04/20/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/1CZh5vjQCG/
SEXUAL HEALING IN THE CONTEXT OF LIFE
When I start working with someone, we have a talk, an introductory session.
In this, you'll tell me where you are, what you're looking to do.
I explain the framework I work in, what the journey is about, where it comes from, where it fits into our lives.
I love this first conversation, the opening of a connection, a container, a possibility, for both of us.
After about 30 yrs of doing this work there are a few, many actually, things that have shown their importance.
Here's one of them.
Our s*xuality, and s*xual healing, which is where the journey begins for many of us in some way, needs to be in the context of our lives.
It needs to be a part of all that we are, because it is.
Our s*xuality is expressed in, touches, so many parts of who we are, and so much of our life is expressed in our s*xuality.
Our s*xuality, sensuality, eroticism is not in a vacuum. It's not this little box that we take out in very specific circumstances and contexts, use it, then put it away again.
Even though many of us do that, or think we do.
Our s*xuality is linked to our self-definition, with our vitality, life-force, creativity, body, heart, mind, nervous system, energy system, even our spirituality.
Sensuality is how we experience life, the world, each other.
Eros is the expression of vitality, the body and heart.
Nothing in this is separate.
Our s*xuality doesn't happen in isolation, our s*xual issues, blockages, hurts, limitations, inhibitions, don't happen on their own.
They're all part of who we are, in so many ways.
When we have an issue, a pain, a blockage, in any part of life, we start to fix it.
Often, and this is important, without even knowing what we're fixing, we throw stuff, techniques, people, substances, at it, without taking some time to actually consider, see, look at, what we're doing, what the issue actually is.
We don't give ourselves the time to put it in a context.
Our s*xuality is connected to our lives, relationships, jobs, bodies, health, beliefs, heart…
A few weeks ago someone new to this work, it was our 2nd session together said that she thought she was coming here for conscious s*xuality. A little white later, in our discussion, she said that she got it, started to see how it fits together.
I shared a video recently, talking about how, at the moment, there are lots of people coming to learn Yoni and Lingam Massage.
One of the 1st questions I ask is about other massage they've done. There's often a silence there.
That's where the journey has to begin, with the body, the whole body.
With how to touch, with the heart, with energy, with connection, with…
A Yoni or Lingam Massage is in the context of our whole body, it's not just about our ge****ls, it's about all of us.
My ge****ls are no more separate from the rest of me than my heart is.
As our sensuality and s*xuality heal, expand, grow, as we explore and discover more, something happens.
Healing becomes something more, something else.
When the idea of healing expands into growing, into expansion, so much more happens, changes, shifts, moves, opens, often quicker than just fixing something.
As we expand in the realm of s*xuality, we have to expand in other areas of life.
So much of our life is about the environment we're in, physically, emotionally, spiritually, s*xually, all of life.
As our inner field expands, from healing, growing, learning, so does our world, how we express ourselves, what we want.
A beautiful example of this is communication.
As we become clearer on what we want, what we'd like, how we'd like to touch, be touched, experience, explore, we have to learn to communicate with greater clarity.
A big part of communicating is listening, learning how to listen.
Then how to create the experiences we'd like, what that brings us for our partners and lovers.
How that impacts our relationships.
And if we learn to communicate in this realm with more openness and clarity, how that touches other parts of life.
And if I'm saying yes, or no, to something here, s*xually, I'll start doing the same thing in other parts of life.
I'm interested in depth, that's what really draws me, taking the time to go there, build the container that allows that.
Part of that is the connection between s*x and spirituality, consciousness, s*xual energy, how they're linked, and express themselves in us, in life.
They all need, and create, a context, a framework, not only for pleasure, for life, for love.
As much as our s*xuality is about another, others, and for many of us, we’re only s*xual when we're in connection with another, rather than recognizing that we're sensual, s*xual, erotic beings in our own right, all the time.
As much as our s*xuality is about another, it's an inner journey.
And that's one of the deepest and most beautiful contexts of this journey.
I love that 1st conversation.
It's always different, it has so much in it.
And from that, so much opens for us, such delicious possibilities.
I invite you, let's make time to talk, connect…
**ra