03/23/2026
5 years ago today…
In the NICU there’s no guarantees. Nobody will ever tell you “it will all be okay” because nobody truly knows. And that was the thing I yearned to hear someone say to me the most. But no one could, the permanent displaced feeling of the rug being pulled out from under you continues on… Until eventually you find yourself collecting days of life as if they’re special coins. And in some crazy way, those days of life truly were like special rare coins.
To have made it to this day felt so surreal. 100 days felt like an absolute miracle at the time. Some days passed so eerily that you were scared to close your eyes, because tomorrow is never promised with these tiny tiny babies. To live an experience where days of life can break up slowly into hours is something I’d never wish on anyone. I’ll never forget thanking God for one more hour, one more day.. Or begging to God for one more hour, one more day. That kind of experience as a parent will never leave you.
To sit here 5 years later and look at these pictures feels so surreal. It still makes me emotional knowing there were days I didn’t know if I’d ever get to bring her home. This day was magical. I’m so thankful for the nurses who helped me celebrate the small stuff, the ones who helped me decorate her side of the room and who celebrated right alongside with me. They made celebratory signs for her room, and truly made this day feel like the celebration it was.
To have been given the gift of her life for the last 5+ years has brought me so much joy. From 100 days, to 1916 days they haven’t always been easy but I’m so thankful for every single one of them. 💜
