Nixon Counselling & Psychotherapy

31/12/2025

Tonight is a doorway.

Not a finish line.
Not a verdict.
Not a neat ending.

Just a threshold.

You’re allowed to pause here.
To carry what mattered.
To set down what grew too heavy.
To be gentle with yourself about the parts of the year that didn’t turn out as planned.

The new year doesn’t ask you to become someone else.
It simply invites you to keep going.
To stay curious.
To notice small moments of kindness, steadiness, and relief.

Make resolutions if you want.
Or don’t.

Hope isn’t measured by perfection—
but by the courage to begin again.

Step forward slowly.
There are stories waiting for you.
Some you’ll write on purpose.
Some will surprise you.

Happy New Year.
May it be kinder than you expect—
and may you be kind to yourself as you enter it.

16/12/2025

🌱 Brain Development & Trauma: Why Early Experiences Matter

Our brains grow in layers, and each stage of development builds on the one before it.

When trauma happens—whether it’s chaos, neglect, conflict, or unpredictable care—it shapes the wiring of the brain in ways that can last into adulthood.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding, so healing can begin.

🧠 What Trauma Does at Different Ages

0–2 years (Infancy)
The brain is learning safety.
Trauma can create sensitivity to stress, difficulty soothing, and a heightened startle response.

2–7 years (Early Childhood)
The brain is building emotional and social wiring.
Trauma may lead to clinginess, big emotions, or trouble trusting adults.

7–12 years (Middle Childhood)
The logical brain is developing.
Trauma can cause concentration issues, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or fear of making mistakes.

Teen Years
The brain is pruning and reorganising.
Trauma may amplify impulsivity, identity confusion, shutdowns, or emotional storms.

Adulthood
We keep developing.
Trauma shows up as triggers, anxiety, overthinking, shutting down, or struggles in relationships.

These are not flaws.
They are adaptations—your brain found ways to cope.

✨ The Hopeful Part

Your brain is plastic, which means:

✔️ You can re-learn safety
✔️ You can build emotional regulation skills
✔️ You can change patterns formed in childhood
✔️ You can create secure connections
✔️ You can heal

Trauma-informed therapy supports the brain in rewiring itself through safety, repetition, compassion, and new experiences.

You are not “broken”—you’re rewiring.

11/12/2025

Healthy Boundaries at Christmas

The holidays bring joy… and pressure.

Pressure to show up, host, stay longer, spend more, keep everyone happy, and ignore what your body is trying to tell you.

Here’s your gentle reminder:

✨ “No” is a complete sentence.
✨ You don’t need to attend every event.
✨ Leaving early is allowed.
✨ You don't need to justify your choices.
✨ Rest is not a failure.
✨ You can choose peace over pressure.

Healthy holiday boundaries sound like:

🛑 “I won’t be able to make it, but thank you for inviting me.”
⏳ “We can stay for an hour.”
💬 “I’m not discussing that topic.”
🧘 “I need a moment.”
💝 “I’m keeping things simple this year.”

When you honour your limits, you protect your energy, your nervous system, and your relationships.

Give yourself permission to have a gentler Christmas this year.

05/12/2025

30/11/2025

Brain Chemistry

Ever wonder why your mood, motivation, and energy change throughout the day?

It’s not just you — your brain chemistry follows a natural rhythm. Different neurochemicals rise and fall across the day, affecting alertness, emotions, sleep, cravings, and focus.

