Amanda Hallam Couples Counselling

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Amanda Hallam Couples Counselling I’m a Couples Therapist and am passionate about supporting couples to feel more connected

There’s nothing small about being real.It takes guts to show up without the mask.It’s not polished.Not always pretty.But...
17/07/2025

There’s nothing small about being real.
It takes guts to show up without the mask.

It’s not polished.
Not always pretty.
But it’s honest.
And that’s rare.

To be seen without the armor
That’s not weakness.
That’s courage in motion.


Vulnerability isn’t about falling apart and waiting to be saved. It’s about choosing to be seen when it would be easier ...
16/07/2025

Vulnerability isn’t about falling apart and waiting to be saved. It’s about choosing to be seen when it would be easier to hide. And that’s not weakness. That’s power!

Not all conflict is toxic but not all conflict is healthy either.Sometimes it brings partners closer.Other times, it mak...
14/07/2025

Not all conflict is toxic but not all conflict is healthy either.

Sometimes it brings partners closer.
Other times, it makes one person doubt their memory, their emotions… even their reality.

This post breaks down the key differences between gaslighting and growth, so you can recognize when a relationship is helping you heal or quietly hurting you.

Swipe through to learn:
🚩 What gaslighting sounds and feels like
🌱 What healthy conflict actually looks like
❤️ Why real love should make you feel safe not small

If something feels off, trust that feeling. You’re allowed to ask for emotional safety.

“Follow for more insights on healthy love + relationships ”

“Ready to talk it through? Book a session today."

https://calendly.com/amandahallamtherapist/10-min-discovery-call?month=2025-07

Love doesn’t need to be loud to be real.It doesn’t need to be shared to be valid.And the most meaningful parts of your r...
14/07/2025

Love doesn’t need to be loud to be real.
It doesn’t need to be shared to be valid.
And the most meaningful parts of your relationship will never be the ones the world claps for.

They’ll be the quiet check-ins.
The ugly-cry conversations.
The compromises no one ever claps for.
The growth you do together when no one's watching.

So post the cute stuff if you want to—there’s nothing wrong with celebrating love.
But don’t let the camera dictate your connection.
Don’t perform love. Practice it. Privately. Intentionally. Imperfectly.

You don’t owe the world your relationship.
You owe each other your truth.

“In the age of oversharing, real intimacy hides offline.”

This quote doesn’t just define gaslighting it reframes it.When someone says they love you, but consistently twists your...
13/07/2025

This quote doesn’t just define gaslighting it reframes it.

When someone says they love you, but consistently twists your words, denies your experiences, or makes you feel like the problem for expressing pain, that isn’t love. It’s control.

Gaslighting isn’t a communication style.
It’s a tactic.
One that erodes trust, autonomy, and self-worth over time.

In contrast, love real love honors your perception, makes room for disagreement, and values your emotional safety.

If you’ve been made to feel like your needs are “too much,” or that your memory can’t be trusted, this quote is a reminder:
You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. You’re being manipulated.

And you don’t have to stay in that cycle.

Sometimes I catch myself acting like the “best version” of me in a relationship. Saying the right things. Smiling when I...
09/07/2025

Sometimes I catch myself acting like the “best version” of me in a relationship. Saying the right things. Smiling when I’m uncomfortable. Hiding parts of myself because I’m scared they’ll walk away if they see the whole picture.

But honestly? That version of love feels exhausting.

I don’t want something that only works if I’m always performing.
I want the kind of love where I can be soft, messy, confused… and still chosen.
Where I can take the mask off and still be met with “I see you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Because real love starts there. Not when everything looks perfect… but when it finally feels real.

“Are you in love or in character?” 🎭In a world of performative dating (👀 Love Island fans, you feel this), it’s easy to ...
08/07/2025

“Are you in love or in character?” 🎭
In a world of performative dating (👀 Love Island fans, you feel this), it’s easy to confuse connection with curation.

If you find yourself overanalyzing, under-sharing, or striving to “appear perfect,” pause and ask:

❤️ Am I being seen?
🧠 Or just trying to be liked?

