Good Grief, PLLC

06/09/2025

06/09/2025

06/09/2025

**🌿 Understanding Our Kids: It’s Not About Choice 🌿**

Sometimes, we think our children are choosing to behave in challenging ways, but often, it’s not a choice at all. Kids don’t always have the skills to manage their big feelings, control impulses, or communicate their needs calmly. 💭

When they act out, it’s usually a signal that they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply lack the tools they need to cope. Gentle parenting recognizes that children aren't “choosing” to misbehave — they’re responding in the only ways they know how. 🧠💫

Instead of seeing these moments as defiance, we can view them as opportunities to teach and guide. By modeling patience and compassion, we help them build the skills they need to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.

So, the next time behavior feels challenging, let’s ask ourselves: “What does my child need to learn here?” rather than “Why are they acting like this?” 🤍

More information in my book
📖 Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

06/09/2025

25/08/2025

Five days of grief tips
Day five

We do not grieve the same way. Some people are more emotional than others, some keep it to themselves and are very private. That doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong. The only wrong way to grieve is when it’s unhealthy and causing harm, that is when I think we should intervene. Otherwise, I think we need to give people the space and permission to grieve in whatever way they need to, reminding them that they are not doing it alone and we are here for them.

We should never tell a person how to live, how to love, or how to grieve… it’s really none of our business. The fact that we are unique in our choices and with what brings us joy or pain, is one of the beautiful things about us. If we could learn to appreciate the different ways we feel, maybe we would be more sensitive to the feelings of others.

Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone, and it isn’t supposed to. One person may cry uncontrollably, while another stays quiet and composed, and both are grieving in their own way. Just because someone’s expression of grief looks different from ours doesn’t make it wrong, it just makes it different. We honor each other’s journeys best when we allow space for grief to take the shape it needs.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

25/08/2025

Five days of grief tips
Day four

Have you ever noticed how the air shifts when you say the name of someone who has died? The room grows quiet, eyes glance away, and suddenly your love for that person feels like a burden others don’t want to carry.

It’s strange, isn’t it? That grief, this tender ache of love that never left, can make everyone else so uncomfortable. And so, we learn to stay silent. We tuck away their names, their stories, the memories that shaped us, because it seems easier for everyone else.

For a long time, I did the same. I held back. I swallowed the words that longed to be spoken. But over time, I’ve learned something important: when I share the stories of my brother, my sister, my parents, my friends… when I speak their names, my grief softens. Their love lives on in every memory I dare to voice. Not everyone can hold that with me, and that’s okay. But some people can, and with them, I find breath again… and peace in my grief.

Be that person for someone. Be the safe place where a grieving heart can speak freely. Because saying their name doesn’t deepen the pain, it keeps love alive.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

I wrote a book of grief poetry…
You can find it here:
https://www.amazon.com/Never-Gets-Easier-Say-Goodbye/dp/B0DY4VJLFM

25/08/2025

Five days of grief tips
Day three

When someone we care about is grieving, our natural instinct is to reach for words of comfort. Most of the time, these words come from a place of love and kindness, but they don’t always land the way we intend. Grief is tender, and sometimes well-meant phrases can feel more painful than supportive.

For me, the truth is that grief doesn’t get easier. In some ways, it deepens with time as the reality of absence settles in. I’ve had to learn to live alongside that truth, rather than trying to “get over it.” The “better place” for my loved one would always be here with me, still alive.

When people tell me I’ll move on, or compare their grief to mine, I know they are trying to connect, but I can only speak for my own experience. Grief is deeply personal, and while we may share a similar loss, no two journeys through it are the same. Even when you’ve had time to prepare, that final breath always feels like it takes you by surprise.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is simple:
“I love you. I am here. You don’t have to do this alone.”

And just as important as words are the quiet gestures of checking in, again and again, long after the services are over. That’s where comfort truly lives.

Thank you for showing up with tenderness and care.

♥️
xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

You can find my book “Healing a Grieving Heart,” which I wrote as I began my own grief journey, here:
https://a.co/d/e3iAOn6

25/08/2025

Five days of grief tips
Day two

Grief does not end. It doesn’t fade away or disappear with time, no matter how much we may wish it would. I often think of it like running around a track: each year, we come back around to the mile markers that remind us of our loss. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and quiet moments that once belonged to the person we love, they return again and again. With each lap, we are reminded of the absence, and the weight of it is still there.

One of the greatest misconceptions about grief is that it gets easier, that time somehow heals the wound. The truth is, for many, it doesn’t get easier. It changes, but not always in the ways people expect. Each anniversary can feel heavier, not lighter, because it is one more year lived without them, one more year of memories they weren’t here to make with us. The love doesn’t go away, and neither does the grief.

Grief becomes a part of the fabric of who we are. It doesn’t mean we stop living, or that joy cannot exist alongside it, but it does mean that we carry the ache with us, mile after mile, year after year.

Maybe the most honest thing we can say is not that grief ends, but that it is proof of the love that never ends.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

25/08/2025

Five days of grief tips…
Day One

When someone we love is grieving, it can feel natural to want to say something comforting, something that lifts them up. Too often, though, we fall back on words like brave, strong, or courageous. While well-meaning, these words don’t always land the way we hope. Grief is not a test of strength or a badge of honor. It’s not something anyone chooses. It’s a battle no one signs up for, and calling it bravery can sometimes minimize the raw reality of what someone is enduring.

Grief is life-altering. It becomes part of the person who is grieving, their days, their nights, their memories, their future. What they need most is not praise for how they’re carrying it, but presence: someone to sit beside them, walk at their pace, and remind them they are not alone in it. Comfort comes less from compliments and more from companionship, less from telling and more from showing up.

The greatest gift we can offer is not to name their strength, but to lend them some of ours by simply being there.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

25/08/2025

It's a very normal human impulse to want to make people feel better, but trying to cheer up a grieving person simply doesn't work. Most people don’t want to be cheered up, they want to feel HEARD.

When things are dark, it’s ok to be dark. Not every corner needs the bright light of encouragement. In a similar vein, don’t encourage someone to have gratitude for the good things that still exist. Good things and horrible things occupy the same space; they don’t cancel each other out.

Instead, mirror their reality back to them. When they say, “This entirely sucks,” say, “Yes, it does.” It’s amazing how much that helps. It's amazing how that small act of acknowledgement helps.

It is an unfathomable relief to have a friend who will sit with you and let you feel exactly how you feel.⁣

For more on how to help a grieving friend, visit refugeingrief.com or watch our short animated video at this link: https://refugeingrief.com/video/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend-the-animation/

If you’re grieving, I recommend joining my monthly grief support group call where you can get answers to your questions about grief and spend time with a caring community of fellow grievers.

All the info is at https://www.patreon.com/megandevine

25/08/2025

We had a follower reach out because their loved one has received a terminal diagnosis, and they were wondering about conversation starters. We shared this a while ago, and now seems like a good time to share again. Please feel free to add your suggestions.