16/11/2025
When I screen for ASD/ADHD/Neurodivergence, I often see it as 3 domains of maladaptations or mismatch to the school and family systems in the younger years — a “fish out of water” or a “Mac in a Microsoft World” or a “Microsoft in a Mac World” experience.
1. Domain 1 is about whether you are an extreme “Thinking-biased” or “Feeling-biased” individual. Perception and/or action is more biased towards objective variables rather than more feeling-based or value-based variables. If you are 50:50, 40:60, or even 30:70, then there’s probably not too much of a problem. But if it’s more extreme, like 90:10, then there may be more adjustment issues with tension.
2. Tactical, Operational, or Strategic. In the early years, our parents and schools prefer us to get tasks done — hence, more “operational.” So if someone is more extreme in being tactical or strategic, with blind spots in getting the everyday stuff done (operational), then adjustment issues with tension are likely.
3. Are we inner-compass or outer-compass oriented? Outer-compass oriented is biased towards paying attention to the outer-compass i.e. doing what works in the world and what makes others happy. Inner-compass oriented is more about paying to the inner-compass i.e. doing things that are in line with our own thinking and values, despite the outside world. Our schools and parents tend to reward outer-compass orientation more in the early years.
So if someone is extreme in all 3 domains, then adjustment challenges will be very high, and anxiety might be the result — which complicates things further. Fish out of water.
Here, I would be suspicious of ADHD/ASD with secondary anxiety due to adjustment issues.
If extreme in domains 1 and 3, then I’m more suspicious of ASD.
If extreme in domains 2 and 3, and there are maladaptations, then I’m more suspicious of ADHD, with nuance in the various subtypes.
So metaphorically speaking, a “fish out of water” is going to be very troubled. It’s not the fish’s fault nor the environment. It’s the mismatch that is the problem.
The strategy is to understanding, self acceptance, maintaining self worth and seek/create the right environment for one’s way of cognitive wiring.
