
26/11/2020
Worthiness and Shame...
Are you living wholeheartedly or are your shame gremlins getting in the way of your self worth? Wholehearted men and women believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Worthiness has no pre-requisites but many of us say “weelll I’m kind of worthy of love and belonging but I’ll reeally be worthy of love and belonging if I get this qualification, when I lose ‘x’ kg, if I get promoted, if I stay sober, if my partner isn’t really cheating, if my kid gets into ‘x’ uni, when I’ve done x, y and z, when I get through a, b and c...” We have a litany of pre-requisites for worthiness and those pre-requisites are our shame triggers. They are handed down or programmed from early childhood and we pick up a few more along the way in school or through society’s conditioning. We might not have been directly shamed or put down for the things that trigger our shame but we may have observed the beliefs or concepts in play within our family. For example the connection between the belief about laziness and constantly being driven to do more, achieve more, be more. Our worthiness lives inside our story and many of us have orphaned some of our stories because we think they don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be. The problem is that orphaning stories and not owning them gives shame extraordinary power. “We either walk into the stories of our lives and we own them...or we stand outside our stories and we hustle for our worthiness”.