Jake Joy Therapy

Jake Joy Therapy A Canadian Certified Counsellor, providing therapy around the globe to people who have found themselves in unhealthy relationship patterns.

08/24/2025

Don’t journal the old way! Box journaling takes a different perspective that you can find inspiring even when you look back on the months or years later.

“Loving a narcissist doesn’t mean you failed—it means you’re human.”💬 Share this if you’re learning to forgive yourself....
08/06/2025

“Loving a narcissist doesn’t mean you failed—it means you’re human.”

💬 Share this if you’re learning to forgive yourself.

So many survivors of narcissistic abuse carry deep shame—not just for what they went through, but for having stayed so long. For having hoped. For having loved someone who couldn’t truly love them back.
Dr. Ramani reminds us: narcissists are often highly charming, persuasive, and disarming. You didn’t fail—you were drawn into a cycle that’s hard to see clearly until you’re far enough away.
This wasn’t about your intelligence, strength, or value. It was about your empathy, your hope, your belief in people.
Healing means letting go of the shame, and letting in some self-compassion. You did your best with what you knew then. Now, you get to choose differently—with support and clarity.

Setting boundaries with a narcissist isn’t cruel—it’s essential.”What boundary has helped you reclaim your energy? Share...
08/05/2025

Setting boundaries with a narcissist isn’t cruel—it’s essential.”

What boundary has helped you reclaim your energy? Share

If you’ve ever felt guilty for creating distance, saying “no,” or pulling back from someone who hurt you—know this:
Boundaries are not punishments. They are protections.
In narcissistic relationships, boundaries are often met with resistance, blame, or even emotional punishment. But Dr. Ramani emphasizes that learning to hold your ground is one of the most powerful tools in healing.
Boundaries tell the truth:
🔹 This behavior is not okay.
🔹 I matter in this relationship.
🔹 I am allowed to protect my peace.
You don’t need to explain or convince.
You don’t need to make them comfortable.
You just need to start.
I can help you learn how to set boundaries that actually hold.

“I live in fear every day from him. I want him out of my life.”“I shake and have panic attacks when I’m out or hear my p...
07/23/2025

“I live in fear every day from him. I want him out of my life.”
“I shake and have panic attacks when I’m out or hear my phone go off out of fear he is there.”

— Madisson Cobb, 53 days before she was murdered by her ex.

This should never have happened.

As a therapist, I work with women who live under constant emotional siege. The threats. The stalking. The domination. The system turns a blind eye—until she’s dead.

Madisson’s story is not unique. It’s a brutal example of how our legal and social systems fail to protect women from known danger.

💔 Over 180 women were murdered in Canada last year—most by men they once trusted.
💔 Thousands more are being terrorized right now. Silently. Invisibly.

If you are living in fear, you are not alone. And it is NOT your fault.

We must do better. Now.

07/21/2025

See the rest of the video on my page!

07/21/2025

How sympathy is used by a narcissist when you are trying to leave the relationship- is real! I have many clients who feel sorry for their abuser in a way that they sacrifice their own wellbeing to protect them. Hard love - when you refuse to stay in a pattern of abuse, leave, cry for help, return. When you decide to leave the mild/moderate narcissist, they may start to look for a new way to be as this pattern is proving to not providing the results they want. This results in healing eventually. So ultimately it is the most sympathetic thing you can do.

“Narcissistic projection is about their shame, not your flaws.”What’s one criticism you’ve carried that was never actual...
07/20/2025

“Narcissistic projection is about their shame, not your flaws.”

What’s one criticism you’ve carried that was never actually yours? Drop it below and leave it behind.

One of the most damaging weapons in narcissistic relationships is projection—when someone offloads their own insecurities, guilt, or fear onto you.

“You’re selfish.”
“You always overreact.”
“You’re the manipulative one.”

Dr. Ramani teaches that projection is a defense mechanism used by narcissists to avoid facing their own emotional discomfort.

It feels personal—but it isn’t. It’s their shame trying to find a home outside of themselves.
When you begin to understand this, you stop internalizing the abuse. You start saying:
🚫 “That’s not mine to carry.”
🚫 “That’s about them—not me.”

