Tiffany Wilkie RSW Counselling

11/27/2025

Trauma shapes how people see themselves and the world. When we view trauma through the lens of ‘what happened’ instead of ‘what’s wrong,’ we create space for healing, understanding, and growth ❤️

IT'S NOT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" IT'S "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME & HOW DID IT SHAPE ME?"

What happened (the event)
-Big T or little t trauma
-One-time or ongoing
-Relational, developmental, or environmental
• breakup or divorce
• A global pandemic
• A traumatic birth or surgery
• Cancer
• A car crash
• childhood bullying
• An emotionally unavailable parent
• A physical or sexual assault
• Chronic microaggressions
• An unexpected loss

How it felt (your experience)
• "I don't belong."
• “No one came for me."
• "I had to freeze or shut down."
• "I was powerless and confused.”
• " have to stay strong for everyone else."
• "It's not ok to feel."
• “I’ll never be safe again"
• “It's my fault"
• "I'm not good enough"

How it shaped you (The Effects)
• anxiety
• shame and guilt
• emotional numbness
• perfectionism
• Nightmares, or intrusive thoughts
• Hypervigilance (always scanning for threat)
• "People pleasing" and overfunctoning
• Body tension, fatigue, or chronic pain
• Disconnection in relationships
• Chronic irritability
• Avoidance
• Difficulty trusting

11/07/2025

Anger gets a bad rap. We call it ugly, unkind, too much.
But anger is almost never the problem. It’s the signal.
Anger shows up when something you care about feels threatened.
When your boundaries have been crossed.
When your needs have been ignored too long.
When love has nowhere safe to land.

Underneath every outburst, every sharp word, there’s usually a hurt. A disappointment. A deep care that’s gone unseen.

Anger is energy, it’s passion in disguise and if you learn to listen instead of explode, it’ll tell you what matters most.

So next time you feel that heat rise, don’t shut it down. Get curious.
Ask: what is this trying to protect? Because anger isn’t the opposite of care.
It’s the proof of it.

11/05/2025

Parenting deserves badges — not for perfection, but for showing up, breathing through chaos, and choosing connection over perfection!

11/04/2025

Proud to partner with the New Brunswick Farmer Wellness Program 🌾 — offering confidential, no-cost counselling for farmers, farm families, and farm workers across the province!

Learn more and connect with a counsellor today: www.farmtalkcare.ca

11/04/2025

Some days are harder than others — and that’s okay. Save this reminder for when you need a little extra kindness toward yourself.

10/28/2025

Parenting has a way of exposing old, unprocessed anger from childhood — especially if we weren’t seen, heard, or allowed to feel big emotions growing up. Noticing what triggers us is the first step to breaking the cycle instead of passing it on.

In childhood, were you seen, heard, validated and affirmed? Were you listened to? Did you feel safe?

These are all connected to deep emotional feelings that could be at the root of your anger. Because anger doesn’t evolve from nothingness getting to the root is important. Then processing it is the next step.

When we’re angry it’s easy to loose control of ourselves because it completely takes over our thinking and actions.

Parenting makes us confront repressed anger, ours and our child’s. Perhaps much of our anger is unprocessed anger from childhood that rears up and even surprises us because we didn’t realize the depth of anger in us. It can be very scary when this happens and it will be scary for your child.

Unless you were taught how to process emotions, anger being perhaps the most volatile, you will carry your repressed anger into parenting and then find yourself having big reactions or even exploding when triggered. It can be an extremely hard cycle to break.

So instead of accepting “this is how you are”, break the cycle by confronting your repressed anger. Sometimes we don’t even know where to start. If you find that you’re unsure, I suggest you begin by noticing what it is that your child does that triggers you; you can even journal to become aware. Then when you notice patterns, reflect to better understand how you experienced this in your childhood. Then take the next step and really think about what you needed in those moments.

Were you told to be quiet? Go to your room to think about what you said or did? Stop crying? Don’t make that sad face? Or just flat out told to not be angry or there would be some consequence or punishment. Whatever the message was that told you to push your anger down has now left you with unprocessed anger.

It can be scary when you discover, while parenting your child, just how much anger you have been unknowingly holding on to. And worse yet, no one has told you that this would be a challenge you would face or how to overcome it. Then when your child gets very angry, yells, screams, kicks, bites and you get triggered, your anger rises and your emotions take over. 

Continued 👇🏾

10/27/2025

Connection > correction 💛
Notice feelings, offer calm, then guide toward skills. Support is only effective when it’s felt.

Family Tree Therapy

08/11/2025

Practice the pause 🫶

Emotional Regulation

08/01/2025

🌞 New month, new office! Now seeing clients in suite 119-A (same building, just down a floor)

07/28/2025

Self-acceptance and individuality are important and essential skills that are nurtured through Play Therapy. 💜

Let us continue to recognize and celebrate the nurturing and transformative impact of therapeutic play. 💛

07/26/2025

Did you know?
Talking badly about parents is not the way to support young people.

07/11/2025

Often what we label "attention-seeking" in children is actually a deeper plea for connection. They aren't trying to annoy us, but to communicate an unmet need. When we understand this, our response shifts from frustration to empathy. Look for the need behind the behavior ❤️

😍