Kathleen Francis Counselling Services

01/23/2025

With mixed feelings but mostly from a place of being a concerned citizen of the world, I will be ending my use of an Meta platform. If anyone wants to reach me directly, I can be found at the following:

support@kathleenfrancis.ca

www.kathleenfrancis.ca

And I am trying Bluesky:

https://bsky.app/profile/kathleenfodrek.bsky.social

This is a heavily interactive web application, and JavaScript is required. Simple HTML interfaces are possible, but that is not what this is.

12/04/2024

For anyone not feeling it…

The pressure to be merry and bright can have the opposite effect, I know. The thing is, you’re loved. And your peace is worth more than anything you could wrap. ❤️

(From my daily guided journal ‘words to live by’… excited to begin this with you in the new year ❤️)

12/04/2024

I wish trauma processing was as simple as, we deal with something, and we never have to deal with it again.  But the truth is, in trauma recovery we often find ourselves returning to the same …

12/04/2024

This was so spot on.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18LswmyDxT/?mibextid=WC7FNe

11/22/2024

11/14/2024

I admit I am caught up in the Swiftie fever! Wish I could watch this incredible post and lyricist whose emotional depth resonates with so many. I love how this trauma informed physiotherapy clinic wrote a blog about what we can learn about trauma healing from the work of Taylor Swift!

Taylor Swift has become a cultural icon, not only for her catchy tunes and powerful lyrics but also for the vulnerability and authenticity she brings to her work. She has a unique way of capturing and expressing emotional pain, personal growth, and resilience that resonates deeply with millions ar

10/11/2024

Out of curiosity I started listening to this interview with Boris Johnson

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/9nMkR8dkwsBMa7NV/?mibextid=WC7FNe

I could not help but listen to it with my therapist’s hat on because the interviewer focuses on Boris Johnson’s recent memoir where he shares about his family and upbringing. I am only 10 minutes in, but it is a clear example of when someone tells a very disorganized and contradictory narrative or story of their past, which is a sign of trauma, attachment wounding, and parts of self and neurobiology that are unintegrated because some things are so painful that they are not acceptable to the individual. On the one hand he had wonderful loving parents yet on the other there was physical abuse in the home. He says that the most healing therapy is to dive into your work, and when challenged that it could also be a distraction from internal pain, he discounted that idea. From his story it sounds like he has begun the process of self-reflection, but clearly shows many defense mechanisms in his own thinking and how he sees things… a lot of denial, contradicting himself and his story. I feel confused listening to him which is a familiar feeling I am not aware of when interacting with people that use a lot of these psychological defense mechanisms. If I have learned anything, it is to trust the feeling in my body of being confused because people with these types of personalities use tactics and strategies that leave other feeling off balance and that is how they have figured out how to get what they want.

It is like a perfect case study, and I feel empathy for him because it sounds like he is trying to connect things and be self-aware but perhaps it is so painful for him to acknowledge certain things that he pushes it out of awareness. It clearly explains his grandiosity as something both modelled to him by an abusive father, and in how his personality developed through competition and cunning.

My mind is kind of blown. It is like the theories of trauma, adverse childhood experiences, psychological defense mechanisms and narcissistic personality development all rolled into an intriguing interview…. The interviewer did such a good job challenging him and not taking the bait when he twisted things around.

05/30/2024

RESTORATION

She stood there. Open. Unguarded. Undone. Simply being there in the middle of the world swirling the winds of uncertainty. She knew that her heart can get hurt. But she couldn’t do it any other way.

She dismantled the walls, the safety of her shadow that kept her safe since the days of the great fragmentation. A long forgotten season of her life, until life brought her back to her knees.

She was broken open once more. The initiation of her heart began once again. And the restoration of her soul called her to dig deeper this time. But not in the same places she dug before. Those sites are closed. She returned the sacred bones to the grave site and with reverence she covered them with the soil of her soul.

She must dig elsewhere. New wounds emerged. Not the mother wound. Not the child wound. But this time the wound of her own doing. The wound of her own self-doubt. Fears that she is not good enough. That she has nothing of value to give.

She, a Giver by nature, doubting her offers.

