30/07/2023
I’ve blocked out large parts of the last 3.5 years, particularly the last year. A pretty typical trauma response. People will talk to me about something that happened, and it’s just a blank. But I feel safe now, and the memories are coming back. Last night my friend Liz reminded me that when I was in hospital last year she flew out thinking I might already be gone by the time she arrived, something I hadn’t really appreciated. And that triggered a memory of lying on a hospital bed in one of those awful hospital gowns being told that if I wanted to say goodbye to anyone I had to tell them to get on a plane and come immediately because I didn’t have long.
And yet here I Am.
Yesterday, after a lovely afternoon lying in the sun, and a BBQ with the 2 wonderful people who’ve taken me under their wing whilst I find my feet, I sat quietly for a few hours and watched the sun go down, feeling indescribably grateful to be here. There’s something exquisite about the Alive-ness that I feel now. Moments are so expansive I get glimpses into infinity. I exist in another dimension that I can’t put words to. And I Am free.
Life is magical. And Miracles are real.
💜🐲💜
&life
Details of VOL I are here:
https://www.tntabc.com/buy-book
VOL II is here:
https://janemarshall.substack.com/archive
