11/11/2025
Headache for the last few days and got to keep going right? because mums have to keep going. Working responsibilities, parenting responsibilities, partner responsibilities. Everyone needs are immediate. Mum can wait? 😏 what a day, I experienced all the emotions like how Melbourne has four seasons in a day today. From panicky to forgetful to joyful to raging. I haven’t felt this all over the place in a long time. Is this perimenopause?
The rage I felt when I got shook woken from a nap I needed badly all because someone cannot find his boat. And his little person big feelings lead to everyone asking me where the boat is. I was napping, do I know where the boat is? No. Then I look around, everyone is on their devices and chilling out because they are EXHAUSTED from school. Their joyful, relaxed faces in slow motion, smiling. I turn to the kitchen and I see the 3 pots still waiting, the lunchboxes stacked up. I felt a tightening of my chest and heat grew in my chest.
What did I do? I went to rage cook dinner cos they still need to eat right? I can’t just storm out of the house because my Asian self-sacrificing woman roots run deep, even thought I have been meticulously working on chopping those roots off over the years to put myself on equal importance. After rage cooking, there was the rage washing. Amidst this, little people are asking me for things. There is 3 other big people in the house but of course they ask the one that is busying. And I know what you are thinking, “Girl, you need to ask for help…” I did, but help was delayed because help had an important game to finish.
Raging self sacrificing woman got it done, storm out of the house and got my body moving. Because that is healthy outlet, move the rage out of the body. After 20 mins of interval running, the sweat is pouring, and the rage has moved. I starting counting dates and realise I am mid-cycle and Oestrogen has living plummeted in my body which kinda explains my Melburnian weather-like mood swings today. If this is perimenopause, please send help. Or wine 🍷 should work too? 😂
Meditation Teachers rage too.