11/23/2021
How often do you feel able to ask for what you really want? And not just “I’ll have the half-caff latte to go please”, but the big asks. Like “Can I have a promotion?” or “How about we holiday without your parents this year?”
You know, the big stuff, or at least that feels like the big stuff to you. How good are you at speaking up and asking for what you want?
You’re not alone in the slightest if your answer is, “Not very”. Self-advocacy – the ability to speak up for yourself, to communicate your wants and needs – isn’t a skill that comes very naturally to a lot of us.
However, to help our sense of well-being and ultimately live a life we’re much happier leading, it’s a skill we should actively seek to develop.
Here are some tips to help you find your voice, build your confidence and ask for what you really want.
1) Know what you want.
2) Believe you deserve it.
3) Prepare.
4) Seek support.
5) Communicate your needs and listen to others.
6) Keep a 'no' in perspective.
7) Embrace feedback.
We’ve all heard ‘no’ at least once in our lifetime and we’ve all survived, if not thrived. Remember, a ‘no’ doesn’t make the situation worse, it just made it the same. And a ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the end unless you tell yourself it is.
Don’t let fear hold you back, keep in mind you’ve got just as much chance (if not more chance after following these tips) of hearing a ‘yes’ but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.
With peace and love,
Esha Shoker MA, RCC
Wellness Talks
