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Hold My Hand Parenting I am here to hold your hand through all those tough parenting moments. I share information about ear

Isn't this incredible?!?! 🌏🧑‍🍼🌏👩‍🍼🌏👨‍🍼🌏🌏 Even in languages as different as English, Cantonese, and Russian, adults insti...
11/10/2022

Isn't this incredible?!?! 🌏🧑‍🍼🌏👩‍🍼🌏👨‍🍼🌏

🌏 Even in languages as different as English, Cantonese, and Russian, adults instinctively use the SAME exaggerated, melodic pattern of speech when interacting with a baby!

💬 Let me know in a comment - did you know that the way adults talk to babies is almost universal?? 👇

👍 There are some specific features of how we talk to babies that really help with language development:
✅Speak slower than you do with other adults, so words are clear
✅Use simple, grammatically correct sentences
✅Use your voice to emphasise key words with pitch & intonation
✅Take turns in the interaction, waiting for baby to respond with eye contact, expressions, movements, and sounds

👎 Other habits, like using made-up words, cutesy pronunciations ("lellow", "wawa"), not talking in proper sentences, can actually make it HARDER for babies to learn language, speech and communication skills

But the *most* important thing, always, is simply to talk to your baby as much as possible 🧡

What parenting moments do you find it hardest to stay calm? 😤🫠😬
29/09/2022

What parenting moments do you find it hardest to stay calm? 😤🫠😬

If you've ever had to dodge a broom in the grips of a toddler 🧹, held your breath as tiny hands carried  an actual glass...
17/09/2022

If you've ever had to dodge a broom in the grips of a toddler 🧹, held your breath as tiny hands carried an actual glass 🫙, or negotiated with a preschooler who wanted to use a *proper knife* 🔪, this is for you!

🤩 Young children are innately motivated to join in with family life & imitate what they see us doing.
🫤But often, parents don't allow small children to participate in household tasks because they aren't competent yet...
⏳Instead they wait until kids are older to then enforce chores... right at the age when kids are losing that intrinsic motivation! 🤦‍♀️

Every child & home is different, so consider what will work for your family... 🤔
📬 whether your letterbox is on a busy highway or in an indoor apartment lobby will effect the age that your child can fetch the mail on their own.
🥣 setting & clearing the table might depend on whether you use plastic or breakable plates & cups, or even if your sink is ceramic!
📏 how tall your child is will impact how early they can do some tasks, because they need to reach counters, hooks & cupboards.

🧡 Let me know in the comments - what tasks do your children participate in?
🧡 What would you add or change in these lists?
🧡 Are your children doing similar chores to what you did as a child?

Are you struggling because modern life is simply not designed for wriggly toddlers? 🫠🤩 Sure, it would be *ideal* if we c...
14/09/2022

Are you struggling because modern life is simply not designed for wriggly toddlers? 🫠

🤩 Sure, it would be *ideal* if we could always plan for life to perfectly match their need to move... but that isn't reality! 🦄🤥🥸

😎 Instead, let's adjust the expectations of our children, AND the expectations of ourselves.

Here are 4 things we can do to help things go *as smoothly as possible* when our wriggly kids have to sit still for a meal out, worship service, car or plane trip, etc.
🐒 The most important step is to be really honest about what your child is developmentally capable of. The best thing you can do here is to UNDERESTIMATE how long they can last! Plan for their worst day, not their best. If other people's expectations are likely to be a problem (which they often are 🙄) make sure to let them in on what to expect & what your plan is.
🐒 Factor in ways to give your toddler LOTS of big, whole-body movement before they have to sit still, to fill their physical/sensory "cup". Remember: movement is how young children regulate their emotions!
🐒 Have fun, engaging items on-hand to capture their attention while they sit. Ideally include options that they don't usually see or get to use, but remember that the most engaging option might be your environment: if cutlery, talking to a stranger, or exploring the seat-back tray capture their interest, go with it!
🐒 Small, in-seat movement & sensory input can give kids a little of what their body needs in order to prolong the time between proper breaks. Squeezing, pushing, pulling, and even eating crunchy foods can be helpful: just make sure to do it *before* your child gets restless!

🧡 Share this with someone who needs it, and if you have go-to activities for *sitting still*, pop it in the comments for other parents who might need it! 🪑🪑🪑

When we can be a calm presence for our child through all of their emotions,⭐️ they see that we can handle their tough fe...
11/09/2022

When we can be a calm presence for our child through all of their emotions,
⭐️ they see that we can handle their tough feelings, and learn that they can too
⭐️ we provide the space & energy for co-regulation
⭐️ we lay the foundations for them to be able to self-regulate as they get older!