Doubting the gift given to her.

After all the work she’s done on herself she finds herself back to her sacred site. She is exhausted. She feels broken. Fragmented.
Ashamed that the gods can see inside her heart and know the truth of her untruth.

And yet, all she desires is to be true to what she feels. She doesn’t want it masked, covered by the spiritual dogma as dangerous as the pills a doctor would push on her.

She wants to be real. Even in her pain. Even in her disappointment with the world. With those she called “friends”. She sits with the philosophical, the psychological, the spiritual, the social perspectives on “letting go.” On forgiving and moving on. This is the time of deep excavation. A longing to restore. To reclaim. To recover the truth. Her truth.

No one is obligated to understand her truth. And no one is required to. She looks into her Self and knows that hearts can be broken. And hearts can be restored. No matter what. No matter who let her down.

And please, don’t tell her that she is not entitled to her perspective. Do not try to take away her right to see the world through the lens of her own life. Her own archetypes. Her own enneagram.

And how to begin the restoration of her truth?

By remembering who she is.

Start again slowly. Dismiss what is not sacred to you. Write about your values. Write about what makes you angry. Write about what makes you sad. Write about what you have mastered.

In my own restoration, I allow the memories of past lives to flow into my heart. And I feel my heart beating in my chest. This chest that nurtured babies in lives remembered. But not in this one. The fear that there is no one to remember her after she’s gone is real. What will happen to her ashes? This year brought her even closer to her mortality. A constant in the life of all mortals. And she is no different.

She goes back and forth between speaking of herself and the selves of others. Aren’t all the same? Is my breaking the breaking of all my sisters?

What have we learned in the past few years? In my restoration, in my remembrance I see myself buried in a corner of the dwelling where I used to live in the beginning of my existence. I have been around the sun many times. I am a Seer. I see in people’s hearts. I feel people’s feelings.

I am dragged out of my self by strings of hope. I am humbled once again by my unknowing. Those that say that know don’t know. Those that speak as they know my heart they don’t know.

She, the Soul Deep Woman is waking up.

Spiritual bypassing is a side of her that is just as hurt as any part of her that hangs on to some illusive truth that might save her from feeling lonely.
As she remembers past lives, she moves with compassion, self-compassion, into holding close to her heart those dear to her in this realm of existence.

She mothers herself in a way that she was never mothered.

Not judging her mother. Her father. But seeing the truth of them living their truth. And it’s ok to see the truth and not cover it up with the cloak of positivity.

To make changes, to stand in our power, to stand in our truth we are called to disrobe ourselves of false teachings. She is now aware that what some call “spiritual” is false teaching that keeps her from her own truth.

And what is to be done after remembrance?

Restoration calls her to revive the belief that she is worthy. She is allowed to feel. She is allowed to fail and make mistakes. She no longer makes excuses for others. She knows right from wrong.

What once boxed her, what once shackled her is now the story that she must tell. Everything that happened to her, happened for her. And she knows it.

Nothing was lost. No tear was in vain. She takes it all in. And she is better for it. For now she knows that she can’t wait for others to speak her message. To share her truth.

She is the messenger and the message. Her truth is her story. She is the story and the storyteller. Not the story of pain. But the new story emerging from under layers of betrayal, despair, abandonment and loneliness.

And she is now in restoration. The soil of her soul is tilled.

This is holy time. This is sacred unearthing….....................................
Reflection by Archaeology for the Woman's Soul
✍️ Corina Andronache -- Corina Luna Dea

Photo: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/455496949828741182/

05/29/2024

I am so grateful to have the flexibility and autonomy in my career to be able to attend my kids’ school events! Spending much of my day in the bleachers at a track meet, probably getting a sunburn, watching my daughter have fun with her friends is just gold to me! In my previous airline career I had a schedule where I could be engaged in my children’s lives in a way that was important to me. Now running my private practice, as much as hustle culture pulls me in, I have to consciously remind myself to be a kind boss and allow myself the time off to engage in these important parenting experiences.

Kids grow up so fast! It is a continual process of bringing conscious awareness at every stage of the journey to how I want to show up for them, in big and small ways.