12/12/2023
Shadow Work for family gatherings: Survival Tips for the Holidays
Shadow work progress feels particularly tested during family gatherings.
After spending considerable time working on ourselves and healing from past traumas, once we're back in our familial environment, it feels like we’re back to square one.
Old patterns, unresolved dynamics, and familiar triggers resurface, reflecting parts of ourselves we thought we had worked through. ‘
What an invaluable opportunity for real-world application of our inner work.
These interactions can serve as a mirror, offering us deeper insights into what’s left in the dark.
The universe has a tendency to test us a few times to see if the healing is truly integrated.
Shadow Work Survival Tips for the Holidays
Everyone has textbook Family members who don’t work on themselves.
They show signs of resistance towards our growth because they usually have an attachment to the old version of us they once knew. But like snake skin, we’ve already shedded.
It is our responsibility to communicate our boundaries and wishes. To make things easy, It’s good to acknowledge your shared past in a positive light with them so they don’t feel like they’re being called out, as people like this tend to become defensive very easily.
Boundaries: To navigate these situations, especially with family members who knowingly or subtly push boundaries, it's important to establish and maintain clear personal boundaries. This could mean setting limits on topics of conversation, the amount of time spent in certain discussions, or even taking a step back when needed.
Example: “Hey, I know we used to do some heavy banter back in the day and call each other cruel names because that’s the only way we knew how to bond but I realised that it isn’t healthy for me to entertain habits that we learnt from our abusive father. “I’m open to discovering other ways connect or have fun if you’re interested.”
Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can be a powerful tool; it helps in recognising when old patterns are being triggered, allowing us to respond consciously rather than reactively. Noticing the ego get triggered, taking a step back and becoming the observer of the ego. Remember, it's okay to take a break from social interactions to regroup and centre yourself.
Affirmation: Reaffirming your progress and acknowledging that healing is not linear. Most importantly, approach these situations with compassion for yourself and your family members, understanding that everyone is on their own journey with their unique challenges.
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