If you’re ready to stop taking on what never belonged to you, therapy can help you draw that line.

🌟 Are you navigating midlife and craving deeper conversations, clarity, or connection? 🌟Would you be interested in joini...
07/20/2025

🌟 Are you navigating midlife and craving deeper conversations, clarity, or connection? 🌟
Would you be interested in joining a small group of midlifers to talk about what’s really important to you?
Our Thrive in Midlife Meetup is a warm, inclusive space where we gather every two weeks to explore what it means to grow, heal, and thrive in this next chapter. Whether you’re shifting careers, managing relationships, rediscovering yourself, or simply seeking connection—this is for you.

✨ Upcoming topic: will be announced closer to the date, check meetup.
📍 Location: Calgary Central Library
📅 Date & Time: August 9th 11am.

💬 Small group discussion, no pressure to share, just come as you are.
Let’s share stories, wisdom, and a few laughs with others who get it.
🤝 New members always welcome. Message me if you’re curious!

“You didn’t lose yourself. You were slowly erased.”It’s death by neglect. Dismissal. Control masked as care.🔁 Tag someon...
07/17/2025

“You didn’t lose yourself. You were slowly erased.”
It’s death by neglect. Dismissal. Control masked as care.

🔁 Tag someone who needs a reminder that they’re still in there.

In narcissistic relationships, your identity isn’t stolen all at once. It’s taken in small, dismissive comments. In withheld affection. In being told your needs are “too much.”
Dr. Ramani reminds us: this isn’t your fault. You didn’t just “lose yourself”—you were taught to abandon yourself to survive the dynamic.
But healing is possible.
🔁 You can reconnect with your voice.
🔁 You can rebuild self-trust.
🔁 You can return to your joy.
This is the work I do with clients every day—and you’re never too far gone to begin.

“You’re not just grieving the breakup—you’re grieving the fantasy.”🕊 If you’re grieving the version of someone that neve...
07/15/2025

“You’re not just grieving the breakup—you’re grieving the fantasy.”
🕊 If you’re grieving the version of someone that never fully existed—you’re not alone. Comment 💔 if this resonates.
Description:
Leaving a narcissistic relationship isn’t just about walking away—it’s about letting go of the version of the person you wished they were.
That fantasy—the ideal partner, the exciting beginning, the hope for change—was a powerful hook. Dr. Ramani calls this one of the hardest parts of recovery: mourning the imagined future and the version of them that only existed in moments.
Grief is not weakness. It’s not going backward. It’s part of the actual healing.
Give yourself full permission to grieve the loss of what was never truly safe or real.
❤️ You’re allowed to be sad.
🕊 You’re allowed to move on.
And therapy can help you do both.

“Red flags aren’t always loud. Sometimes they look like ‘being too sensitive.’”If you’ve ever been told you’re too emoti...
07/13/2025

“Red flags aren’t always loud. Sometimes they look like ‘being too sensitive.’”
If you’ve ever been told you’re too emotional, too dramatic, or that you “misinterpret things”—pause and reflect.

🧡 Which red flag have you ignored in the past? Drop it below—it might help someone else.

One of the most insidious traits of narcissistic abuse is how it conditions you to override your gut instincts. You slowly stop trusting yourself, because every concern is met with blame, dismissal, or emotional punishment.
Dr. Ramani teaches that emotional safety is subtle—but powerful. You shouldn’t need to rehearse your words or shrink yourself to keep the peace.
🚩 If you’re constantly walking on eggshells,
🚩 If the goalposts are always moving,
🚩 If you’re always the one apologizing…
These are red flags worth listening to.
You are not too sensitive. You’re picking up on something real.

Meet Hazel! If you haven’t already! She is my bestie, my adventure partner and often my co-therapist in session with cli...
07/12/2025

Meet Hazel! If you haven’t already! She is my bestie, my adventure partner and often my co-therapist in session with clients! Let me know if you would like to work with us! 😁

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909 17 Avenue Sw
Calgary, AB
T2T0A4

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