🧠 Morning — Cortisol and dopamine boost motivation and help you get going
🌞 Midday — Serotonin lifts mood and supports calm focus
😴 Afternoon slump — Dopamine dips and adenosine builds, leading to fatigue
🌙 Evening — GABA and serotonin help the brain slow down
🌑 Night — Melatonin and growth hormones take over to support sleep and repair

🧠 Brain Chemical Changes Across a Day
🌅 Morning (Waking)

Cortisol

Peaks within 30–45 minutes of waking (“cortisol awakening response”)

Helps you feel alert, mobilises energy, sharpens attention

Too high = anxious, wired; too low = foggy, exhausted

Dopamine

Rises after waking

Drives motivation, goal-setting, curiosity, anticipation

Serotonin

Influenced by sunlight exposure

Supports mood stability, appetite, and early-day calm

Melatonin

Very low in the morning

Stops being produced as daylight signals “wake up”

☀️ Mid-Morning to Afternoon

Dopamine

Still active but may dip after lunch

Small achievements (ticking boxes, praise, novelty) boost it

Serotonin

Continues to rise with movement, social contact, and daylight

Helps regulate emotions, patience, and impulse control

Cortisol

Naturally declines after the morning peak

Gradual reduction supports sustained energy without anxiety

🍽️ Afternoon Dip

Many people feel:

Lower dopamine = reduced motivation

Lower serotonin = sensitivity, irritability, snack cravings

Higher adenosine = sleep pressure increasing

What helps:

Brief movement, protein-rich snacks, sunlight, social interaction

🌇 Evening

Serotonin

Peaks through calming routines, connection, and satisfaction

Dopamine

Drops — making concentrated work harder

Screens, social media, alcohol, or sugar can artificially spike it

GABA

Begins increasing

Helps the brain slow down and inhibits overthinking

🌙 Night (Sleep Preparation)

Melatonin

Rises as light decreases

Signals the brain and body to prepare for sleep

Cortisol

Lowest during night

Allows repair, digestion, memory consolidation

Growth Hormone

Peaks during deep sleep

Essential for tissue repair, learning, and immune function

💤 During Sleep

Adenosine

Clears out; this chemical builds during the day and contributes to sleepiness

Good sleep resets the system for the next day

🧭 In Summary
Time of Day Chemicals Rising Effects
Morning Cortisol, dopamine Alertness, motivation
Daytime erotonin, dopamine Mood balance, productivity
Evening GABA, serotonin Calm, relaxation
Night Melatonin, growth hormone Sleep, restoration

🔁 Why this matters

Understanding daily neurochemical rhythms helps explain:

Why mornings feel clearer

Why afternoons dip

Why nighttime can trigger overthinking if GABA is low or dopamine is artificially high

Why light, food choices, and social contact dramatically affect mood

Understanding your brain’s daily rhythm can help you work with your neurobiology — not against it.

26/11/2025

🎄💔 The First Christmas After a Loss 💔🎄

The first Christmas after someone we love has died can feel different in every possible way.
The lights are still bright, the music still plays, but something essential is missing.
And that emptiness can be louder than any carol.

If this is your first Christmas without them, please remember:

🌟 There is no “right way” to do this.

Some people keep every tradition.
Some change everything.
Some celebrate quietly.
Some don’t celebrate at all.
All of these choices are valid.

🌟 Grief doesn’t take holidays.

You may laugh one moment and cry the next.
You’re not “going backwards” — you’re grieving.

🌟 It’s okay to set boundaries.

Say no to events that feel too heavy.
Say yes to moments that feel gentle, meaningful, or comforting.

🌟 Create space for remembrance.

You might:
✨ Light a candle
✨ Find a "blue" service to attend in the lead up to Christmas
✨ Create a memories box
✨ Hang a special ornament
✨ Share a favourite story
✨ Cook their favourite dish
✨ Write them a letter

These aren’t about holding on to pain — they’re about honouring love.

🌟 You are not failing if you feel sad.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. You grief is in proportion to your love.
Missing them means they mattered.

This Christmas may not be the same — and that’s okay.
Let it be what it needs to be: quieter, softer, slower, or different.

Be gentle with your heart.
Your grief is valid. Your love continues. And you do not have to walk this season alone. ❄️❤️

20/11/2025

🌿 How to Handle Grief Triggers in Public Places

Grief doesn’t wait for the “right” time.
A song in a shop, a familiar smell, or a stranger who reminds you of someone you loved — and suddenly you’re standing in a public place trying to manage a wave of emotion.