How do you describe your parenting style?There are loads of terms that get used here on social media, but if we want to ...
06/09/2022

How do you describe your parenting style?

There are loads of terms that get used here on social media, but if we want to talk meaningfully about parenting style it's most common to use this ☝️☝️☝️ framework.

There are 2 features that define your parenting approach:
🔹 how responsive you are to your child's needs
🔹 how demanding you are - setting limits & expectations

🫥Neglectful parenting doesn't respond well to children's needs, and doesn't set limits or expectations. As you can guess from the name, this isn't a healthy dynamic for children ❌

⚖️ Authoritative parenting, in comparison, balances being highly responsive to needs, with clear limits & boundaries.

📈Research shows that an Authoritative parenting style is associated with a wide range of positive outcomes for children, including secure attachment to caregivers, self-esteem, social competence, independence, and performance at school.

And, ALL of these common parenting "styles" would be classified as Authoritative!
✨ gentle parenting
✨ positive parenting
✨ respectful parenting
✨ conscious parenting
✨ responsive parenting
✨ kind parenting

Like this post if you learned something from it, and let me know in the comments what parenting terms you identify with! 💬💬💬

Happy Father’s Day to everyone celebrating today 🧡
04/09/2022

Happy Father’s Day to everyone celebrating today 🧡

How do your kids get along?❌ Set aside any expectation that if you just get it right, your kids will be harmonious best ...
01/09/2022

How do your kids get along?

❌ Set aside any expectation that if you just get it right, your kids will be harmonious best friends. Every sibling dynamic is it's own unique relationship, and as a third party, we can't control it.

Whether your kids are more 👯 or 🤼, there ARE some things you can do to help support them to build a healthy relationship - not just with each other, but for every future relationship they will have.

👨‍👦 Nurturing the relationship you have with each child individually not only supports their sense of self, but it protects against a common source of conflict: the perception that they might be competing for your love or attention.
🚦Avoid some of the daily conflict by setting up systems, so nobody feels like biased decisions are being made. Maybe one kid picks the music on the way to school, the other on the way home; put a timer by the trampoline; identify the house rules for different games or routines.
🤝 Help them practise healthy & respectful conflict: guide them through the process of acknowledging how everyone feels, exploring to understand perspectives, and prioritise working together for solutions.
🌟 Notice when they are getting along! Honest recognition for kind & thoughtful behaviour is powerful. You can even sneakily create opportunities - nothing bonds kid better than teaming up against parents!

Drop an emoji in the comments to share how your kids are getting along right now...
🤼👯🫶☯️☢️👻

Do you apologise to your child?
24/08/2022

Do you apologise to your child?

Does your child turn into an acrobat 🤸‍♀️or a tornado 🌪 when it's time to sit still?The fact is, toddlers are not built ...
19/08/2022

Does your child turn into an acrobat 🤸‍♀️or a tornado 🌪 when it's time to sit still?

The fact is, toddlers are not built to sit still 🤷‍♀️
We need to have developmentally appropriate expectations of our kids, and set aside any pressure on ourselves to magically bypass this stage 🪄

Remember: all this movement
🌪 is necessary for their emotional regulation
🌪 builds their brain structures
🌪 is how they master fine and gross motor skills

💬 Leave a comment to share what sit-still activity your child really struggles with! 👇

Does it feel like they save the tantrums just for you? 😫It might feel that way, but I promise that these after-school (o...
13/08/2022

Does it feel like they save the tantrums just for you? 😫

It might feel that way, but I promise that these after-school (or daycare) meltdowns are
👍 developmentally appropriate & expected
👍 an indication of how safe they feel with you

An entire day of care or school requires SO MUCH effortful control from our kids. That's things like
⚙️ listening & following instructions
⚙️ negotiating interactions & cooperating
⚙️ waiting & taking turns
⚙️ coping with loud/busy spaces
⚙️ being still...
Young children are only just developing & practising these skills - they only have a limited amount of self-control, and by the end of the day, it's gone 🪫

It's like that saying, "you can't pour from an empty cup" - your child's cup is empty, and they need your support to fill it back up a little before we ask anything more of them 🫗

Does your family struggle with post-pickup meltdowns? What strategies & recovery activities work for your child?

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