Chaos to Calm Counselling & Consulting Ltd.

01/26/2026

Big emotions are overwhelming for everyone - but they’re not random - and they don’t have to run your household.

This post breaks down:
✔ what’s actually happening during meltdowns
✔ why punishment and accommodation both backfire
✔ how to respond with calm, clear leadership

👇🏼 Click the link below for the full blog post
💾 Save this - you’ll want it later

When your child has big emotional meltdowns over seemingly small things, it can feel confusing, frustrating, and exhausting. From a behaviour-therapy and child development perspective, these meltdowns aren’t random – and they’re not simply about the little thing in front of you. They’re a si...

01/24/2026

Sibling fights aren’t always what they look like.

If you’re responding to the loudest moment, you might be missing the pattern underneath it.

👉🏼 Swipe to read more.
👉🏼 Join the Transforming Defiance waitlist to learn the full system.

01/23/2026

If sibling conflict feels constant in your house, this matters:

You’re not failing.
Your kids aren’t broken.
And this isn’t “just a phase.”

Repeated sibling fights usually mean:
- power struggles are forming
- boundaries aren’t clear yet
- regulation is breaking down before skills can show up

And that’s fixable.

👇🏼
What’s the hardest part of sibling conflict for you right now, that you love some support with?

I’ll be touching on a few of these in future posts!

01/22/2026

When sibling fights break out, talking more usually makes it worse.

No yelling.
No lecturing.
Immediate separation.

Stopping the behaviour first restores safety.
Teaching comes after everyone is calm – not during chaos.

This isn’t punishment.
It’s leadership.

Save this for the next blow-up.
Or watch the full breakdown on YouTube

You got this. 💪🏼

01/21/2026

Sibling fights aren’t just “kids being kids.”

When siblings fight constantly, it’s usually a sign of a power struggle - not personality problems, not bad behaviour, and not something they’ll simply grow out of.

In this video, I explain the psychology behind sibling rivalry, why fairness-based parenting often makes fights worse, and what actually helps reduce conflict over time.

If you’re exhausted from refereeing, taking sides, or trying to be fair - this will shift how you see sibling conflict completely.

👇🏼 Watch the full video to understand what’s really driving the fighting and how leadership changes everything.

Are your kids constantly fighting, arguing, or competing for your attention?Most parents assume sibling rivalry is about personality differences or kids need...

01/19/2026

Sibling fights don’t stop because kids “figure it out.”
They stop when someone calmly takes the lead.

You don’t need to take sides.
You don’t need to play detective.
You need clear rules, early intervention, and predictable outcomes.

That’s how homes become safer.
That’s how behaviour actually changes.

👉🏼 Read the full blog: How to Stop Sibling Fights Without Taking Sides
👉🏼 Or join the Transforming Defiance course waitlist for the full system.

You got this. 💪🏼

01/19/2026

🚨 NEW BLOG POST 🚨

If you have more than one child, you’ve likely lived this moment more times than you can count: You’re in the kitchen.You hear arguing.Then yelling.Then crying.Then the unmistakable sound of the kids running up to tell you all the things the other one did wrong. Before they can reach you, you ca...

01/17/2026

Working out is part of my parenting practice. 💗

I don’t work out just for strength or aesthetics.
I do it for my own self-regulation, so I can show up as the best version of myself for my kids.

Because I know this about myself:
When my own nervous system is regulated, I respond better.
When it’s not, everything feels harder - including parenting.

Moving my body a few times a week helps me:
✔️stay physically active and fit so I show up with enough energy and focus to tackle the day
✔️ release stress before it spills over
✔️ stay calmer under pressure
✔️ keep myself in check during big moments

It also matters for another reason.

If I want my kids to put screens down, go outside, move their bodies, and do hard or boring things sometimes - I need to model that first.

I can’t ask them to regulate, cope, or shift gears if I’m not practising it myself.

This isn’t about preventing meltdowns.
Kids still have big feelings.

It’s about leading by example - taking care of myself and regulating myself so I can model it for my kids and so I can keep myself calm during those challenging moments.

Self-care isn’t indulgent.
It’s regulation.
It’s modelling.
And it’s part of the work. 💜

01/17/2026

We all do it.
We explain. We repeat. We talk more.

When kids are struggling, our instinct is to help them understand.
That makes sense.

But most learning doesn’t happen through talking. It happens through experience.

Kids learn regulation through repeated moments of:
- calm responses
- clear expectations
- consistent follow-through

They mirror your nervous system.
They borrow your calm.
They learn how to cope by watching how you cope.

This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about noticing the moment - and choosing your response.

Your response in the moment becomes the lesson. 💞

01/16/2026

Every interaction is a moment of learning.
Your calm, consistency, and care are teaching skills that last.

Even on the toughest days or in the smallest moments, remember - you’re doing incredible work, and you’re making a huge impact ✨

You got this! 💪🏼

01/15/2026

Most parents try to “win” the argument. But in a power struggle with a child, if you’re fighting to win, you’ve already lost.

To change the behavior, you have to change the feedback loop.

Here’s the blueprint:

1️⃣ Lower your volume.
High-intensity parenting breeds high-intensity defiance.

2️⃣ Label the wins.
If you only notice the undesirable behaviour, the very behaviour you want to see decrease, will actually grow over time. Notice the good stuff, too.

3️⃣ Stop the negotiation.
A boundary isn’t a suggestion. It’s a standard. Hold it - don’t negotiate it.

I’ve put together a full deep-dive on the Social Learning Theory behind these steps over on YouTube. If you’re ready to move from chaos to calm, confident leadership, check out the link in my bio.

You got this! 💪🏼

01/13/2026

Most parents are trying harder —
but defiance keeps getting worse.

That’s not because your child is stubborn, manipulative, or “just like this.”

It’s because defiance isn’t a personality trait.
It’s learned behaviour.

In this video, I break down the psychology behind why children stop listening — and why many common discipline strategies unintentionally make defiance stronger over time.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding the system that’s shaping behaviour — so you can finally change it.

If you’ve tried charts, consequences, explaining, negotiating, and still feel stuck… this will change how you see your child’s behaviour.

👉🏼 Watch the full video below.

And if you’re ready to transform your child’s defiance to calm, cooperative behaviour, once and for all, get on the waitlist for our Transforming Defiance course here 👇🏼
https://carla-stern-8c5f.mykajabi.com/TDwaitlist

Is your child’s defiance getting worse despite everything you try? Most parents think defiance is a personality trait, but psychology tells a different story...