22/07/2024
INSECURE ATTACHMENT IS WOUNDED POLARITY
If there is attraction, there is polarity… Always.
But what that polarity is, and how it plays out, really depends on what is driving it.
Just like a magnet
Attraction is always to an opposite
A feminine being yearns for her masculine
A masculine being pursues his feminine
Attraction is not rational, however.
And, sadly, the nature of this day and age
Has given us more kinks
Than we know how to handle.
The masculine…
So stoic, so independent, so freedom focused
When wounded
He does not know how truly embody this freedom
Instead he pushes away, hides his feelings, becomes untouchable.
In a man, or a woman, we call this:
Avoidant.
The feminine…
So receptive, so intimate, so relationally focused
When wounded
She does not know how to truly relax into intimacy
Instead she clings, overshares her feelings, becomes needy.
In a woman, or a man, we call this:
Anxious
These two poles… avoidant and anxious
They dance together in a dysfunctional tango of suffering
Push and pull
Break up and make up
It’s hot, but it’s also not.
This is a polarity.
The wounded masculine fights for his freedom at the expense of any relationship.
The wounded feminine fights for connection at the expenses of herself.
Together they tear apart any possibility of the true depths of intimacy available.
Because in order to find attraction with our mate,
We always need polarity.
And if we haven’t healed our nervous systems.
Haven’t discovered how to bond as integrated adults.
Then what you will find is this wounded dance.
Where love withers and the petals of hope fall without renewal.
To truly know the possibilities of masculine and feminine polarity though
Is to grow beyond the insecurity.
Passion thrives in Secure Relating.
~Damien Bohler
Art: Finders Keepers
Empower Wholeness Intimacy
https://EmpowerWholeness.com
