promote well-being.

“If a boundary leaves no room for dialogue, it may be a defence rather than a limit.”

💡When boundaries are established without self-awareness or sensitivity to others, they can unintentionally become instruments of control and manipulation.

🧱They are not walls isolating others; they can be seen as doors with locks and keys.

✂️You don't have to sever every connection in the name of boundaries. You can explore alternative paths or ways to navigate those connections differently.

⚖️While boundaries can provide protection, they shouldn’t feel like punishment.

⚖️Healthy boundaries should be flexible agreements born from open and safe conversations.

🫂They aim to safeguard connection just as much as they uphold personal integrity.

🫶Healthy boundaries stem from clarity, not fear, from healing, not division.

🛑While some boundaries—especially physical or emotional safety—are essential and non-negotiable,
other boundaries greatly benefit from

❤️compassion
❤️reflection
❤️communication,
❤️and care.

A genuinely healthy boundary is not about imposing punishment; it’s an invitation to connect with mutual respect.

Prioritise connection over control.

🫶🧡xx







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