If this happens to you, you’re not failing. You’re grieving.
Here are some gentle ways to support yourself in those moments:

✨ Take one slow breath.
A longer exhale helps calm the nervous system.

✨ Ground yourself.
Press your feet into the floor, touch your keys, or notice one thing you can see, hear, and feel.

✨ Create a small moment of space.
Step aside, pause near a shelf, or take a quiet moment in the bathroom. A few seconds can help you regroup.

✨ Name what’s happening.
Silently remind yourself: “This is a grief wave. It will pass.”

✨ Use an anchor object.
A ring, necklace, smooth stone, or even a photo can bring comfort.

✨ Let the emotion move.
Tears or a moment of heaviness are not a crisis — they’re normal human responses to loss.

✨ Have a simple phrase ready.
If someone asks: “I’m okay, just having a moment.”
A gentle plan reduces the anxiety around being seen.

✨ Leave if you need to.
Stepping outside or to your car is an act of care, not avoidance.

Grief triggers mean you loved someone deeply — not that you’re weak.
You’re allowed to take care of yourself, even in public.

18/11/2025

🌱 Therapeutic Thirds: Understanding How People Respond to Our Struggles 🌱

One of the most helpful ideas in therapy is recognising that the people around us usually fall into three groups when we’re going through something tough.

1️⃣ Supportive Third

These are the people who show up with empathy, curiosity, and care.
They listen without fixing, judge less, and understand more.
They’re safe to lean on.

2️⃣ Neutral Third

These people aren’t harmful, but they aren’t particularly helpful either.
They may not know what to say, may keep their distance, or may change the subject.
They don’t add support, but they also don’t undermine us.

3️⃣ Critical Third

These are the people who minimise, judge, criticise, or make your experience about them.
They sometimes create more stress rather than helping to relieve it.

💡 Why this matters:
When you start noticing who belongs in each “third,” you can begin to protect your energy, set boundaries, and seek support from the people who can truly hold space for you.

You don’t have to share everything with everyone.
Choose the third that feels safe. 💛

14/11/2025

Thoughts

You’re not responsible for your first anxious thought.
It arrives fast, automatic, and often completely out of the blue.
That first thought isn’t your choice — it’s your brain checking for danger, just doing its job.

But here’s where your power begins:
You are responsible for the second thought… and the first action.
The second thought is the moment you decide:
“Do I feed this worry?”
“Do I challenge it?”
“Or do I pause and breathe instead?”

It's this first action where change really happens.
It’s the difference between spiralling and grounding.
Avoiding or showing up.
Reacting or responding.
You don’t have to control every anxious thought.
You just have to choose what comes next.
That’s where your strength is.
That’s where healing starts. 🌿💛

26/10/2025

Unresolved emotions

Resentment is like pouring water into a mug every time something goes unresolved — even the smallest slight, disappointment, or misunderstanding. At first, it seems harmless. A drop here, a splash there. The mug looks mostly empty, easy to carry, easy to ignore. But every time we choose not to address what hurt us — every time we say, “It’s fine,” when it isn’t — a few more drops go in.

Over time, those little bits of unresolved emotion start to add up. The mug begins to fill, slowly and silently. You may not even notice the rising waterline until one day there’s hardly any space left for anything else — not for patience, kindness, or understanding. The mug becomes heavy, harder to hold steady.

Then something small happens — a minor comment, a forgotten gesture — and it’s just one more drop. But that one drop causes the water to spill over the edge. What pours out isn’t only about the latest moment; it’s the accumulation of every unresolved feeling that’s been building beneath the surface.

Resentment doesn’t need a big betrayal to overflow — it only needs many small hurts left unattended. And until the mug is emptied through honest conversation, forgiveness, or release, there will always be less room for anything new or nourishing to fill it.

-JN