Whitaker Mediation Ltd.

05/25/2023

As a family mediator, I find it important to keep up with professional development and seek out opportunities to learn. I recently completed the Osgoode Certificate in Family Law Skills and Practice at York University. An excellent program. It was mainly geared towards lawyers in Family Law, though I felt gave a non-lawyer family mediator like myself much to learn as well.

01/02/2023

Co-Parent Communication

You may not be ‘together’ anymore, but you still have to communicate with your co-parent. Whether it’s exchanging the kids for parenting time, discussing the latest dentist appointment, or just updating each other on what’s going on in the kids’ lives, communication is key.

The most basic are being able to call, text or email each other. You can even set up a shared calendar where you can both see everything related to the children. These can be shared with other caregivers or family members as required.

If regular phone calls, emails or text messages aren’t working for you, there are options out there to assist co-parents communicate what they need to. Many of these services offer messaging features, along with a calendar so you and your co-parent can stay on top of appointments and extra-curricular activities. Some options include Our Family Wizard, TalkingParents and ComeToAgreement. There are others out there. Most of them have a cost associated with them.

What service you use to communicate with your co-parent is one thing – the other is the actual flow of information. This needs to be done in a respectful manner. It is not productive to constantly be at odds with your co-parent. If this is a worry for you, I suggest you take a look at how to write BIFF responses. You can see a quick overview here:

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/hci-articles/how-to-write-a-biff-response

Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute has written all about BIFF responses. He has published a book specifically on writing them with your co-parent which may be useful for you to read.

Co-parent communication can be considered during family mediation. You and your co-parent can discuss the parameters of how you would both like to communicate and agree to some guidelines moving forward. This will hopefully reduce conflict in the future.

Whitaker Mediation Ltd. offers family mediation, as well as coaching services that could assist you with your co-parent communication. Please contact us to see if we would be a good fit to help you and your family.

01/01/2023

Happy New Year!

12/24/2022

It's Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas from Whitaker Mediation Ltd. - hopefully Santa is good to you this year.

12/18/2022

Happy Hanukkah from Whitaker Mediation Ltd.!

12/15/2022

Certification of Family Mediators

Choosing family mediation instead of going to court can be a great decision for many families. Though anyone can advertise themselves to be a family mediator, there are a few organizations in Canada that certify them.

Using a family mediator that is certified gives you the comfort in knowing that your mediator has met stringent requirements of both education and experience. It also means that they follow a Standards of Practice that guides their professional and ethical behaviour.

Glenndon Whitaker is a Certified Specialist in Family Mediation (FDRP Med.) from the Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario (FDRIO). He is also on their roster of Qualified Family Arbitration Screeners.

Glenndon follows the Standards of Practice for Family Dispute Resolution Professionals that FDRIO lays out. You can see them here:

https://fdrio.ca/about-us/standardsofpractice/

Other organizations in Canada that certify family mediators include the Ontario Association of Family Mediators (OAFM) and Family Mediation Canada (FMC). They each have their own Standards that their members are expected to follow and can be found online.

Please contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. to see if our services can help you during your family’s time of need.

12/01/2022

Whitaker Mediation Ltd. offers Pre-Mediation Coaching. We provide it to all our family mediation clients. We also offer it as a stand-alone service to any client prior to entering into mediation, whether they use us as the mediator or not.

The Pre-Mediation Coaching Model we offer is from the New Ways for Families® system by the High Conflict Institute. It teaches a number of skills you can use during mediation to hopefully increase the chances of the mediation being a success. A helpful by-product is that you can take these skills into your everyday life and improve your capacity to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. to discuss if Pre-Mediation Coaching may be appropriate for your situation, whether or not you are using us to mediate your dispute.

11/15/2022

Child Support

Paying child support is based on a few factors: income, province of residence and number of children. Seems simple, but based on a few other circumstances, the numbers could change.

For example, if you share Parenting Time about half of the time with the other parent, or if one child spends most of their time with one parent, while another child’s time is shared, that could change how much child support someone pays.

Depending on your situation, you may need to rely on the Federal Child Support Guidelines, or guidelines specific to your province of residence.

Please contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. to see if family mediation could be beneficial for your circumstance. As always, you can contact a lawyer who specializes in family law to discuss how the law applies to your situation.

Resources

The Federal Child Support Guidelines are located here:

https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/regulations/sor-97-175/index.html

A basic child support lookup is available here for the Federal Guidelines:

https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/child-enfant/2017/look-rech.aspx

If your situation falls under the Guidelines for the Province of Ontario:

https://www.ontario.ca/laws/regulation/970391

My Support Calculator is another resource you could consider:

https://www.mysupportcalculator.ca/

Divorcepath has a free calculator as well:

https://www.divorcepath.com/

11/11/2022

The Act of Remembrance

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

We will remember them.

11/01/2022

Co-Parenting Coaching

Glenndon Whitaker is licensed and qualified to coach parents using the New Ways for Families® (Co-Parenting Without Court) program. This program will teach you a number of concepts about co-parenting, and hopefully help you with making better decisions moving forward.

This program comes from the High Conflict Institute and includes 12 sessions:

Session 1 Managing Stress
Session 2 Flexible Thinking
Session 3 BIFF Response®
Session 4 Personalities
Session 5 Extreme Behaviour on a Child's Brain
Session 6 Raising Healthy Children
Session 7 Child Developmental Goals
Session 8 Parenting Schedules
Session 9 Using Professionals
Session 10 New Partners New Families
Session 11 Financial Issues
Session 12 Avoid Becoming High Conflict

The amount of coaching sessions you use is completely up to you.

Contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. to discuss if this program and coaching may be appropriate for your situation.

10/31/2022

Happy Halloween from Whitaker Mediation Ltd.

10/15/2022

Conflict Management Coaching

Conflict is around us, in both our personal and professional lives. With Conflict Management Coaching, you can learn how to better handle conflict. This could be a conflict you are experiencing right now; or it could be a conflict you are expecting in the future, and you want to be better prepared for.

Conflict Management Coaching is a one-on-one coaching experience using a proven system and tailored to your unique situation. It is done over a few sessions, giving you time to improve your conflict management skills.

Contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. for a free consultation to see if Conflict Management Coaching is right for you and your personal situation.

10/01/2022

Pet Custody Mediation

Separation and divorce are a stressful time for you and your family. There is no question about it. What about the pets? Do they feel this stress? How do you decide what is best for them?

Legally, depending on your area of jurisdiction, your pets may be seen as property. If you and your ex-spouse fight over the dog(s) or cat(s) and where they go, you may be surprised to see how the courts deal with it.

In family mediation, however, you and the other party can make customized decisions for your pets that you may not be able to get in a court. In mediation, questions can be asked and answered that a court may not have the time for. In mediation, you can really think about what you think is best for your pet.

With a skilled family mediator, you and the other party can determine what is best for your pets. You can think outside the box. You can tailor it to what your pet and the rest of your family needs.

Whether it be for a dog, cat, parrot, or other pet, if you want to stay out of court, family mediation may be a good solution. Please contact Whitaker Mediation Ltd. for a free consultation, and discuss your needs and see if it is right for your family.

09/15/2022

Financial Disclosure during Family Mediation

If any of the issues you plan to address during your family mediation are financial in nature, you need to make full financial disclosure.

Why? To make the best decisions you can, both you and the other party need to be sure neither is hiding anything financially. Making financial disclosure can be complicated depending on your situation; it may be a good idea to get Independent Legal Advice (ILA) when doing so. A lawyer can also better advise you on the pitfalls of hiding financial information during your separation or divorce (mediation or not).

One way to make financial disclosure is to fill out the appropriate forms that are used in Family Court. In Ontario, Rule 13 from the Family Law Rules are what applies to Financial Disclosure. Form 13 Financial Disclosure (Support Claims) or Form 13.1 Financial Disclosure (Property and Support Claims) are the two forms that might be applicable to your situation. You can find them here: http://ontariocourtforms.on.ca/en/family-law-rules-forms/

It helps when filling out the forms and/or making financial disclosure in some other way, that you have documents that substantiate the numbers you use. The following is a list of documents you may need – though depending on your personal situation, there may be others not found in this list.

o Personal Income Tax Returns for the past three years
o Income tax summaries for the past three years
o Notices of Assessment or Re-Assessment from CRA for the past three years
o Pay stubs to prove current annual income
o Letters from all employers setting out current income and any pertinent details (overtime, bonuses, layoffs, etc.)
o Documents from Employment Insurance WSIB, Ontario Works, disability benefits, etc.
o Record of Employment from previous employer
o Statement of Business Income & Expenses
o Statements for all bank accounts
o Various bills and statements for all expenses, utilities, etc.
o Business valuation
o Pension valuation
o Proof of payment of extraordinary expenses
o Quotes for anticipated extraordinary expenses
o Proof of payments for any support
o Valuations of any property listed
Whitaker Mediation Ltd. is available to provide family mediation for your separation, divorce, or other matter. Please contact us for a free consultation so you can decide if mediation is for you.

09/01/2022

Do you need legal advice before, during or after family mediation?

Throughout the process of family mediation, your mediator may suggest that you obtain independent legal advice, or ILA for short.

As a family mediator, I follow the Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario (FDRIO) Standards of Practice for FDR Professionals. Throughout the commentary for these standards, it mentions the importance of the parties to obtain ILA.

As a neutral third party, family mediators offer legal information to the parties, not legal advice. It is up to the parties to make sure they understand “their rights and responsibilities to each other, their children and affected third parties.” (FDRIO Standards of Practice). A lawyer will give you advice on your situation. This is important to have to make sure when you are in the mediation room, you understand what you are negotiating with – what you could gain and lose.

When you get a lawyer for ILA, both parties need their own; you cannot share.

Do not expect a lawyer to just ‘rubber stamp’ the agreement you come up with. A lawyer wouldn’t be doing their job if they did that. Expect them to give you a comprehensive analysis of the pros and cons. In the end, it is up to you what you accept in mediation.

To find a lawyer, many of whom give a free consultation, you can go to the Law Society of Ontario – https://lso.ca/public-resources/finding-a-lawyer-or-paralegal

To see the FDRIO Standards of Practice for FDR Professionals – https://www.fdrio.ca/home/standardsofpractice/

Whitaker Mediation Ltd. is available to provide family mediation for your separation, divorce, or other matter. Please contact us for a free consultation so you can decide if mediation is for you.

05/29/2022

Website has been updated, please take a look!

www.whitakermediation.ca

Alternative Dispute Resolution Services With Amicable Results Avoid the uncertainly of court judgments by opting for mediation instead LEARN MORE Mediation and Conflict Resolution Services Whitaker Mediation Ltd. offers a range of alternative dispute resolution services for clients, with a focus on....