👉 Swipe through for 3 subtle ways performance shows up in relationships and what to do instead.
✨ Save this for when you need a gut-check.
🧠 Want to explore how to show up fully in love? Let’s talk.

https://calendly.com/amandahallamtherapist/10-min-discovery-call?month=2025-07

Emotional dismissiveness doesn't always look dramatic.Sometimes, it's a quiet shrug. A sigh. A "You're overreacting." A ...
04/07/2025

Emotional dismissiveness doesn't always look dramatic.
Sometimes, it's a quiet shrug. A sigh. A "You're overreacting." A "You're too sensitive."
But over time, these small invalidations add up and the cost is high.

🧠 When your feelings are constantly brushed aside, you begin to doubt them yourself.
💔 When you're met with silence instead of support, intimacy erodes.
😶 When your vulnerability is met with dismissal, you stop opening up.

Emotional neglect isn’t always loud but it’s deeply damaging. It doesn't just create distance; it creates loneliness within the relationship. And that silence? It keeps conflict unresolved and intimacy stalled.

Let’s normalize this conversation:
✅ Validating emotions isn’t about agreeing it’s about listening.
✅ Holding space doesn’t require having all the answers it requires presence.
✅ Healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free they’re emotionally safe.

➡️ Do you feel emotionally safe with the people closest to you?
➡️ Have you ever caught yourself dismissing someone’s emotions without meaning to?

Let’s grow more emotionally aware because connection starts with compassion.

’tInvalidate

03/07/2025

Dismissiveness might feel small, but it quietly destroys emotional safety over time. When our feelings are brushed aside or ignored, we learn to protect ourselves by shutting down and not sharing. This kind of emotional neglect causes real pain and slowly breaks the trust that intimacy depends on. In the end, intimacy fades when we no longer feel truly seen, heard, or valued by those we love.

Ask yourself: Are you truly listening, or just waiting to respond?

Avoiding conflict doesn’t keep the peace it just delays the problem. Bottling things up might feel easier in the moment,...
03/07/2025

Avoiding conflict doesn’t keep the peace it just delays the problem.
Bottling things up might feel easier in the moment, but over time it leads to resentment, disconnection, and emotional burnout.
And constant fighting? Just another way of avoiding the real issue by turning up the volume instead of turning inward.

Truth is: fighting and avoiding are both extremes. One explodes. The other quietly erodes.

Real growth happens in the middle through honest, respectful conversations.

That’s where understanding deepens, trust rebuilds, and relationships get stronger.

So if something’s bothering you say it. Not to blame. Not to win.
But to be real. To be heard. To hear them.

Healthy conflict isn’t the problem it’s the pathway.

We avoid conflict because we’re afraid of tension, rejection, or being misunderstood. But the truth is, avoiding it ofte...
03/07/2025

We avoid conflict because we’re afraid of tension, rejection, or being misunderstood. But the truth is, avoiding it often causes more harm than the conflict itself.
Unspoken feelings don’t disappear they fester.
Resentment builds. Trust breaks down. And the emotional distance grows.

On the flip side, constant fighting doesn’t resolve anything either. It just becomes noise that drowns out what really needs to be heard.

The real path forward? Constructive conflict.

Speak honestly, not harshly.

Listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.

Aim to understand, not just to respond.

Healthy conflict isn’t about who’s right it’s about staying connected while working through differences. That’s where real growth happens.

So next time something’s bothering you, ask yourself:
Am I avoiding this to keep the peace... or just avoiding the discomfort?

Say what matters. Say it kindly. Say it now.

The best relationships aren’t effortless.They’re built, day by day, by two people who keep choosing each other.Love that...
28/06/2025

The best relationships aren’t effortless.
They’re built, day by day, by two people who keep choosing each other.

Love that lasts isn’t built in the easy moments it’s built in how we treat each other when things get hard. Dr. John Gottman says the strongest couples are the ones who stay kind and generous, even when they’re stressed or upset. That means choosing empathy over ego, connection over control, and softness in the middle of conflict. Real love is less about never fighting and more about how you show up when you do.

When things get tough, do you protect your partner’s heart or your own pride?

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