The Female Brief

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The Female Brief

Hello and welcome to The Female Brief! My name is Emily, and I am a psychologist and founder of life

14/03/2024

While people--pleasing can lead to many problems - burnout, regret, lack of boundaries - my BIGGEST problem with people-pleasing is that it often results in compromising on your authentic self.Your authentic self is about who you really are and what you really want. When we are people-pleasing, we are acting in line with what someone else wants or being a version of ourselves that is acceptable to them.

The thing is, we might be scared to embrace our authentic selves - what if others react badly, or even worse, reject us?

In my latest blog post on overcoming people-pleasing, I share with you some strategies for dealing with FEAR, GUILT and AVOIDANCE when it comes to people-pleasing.

You can check out the or head to https://thefemalebrief.com/people-pleasing-traps-and-how-to-spot-them/

13/03/2024

Classic people pleasing is about always doing what someone else wants, which really boils down to a lack of boundaries. Often, people pleasers will compromise on what they really want or feel comfortable with, leading to feelings of being upset and regretful in the long term. 😢❤️‍🩹***While it might seem simple to just ‘put a boundary’ it really isn’t - especially in a moment of pressure! So, as a therapist I often remind my patients to not rush into saying yes. If someone makes a demand of you, simply asking for some time to think about it already puts down a boundary and gives you the breathing space to make a better decision. 👏
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If you know already what someone wants or needs from you, then you can decide in advance what your boundary should be. Simply by deciding on that boundary, and talking it through with a trusted friend or family member, will help you to then lay down that boundary IRL ! 💕
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If you want more tips on how to cope with people pleasing - at work, in a relationship and on the dating scene, then head to my blog https://thefemalebrief.com/people-pleasing-traps-and-how-to-spot-them/

08/03/2024

Saying no is the WORST for people-pleasers 😤 Often, this can come from a good place - like wanting to be helpful and generous- but a lot of the time, the inability to say no comes from a lack of firm boundaries.So, a good start is reminding yourself of what those boundaries are (and why you have them in the first place!)

Then, try to make space for that discomfort of saying 'no.' It feels icky and weird, but it passes eventually. Tell yourself that you can cope with it till it goes away..

And finally, if the first two options aren't working for you, consider whether a compromise can be met. Maybe it's a no this time, but a yes next time. Maybe you can soften the 'no' (as long as that is a healthy and safe thing to do!) Maybe you can say no but offer help or support in another way. It's just about getting creative here!

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If you want more tips on how to manage people-pleasing, and stop falling into those people-pleasing traps, head to my blog www.thefemalebrief.com

07/03/2024

New blog post 📣📣 All about people-pleasing traps and how to spot them! ***I talk about people-pleasing traps in:
★ The workplace
★ A relationship
★ Dating

The desire to please others is very human! After all, we all want to be liked and accepted. But people-pleasing is taking that too far, and when you start compromising on your boundaries, values and authentic self! 🥰

In this post, I share with you how people-pleasing is really motivated by fear, guilt and a strong need for approval. I also share some tips for how to overcome these barriers and free yourself from people-pleasing! 👏👏

or click https://thefemalebrief.com/people-pleasing-traps-and-how-to-spot-them/

03/03/2024

👏 👏👏 A quote from the founder of attachment theory, John Bowlby. I've done a deep dive into attachment research and how to change your attachment style in my latest blog post

Check it out! https://thefemalebrief.com/attachment-styles-and-relationships/ or

02/03/2024

Want to learn more about attachment styles? 🥰🤓 The three dominant attachment styles (anxious, avoidant and secure) can explain a lot of why we feel certain things in a relationship, or explain why we might struggle with relationships!Check out my latest blog post on www.thefemalebrief.com

01/03/2024

Anyone can develop a more secure attachment style, through building understanding of attachment styles and changing some key behaviours 💃🏻Secure attachment is really the key to feeling valued, loved and safe in relationships 💜💙💛

If you want more info on how to develop a secure attachment style, check out my latest blog post ➡️➡️ https://thefemalebrief.com/attachment-styles-and-relationships/

💕

29/02/2024

New blog post 📣 Attachment styles are so fascinating 😮 They explain some of the reasons why people might be more anxious or distant in a relationship...AND help us figure out the kinds of relationships we are drawn towards...AND the parts of a relationship we might struggle with 💘

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Read my blog post if you are interested in finding out...

💙 What are the three main attachment styles
🖤 Where do attachment styles come from?
❤️ How might someone's attachment style trigger yours?
💜 How to change your dominant attachment style

Check out the or click here ➡️➡️➡️ https://thefemalebrief.com/attachment-styles-and-relationships/

19/02/2024

I have a new blog post out! It's all about why we should expect LESS in a relationship ‼️💕💫I know what you're thinking... that's crazy! Why should we compromise on our standards of others? Why should we accept less than perfect? If we give, don't we deserve to receive back?

And while all of that might be true, it's also possible that our expectations in relationships can lead us into trouble, when we find ourselves being entitled or constantly disappointed.

While we should never let go of our expectations completely, by deciding to adjust and lower them, we might find more appreciation and good feelings in our relationships.

If you are struggling with feeling disappointed by others, or want to learn more about how to adjust your expectations in a relationship, then head to my blog → → https://thefemalebrief.com/expecting-less-of-others-the-secret-to-a-healthy-relationship/ or the

14/02/2024

My latest blog post is all about how to fix a codependent relationship dynamic ❤️💜💙💗As a couples and relationship therapist, I see how codependency can really get in the way of individuals reaching their full potential. Instead of living a balanced life, people can become consumed by their romantic relationships. They can easily neglect their friends, family, hobbies and ambitions. Ultimately, this leads to feeling confused about who you are and what is important to you, outside of the relationship. And if that relationship ends, it can lead to hurt, regret and a lot of damage to your self-worth.

In my blog post, I explain why it is so easy and tempting to fall into a codependency dynamic, especially at the beginning of a relationship. I also share some ideas for how to change a codependent dynamic!
or click here ➡➡ https://thefemalebrief.com/what-is-codependency-how-to-fix-a-codependent-relationship/

13/02/2024

Happy Valentines Day to my community at The Female Brief 💗🥰Excited to keep writing about love, life and relationships over on my blog

And, for now, let me leave you with one of my favourite quotes on life and love:

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” - Audrey Hepburn

12/02/2024

New blog post alert 📣 Excited to share with you my latest article on 'What Is Codependency? How to Fix a Codependent Relationship' ‼️😮This controversial topic has been on my mind a lot lately, as both professionally and in my personal life, I see the way people change when they enter into a relationship.

I talk about the signs that a relationship is becoming codependent, and even if you think you are codependent, what are some ways you can develop and strengthen your personal identity!

Codependency shouldn't be a taboo topic - we know that it happens, and even the most independent of people can become anxious, dependent or neglectful to their own needs or others when they enter a relationship.

The idea is that we balance our love for our partners, with a healthy amount of self-love and self-awareness.

Find out more about codependency and relationships at the or my blog https://thefemalebrief.com/what-is-codependency-how-to-fix-a-codependent-relationship/

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