01/03/2023
I watched a documentary the other day where a couple married for 70years filed for divorce. This was after the wife found out that her husband cheated on her with her best friend 30 years ago while she was pregnant. The husband chose to confess this after years of silence and said that it was the only time he cheated and that it was a mistake.
When asked why she chose to divorce for something that had happened years ago, the wife said that it was not a mistake like the husband kept saying. She said it was a choice. A choice that made their 70years together a lie because she thought that she loved, and was with a loyal man. She said that she didn’t want to continue to live her few remaining years with this lie. Friends, this is how serious some people view adultery. It is a deal breaker, something that can never be repaired. But why do we take it so lightly?
Not a single month passes by without there being a s*x scandal involving married people nowadays. I believe this is so because of how we have normalized cheating in marriage, especially we the black community. I cannot speak for other races but i know for a fact that if there is one thing we tolerate and forgive constantly is infidelity. The cheaters know that they will always be forgiven.
I personally believe that some people honestly get married so they can get a license to cheat. A spouse and kids at home, and a wild side piece in the streets sounds like the “perfect” life to some. Nowadays we see married people openly introducing their sides to their friends, publicly hanging out with them in restaurants,football games,bars and clubs and even in malls like its so normal. You will be shocked to know that some are even brought into marital homes. What has happened to the sanctity of marriage? Why do we even get married if we are going to be entertaining other people?
Most married people don’t believe that infidelity is reason enough to divorce and would rather stay and keep forgiving an unfaithful partner than leave. We speak about how God hates divorce yet it is written in the bible how divorce is viable where adultery is concerned. We read about tragic stories everyday involving infidelity yet still do it. I have lost count of many posts i have written on cheating and its repercussions, and i doubt if this will be the last.
Adultery is more spiritual than it is physical and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we will stop introducing such a dark cloud into our homes. If you were a cheater before marriage, chances are that you will be worse after you say “i do,” so it all begins at the dating level. We need to stop normalizing cheating so much in relationships. It’s not a mistake to find yourself having an affair, but a choice.
There is no healing from cheating, so don’t think everything is okay just because they “forgave you.” Cheating is that first crack to your marriage breakdown. Let’s do better and inspire others, instead of making them fear marriage and seeing it as a playground. These mental breakdowns, s*x scandals and passion killings will continue to be news headlines until we do better. We cannot get married and still want to act like single people. We are human and imperfect, but always have a choice to do whats right. Just as cheating is a choice, leaving the marriage should also be.