Life After IVF Counselling (2025)

26/10/2025

🌿 October 26 is Grandparents Day 🌿

Today, I want to honour those whose love crosses generations — for their child who hurts, for the grandchild who never arrived, or the ones who arrived but could not stay.

Grandparents are usually the silent hidden grievers of their children’s infertility and loss.

Their grief is ignored or overlooked because they may never mention it or they may have other grandchildren. But do you know when a baby is lost, no matter how many other babies there are, most grandparents grieve the one who isn’t here.

They feel the ache of what might have been and the endure the pain of watching their own child suffer.

Theirs is a double heartbreak – for the grandchild they’ll never hold, for the child they can’t protect, for the pain they can’t fix.

Society rarely recognizes their sorrow. They’re told to “stay strong,” to “be there for the parents.”

But who’s there for them?

When a son or daughter is childless not by choice, the grief is quieter…
No baby. No funeral. No photos.
Just the invisible loss of a future imagined.
And sometimes, the silence is deafening as child and grandparent don’t know what or how to say what they want to.

To all the grandparents who loved a grandchild they never met and hold space for their children’s grief —
I see you,
I honour you,
and I know your love lives on.

If you are a grandparent grieving in silence Life After IVF, holds space for you also.

Reach out if you want a confidential space to talk. Contact details at www.lifeafterivf.com.au

grief

15/10/2025

💖At 7pm tonight Melbourne time, I will be lighting a candle for my twins Claudia and Chloe who are my inspiration and my motivation every day.

Two tiny heartbeats who couldn’t stay
But forever changed how I live today
A love so profound
It became my solid ground
Grief changed from longing to giving
Claudia & Chloe, you are my everything.

Who are you lighting a candle for tonight? Please share in the comments.

, , , , , , , ,

14/10/2025

📣Wave of Light at 7pm local time on October 15th is a globally recognised event to remember and honour all babies gone too soon.

As loss parents across the globe light their candle, we join hearts to remember our love in a 24 hour wave of light reaching across the world. 🕯️💞

At 7pm your time, I invite you to join me in lighting a candle for an hour to remember your baby and / or embryo.

In this time of shared remembrance, hope, and love, we know that we are not alone.

I will be lighting my candle for Claudia and Chloe, and for every baby who left too soon.

I invite you to post your candle at 7pm and tag me so our lights connect around the world.

12/10/2025

📣This PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant loss) week I want to highlight a loss in the infertility journey that is not often spoken about.

The deep unrecognised sadness of losing embryos or the pain of a cycle that produces no embryos.

In a clinical world, where we speak of cells, cycles, transfers, blastocysts, gametes,…. it is often forgotten (or ignored) that these tiny cells may have held a lot of hope, love, and dreams of a future.

When an embryo fails to develop, implant, or survive, the loss is real. When an embryo does not eventuate, there are many secondary losses that arise from the sacrifices made during that cycle.

These losses of a future imagined, is grief. And like any other grief, it has the right to be mourned. You are allowed to feel anger, sadness, grief, frustration, fear, …whatever feelings arise that are related to your grief.

In a world that ignores this silent pain, it is ok to listen to your heart that dared to hope. Because, if like me, your love began the moment you imagined that first dividing cell, you had imagined a future filled with love which did not come to be.

And every love deserves mourning when it ends. 🤍

Did you give yourself permission to mourn embryo loss? Do let us know in the comments.

If you didn’t at the time, it is never too late to do so now.
Reach out if you would like to explore more. My contact details are at www.lifeafterivf.com.au

10/10/2025

📣Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness week creates community. A time to come together to acknowledge our losses, our strengths, and our love.

Research says that grief that is not acknowledged, known as disenfranchised grief, can lead to isolation, withdrawal, feeling stigmatised, shame, blame, and guilt.

