My ADHD Helper

05/05/2024

Hi all…I’ve just posted this over on

I AM MERGING MY ACCOUNTS….so head over there if you want to keep it going with me 🤗

Hi friends…a little update from me.

After a few months break, I’m making a gentle return to my socials. Here’s some things to know:

- I’m pretty convinced extensive social media use isn’t healthy for us

- I will limit my own use, and therefore won’t post content every day

- my aim is to be useful, primarily to my existing clients, and so my content is based on my experiences in session

- many of my clients have attention deficit issues, and so some content will be on that topic, and I am mindful that hyperfocus on social media is also not helpful for that population, so if that’s you, I encourage you to discuss in session some of the limits you want to place on this area of your life.

- if you want a fast response from me, the best way is via my contact information on my website, not the chat in instagram. I am streamlining how I engage.

12/01/2024

02/01/2024

DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is a type of therapy that often assists with emotional regulation.

One DBT strategy that may help with rejection sensitivity is using a behaviour chain analysis.

Behaviour chains analysis looks to improve a target behaviour (a behaviour/reaction you don’t like, for example, socially withdrawing and going into a depressed state). Here is a brief outline - please remember this isn’t therapy…this is something you might want to discuss with your therapist…

[Identification] Recognize situations triggering rejection sensitivity.

[Emotional Response] Understand emotional reactions to perceived rejection.

[Thought Patterns] Analyze thoughts and interpretations during rejection scenarios.

[Behavioral Chain] Break down the sequence of behaviors leading to or following rejection fears.

[Consequences] Explore consequences of actions and emotions, identifying reinforcing or punishing factors.

[Alternative Responses] Develop alternative, healthier responses to rejection triggers.

[Skill Building] Focus on enhancing coping skills and self-esteem to manage rejection sensitivity effectively.

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31/12/2023

[REJECTION SENSITIVITY + NEW YEARS] it’s to be expected to take it hard if you haven’t been invited/included in social events. It’s to be expected if you’ve been invited and feel incredibly anxious. It’s to be expected if you want to do something but also feel like your social battery is low/feel scared to initiate/don’t know what to do.

I don’t have a solution for your particular set of circumstances, but I do know self compassion will help create a healthy way forward in whatever you choose. Don’t put too much weight on this one night. You will go to sleep, and tomorrow it will be Monday, and that’s it. Be kind to yourself around all the other complexity/meaning of New Years.

PS: I’m normalising some couch/movie and an early night 😂🥳

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08/12/2023

[RSD+Mindfulness] mindfulness can assist with our feelings of rejection in a number of different ways.

1. Helping to regulate our emotions.
2. Helping increase frontal lobe activity, so we can think more clearly.
3. Assisting to give us space and perspective from the immediate trigger.
4. To prevent impulsive reactions.

rejection sensitivity is so powerful, that we may find we react to it very quickly, and sometimes in regrettable ways. Mindfulness can help moderate these reactions, so that you have an outcome, which better lines up with your values, that intern, can help prevent a loss of self-esteem , from impulsive responses

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30/11/2023

RSD can cause social anxiety within us. Often a response to this is to avoid social interactions, or avoid contact with people who we care about, to avoid the pain of the RSD itself.

The challenge with this is that avoidance actually increases our relationship to anxiety. To help with this, it’s really important to do some gentle exposure to social interactions. You can try the following:

1. Write a list of 10 different types of social interactions.
2. Put these interactions in order of most stressful to least stressful.
3. Start with at least stressful event, and choose to perform that behaviour, at the same time, practising relaxation, and emotional regulation techniques. You can see some of these in my previous posts.
4. Keep practising the less stressful events until you get a handle on having good healthy thoughts, and good regulation strategies. Then you can move up to something a little more stressful.

Start soon… Christmas is likely to mean exposure to social events which will be tricky, so if you start now you will be able to build this muscle before you’re faced with big, social events!

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28/11/2023

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is an emotional response characterized by an intense fear of rejection, criticism, or disapproval from others.

- Individuals with RSD often experience heightened emotional reactions to perceived rejection, even if it's not explicit or intentional.

- Symptoms may include intense anxiety, avoidance of social situations, and a strong desire for approval and acceptance.

- RSD is commonly associated with conditions like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and can impact interpersonal relationships, causing individuals to be overly sensitive to perceived slights.

Do you experience RSD?

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26/11/2023

[SELF ESTEEM SUMMARY] I’m starting to wind up this series on self-esteem so we can move on to our next topic. Here is a list of some of what we’ve covered.

1. Self-esteem is how YOU view yourself. Low self-esteem may mean you have difficulty recognising all the amazing qualities that you have, and you will have to work hard to see those.
2. Self-esteem is developed through positive experiences, positive feedback, healthy relationships, self, reflection, and acceptance, setting and achieving realistic goals, self compassion, resilience, living according to your values, and mindfulness.
3. People with inattentive ADHD types, have lower self esteem
4. People who have untreated ADHD, have low self-esteem.
5. Emotional injuries related to ADHD in childhood, may mean that you develop certain core beliefs. These may negatively impact, self-esteem, and most often for people with ADHD there is a belief that they are a failure, and that they are socially isolated. We call these beliefs schemas, and they can be changed with good therapeutic support.
6. Part of rebuilding self-esteem may mean surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage you. Previously, you may have been attracted to people who talk down to you in the same way you talk down to yourself.
7. Setting, small and realistic goals can be a really good way to build an increase self-esteem, as you achieve these promises to yourself, the way that you view yourself may improve. It is important to not overdo it, just start small.

Is there anything that you’ve done recently that’s helped improve your self-esteem?

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