The power of being seen by people who “get infertility and loss” either 1 to 1 with a therapist, in a support group, or a community event says
• your babies mattered
• your love matters
• you matter
• you are not alone
• your feelings are real
• I will sit with you in the muck without trying to fix you

Connection with others in this community
• offers language to voice feelings
• provides comfort through shared rituals
• brings H.O.P.E – hold on pain ends
• reminds us that we feel loss because we first felt love.
• is a living example of how we too can get through this

Has connection helped you heal? Do let us know in the comments or tag a friend or group who has helped you heal

09/10/2025

📣9 October marks the start of Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness week 2025.

For those of us who are or who have been on the , this may be a difficult week of reminders.

For those who lost pregnancy/s, for those who created embryos but didn’t achieve a pregnancy, or for those who were unable to create embryos - you are not alone. Your grief matters, your love for your much wanted children who never came to be matters, YOU MATTER.

💜 If you are grieving, know that support is available. Reach out to a therapist or a support group to walk alongside you in your healing.

💜 It does not matter how long ago your loss occurred — grief has no curfew. It is not bound by time or social expectations. Healing isn’t linear, and you are allowed to revisit your loss and love whenever your heart needs to.

💜 You may be a long way on your healing journey, but may still feel sad or triggered this week. Please know that healing doesn’t mean forgetting — it means learning to live alongside what still matters.

💜There’s no expiry date on love, and grief is love that has nowhere to go.

💜 Be gentle with yourself this week.

How will you show yourself some self-care this week? Drop a line in the comments.

09/10/2025

📣📣Support group for Oct, Nov, Dec 2025

This time of year, can start to get challenging as we face many child-centric activities and events. Holding the weight of our journeys and its many losses may be a lonely and isolating experience.

Come meet other childless not by choice people for a chat, cry, laugh, or simply to feel less alone.

Registrations are now open for 16 October, 20 November, and 18 December from 7.30pm – 8.45pm (Melbourne time).

Registration fee of AUD$10.00 (+ $1.53 booking fee) to cover administration costs. Link in bio or https://events.humanitix.com/living-with-childlessness-support-group

Register for any of the groups or all 3. It will be great to connect with you online.

Participant numbers are capped at 10 to maintain small group safety, so there may be waitlists.

Sessions are facilitated by Anne Altamore, lived experience counsellor and psychotherapist.

Note : Registrations are via Humanitix as 100% of Humanitix's profits are dedicated to charities providing life's essentials, like education, to humans worldwide which aligns closely with Life After IVF’s values.

02/10/2025

📣October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. This blog shares how community and connection helped me heal from the isolated grief of miscarriage and invites you to seek out your own space for connection.

Pregnancy loss is a sensitive matter. Everyone’s grief is as unique as their fingerprints.

Not everyone is comfortable or ready to share. Not everyone feels the deep intense grief I have voiced. But for those who are looking to know you are not alone, you are not broken, please reach out to wherever you feel most safe to be seen and heard.

This October
💜Learn all you can about grief and baby loss
💜 Reach out to someone who may be grieving — your presence can make a difference.
💜 If you are grieving, know that support is available. Reach out to a therapist or a support group to walk alongside you in your healing.
💜 It does not matter how long ago your loss occurred — grief has no curfew.

The words “there is no heartbeat” will always be part of my story. But now, so too are the words: you are not alone.

11/09/2025

After a bit of a break, I am resuming support groups on the 3rd Thursday of each month.

This time of year can start to get challenging as we face many child centric activities and events. Holding the weight of our journeys and its many losses may be a lonely and isolating experience.

Come meet other childless not by choice people for a chat, cry, laugh, or simply to feel less alone.

Sept 18 will be in the middle of World Childless Week. This may be a great opportunity to connect and chat about the submissions we have read or the webinars we attended.

Registrations are now open for 18 September from 7.30pm – 8.45pm (Melbourne time). Registration fee of AUD$10.00 (+ $1.53 booking fee) to cover administration costs. Link in bio or https://events.humanitix.com/living-with-childlessness-support-group

Participant numbers are capped at 10 to maintain small group safety, so there may be waitlists.

Sessions are facilitated by Anne Altamore, lived experience counsellor and psychotherapist.
Note : Registrations are via Humanitix as 100% of Humanitix's profits are dedicated to charities providing life's essentials, like education, to humans worldwide which aligns closely with Life After IVF’s values.

24/06/2025

Can you believe it is almost the end of June? If you are anything like me, you may be feeling a little tired as well as scrambling to get all those 2025 goals on track.
Energy is probably at a premium as you prioritize and plan for what is important for the rest of the year.

A great way to remember to prioritize self-care is to simply put the S E L F into what is needed.

Sleep is essential for our brains to function properly. Grief is exhausting and grief brain fog is a real thing. So, it is essential for people working through grief and / or on the to ensure you get enough sleep to stay healthy. While sleep needs vary from person to person, 7 hours is the general recommendation for adults.

From mood and energy boosting to weight management to combating health conditions the benefits of exercise to our physical and mental selves are many. The World Health Organisation states “any exercise is better than none” and recommends 150 – 300 minutes per week. So if we take an almost halfway point – it is about 30minutes per day. Not really a lot of time investment in terms of the benefits achieved, is it?

Looking forward might just be my favorite part of self-care. Whether it is an activity, a goal, or simply downtime, having something to look forward to as part of your daily or weekly self-care routine boosts mood, and can provide a sense of optimism and motivation. Maybe this part of self-care is the reward for all the other “must dos” in your week?

Fuel for the body through a healthy diet is well known. What about fuel for the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your life through mindfulness, reading encouraging books, and emotional fuel which are the things that keep you connected to yourself.

What are your thoughts on the SELF in self-care? How can you put your unique SELF into your self-care?

15/06/2025

📣Male infertility is not often spoken about. While it can account for anywhere from 20% to 70% of people undergoing infertility treatment, most of the research, conversations, and psychosocial support focusses on the woman.

While there has been much conversation and research into the psychological and social aspects of infertility in women, the psychosocial consequences of infertility for men are less well understood or discussed.

This blog – “It’s not her. It’s me” - The deafening silence of male infertility – discusses some of the issues in why there is so much silence and suggests some ways a therapist may be able to help with the grief, loss, and other issues that may arise.

It is important to remember and be aware that each and every one of us has an “iceberg” of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that relate to our individual IVF journeys. There are things that are above the surface that are seen and may be supported, and there are many more items below the surface that are hidden but could still be impacting wellbeing.

What does your iceberg look like? Do you need a safe confidential space to explore if and how these are impacting your wellbeing, identity, and relationships?

Please know that you are not alone, you are not broken, you are not less. Working with a therapist who understands male infertility is important to help you help yourself to heal, to create your own unique identity, to build grief muscles.💖

You can read more at https://www.lifeafterivf.com.au/blog/maleinfertilityandchildlessgrief

15/06/2025

📣The has so many ups and downs. The rise and fall of hope of a liveborn take home baby is present every day while we are on this journey whether we are in an active treatment cycle, awaiting next steps, or making decisions.

These factors all impact our wellbeing and our relationships. Very rarely do two people in the relationship cope and grieve in identical ways. Not feeling supported can give rise to conflict.

Another area not often discussed is grieving the loss of embryos. For some, these are very much the spark of hope for dreams of a future, and the loss of embryos whether by attrition, or failure to implant is real grief. For many of us, we get this news while at work and must move through our day meeting our obligations as if nothing has happened. I know I had to….many times.

Whatever your situation, know that any feelings you have on this journey are real and you have the right to grieve your losses – primary and secondary. (More on secondary losses in another post).

The comforting news is you do not have to go through this journey alone. Life After IVF is now supporting people who are experiencing loss and relationship issues while on your IVF rollercoaster not just when you have finished treatment. Please reach out if you would like to have a no obligation 30 minute conversation to see if we can work together.💖

Life After IVF Counselling

26/10/2025

15/10/2025

14/10/2025

12/10/2025

10/10/2025

09/10/2025

09/10/2025

02/10/2025

11/09/2025

24/06/2025

15/06/2025

15/06/2025

Address

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share